Why I Prepared My Home, Finances, and Family Before Cancer Surgery

Sep 3

15 min read

Financial documents, medical records, bills, a budget plan, and family preparation notes organized on a table before cancer surgery. — Preparing for surgery while holding on to hope.

Preparing My Home, Finances, and Family for the Possibility That I Might Not Come Home

Preparing your home for cancer surgery is not something people tell you about. Online I found stuff about my cancer and treatements but I never thought to look at home preparation. While cancer was taking over my medical calendar, I was still going to work every day.

I tried to schedule appointments in the afternoon whenever possible. I knew I would need significant time away from work for two surgeries and chemotherapy, so I wanted to avoid using more leave than necessary before treatment began.

Every hour mattered.

I was meeting doctors, arranging procedures, researching my cancer, reviewing my finances, and trying to understand what recovery might look like.

At the same time, I was expected to sit at my desk and continue doing my job as though my life had not changed.

I had only about two weeks before the first surgery.

There was a lot to prepare.

And some of what I had to prepare for was difficult to say out loud.

I had to prepare my home.

I had to prepare my finances.

I had to prepare my family.

And, as painful as it was, I had to prepare for the possibility that I might not come home.

I Knew I Would Have to Stop Working Temporarily

My treatment schedule made it clear that I could not continue working normally through every part of it.

First, surgeons would remove the three large tumors from my abdomen.

Approximately two weeks later, another surgeon would remove the tumor from my back.

Then chemotherapy would begin.

Even if everything went according to plan, I would be recovering from one operation when it was time for the next.

I had to think realistically about my income.

Fortunately, I had enrolled in short-term disability coverage before I became sick. Under my particular plan, the benefit replaced approximately 60 percent of my paycheck while I was unable to work.

That decision became one of the most important parts of my financial preparation.

Short-term disability plans vary. They may be offered through an employer or purchased privately, and they can have different eligibility requirements, waiting periods, benefit amounts, and coverage periods.

Short-term disability is also different from the federal Family and Medical Leave Act, or FMLA.

For eligible workers, FMLA can provide up to 12 workweeks of unpaid, job-protected leave during a 12-month period for certain serious health conditions. Group health insurance can generally continue during qualifying FMLA leave under the same conditions as if the employee were still working. Short-term disability benefits may also run at the same time as FMLA when the requirements are met.

My plan did not replace my full salary.

Sixty percent was better than receiving nothing, but it still meant my household income would drop while my medical expenses increased.

That was something I needed to prepare for before surgery.

I Had to Rebuild My Budget Before Cancer Treatment

Between diagnosis and surgery, I began reorganizing my budget.

I needed to know what absolutely had to be paid and what could temporarily be reduced, delayed, or eliminated.

I looked at:

Housing
Utilities
Insurance
Food
Transportation
Minimum debt payments
Medical expenses
Prescription costs
Household supplies
Expenses for my children
Services or subscriptions I could pause

The budget I had used while receiving a full paycheck would not work while receiving only part of my income.

Cancer did not cancel my ordinary bills.

It added new ones.

I had to plan for a period when I would have less income, more medical costs, and less ability to do things myself.

That meant I needed to know where every dollar was going.

Short-Term Disability Was Not the Same as Job Protection

Before cancer, I had not fully understood that income replacement and job-protected leave could be separate benefits.

Short-term disability helped replace part of my paycheck.

FMLA, when a worker and employer meet the eligibility requirements, may provide job-protected leave for a serious health condition. FMLA can also provide continued group health coverage under the same conditions that applied while the employee was working.

A person may qualify for one benefit and not the other.

That is why I think it is important to ask questions before you are already in the middle of treatment.

If you are preparing for cancer surgery and still working, ask your human resources department:

Do I have short-term disability insurance?
What percentage of my income will it replace?
Is there a waiting period?
Must I use paid leave first?
How long can benefits continue?
Do I qualify for FMLA?
Will disability and FMLA run at the same time?
What medical certification is required?
How will I pay my health insurance premiums while I am out?
What happens if my recovery takes longer than expected?
Do I have long-term disability coverage?
Which forms must my doctors complete?
What are the deadlines?

The U.S. Department of Labor specifically advises workers to understand how FMLA interacts with paid leave and short- or long-term disability benefits.

I wish I had understood all of this before cancer forced me to learn it.

Then I Realized I Might Not Be Able to Sleep in My Bed

Preparing for surgery required more than filling out work forms.

I began thinking about my home.

I was going to have a major abdominal operation, followed by surgery on my back.

I would be healing in the front and then healing in the back.

How was I going to sleep?

My regular bed might be too difficult to get into and out of.

Lying flat could hurt my abdomen.

After the second surgery, putting pressure on my back might also be painful.

I needed a place where I could adjust my position.

I needed to be able to raise my feet, sit partly upright, and stand without twisting my body.

I began looking for a reclining couch and loveseat.

During COVID this was nearly impossible to find. But I found one and the loveseat was delivered a few days before my surgery and the couch four months later.

I Had Always Bought Furniture as Cheaply as Possible

Throughout my life, I had been frugal.

I went to estate sales and yard sales.

I accepted furniture other people no longer wanted.

Sometimes I found items left beside the road that could be cleaned and used again.

Buying a brand-new living-room set was not something I normally allowed myself to do.

But this time, the furniture was not simply about decorating my home.

It was part of my recovery plan.

I needed a couch and loveseat without a hard divider between the seats.

I wanted enough space to stretch out and change positions.

I needed to be able to keep my feet raised or lowered depending on what felt comfortable.

Then another thought entered my mind.

“If I die, at least I will have owned something nice for the first time.”

That may sound dark.

But those are the thoughts that can come when you are preparing for cancer surgery.

You are making practical decisions while also considering the possibility that you may not survive.

I decided that I deserved something comfortable and new.

My Son Helped Me Find the Right Furniture

I took my oldest son shopping with me.

He knew how frugal I was, so I asked him to help me find what I genuinely needed without letting fear or sales pressure take over the decision.

The timing made everything harder.

It was during COVID.

Many people were spending more time inside their homes and buying furniture. Stores had limited inventory, and delivery delays were common.

I could not order a special couch and wait several months.

My surgery was in approximately two weeks.

I needed something suitable that was already available or could arrive quickly.

We were not only shopping for furniture.

We were trying to build a recovery area before the hospital admitted me.

A Recovery Space Should Make Life Easier

After major surgery, normal movements may become difficult.

Standing up from a low seat can hurt.

Reaching for a drink can pull on an incision.

Getting into bed can require more strength than a patient has immediately after surgery.

Walking across the room for medication may feel much farther than it did before surgery.

The American Cancer Society recommends following your surgical team's specific instructions about activity, lifting, wound care, medications, and recovery. It also notes that some people need help at home for a period after surgery.

For me, the goal was simple:

Make the things I needed as easy to reach as possible.

A practical recovery area might include:

A firm chair, couch, or recliner that is not too low
A nearby table
Water
Medication
Tissues
A phone and charger
A lamp
A television remote
A wastebasket
Easy-to-reach snacks
A thermometer
Written medical instructions
Extra pillows
Clean blankets
A place to record medication times

The exact setup depends on the operation and the patient.

My Family Bought Me a Hospital Tray Table

My son and daughter-in-law bought me an adjustable hospital-style tray table.

It could move over the couch or chair and be raised or lowered.

That table became a place where I could:

Eat
Drink
Take medication
Watch television
Write
Keep my phone nearby
Organize the items I needed most

It was the kind of item I might never have thought to purchase before surgery.

Once I needed it, it made everyday life much easier.

They Also Gave Me a Nursing Pillow for My Abdomen

My son and daughter-in-law bought me a curved nursing pillow, sometimes called a breastfeeding pillow.

It was not being used for a baby.

It was being used to support my surgical abdomen.

When I laughed, coughed, sneezed, or moved, I could hold the pillow against my stomach.

After abdominal surgery, some patients are taught to support the incision with a pillow when coughing or moving. However, the surgical team should provide instructions specific to the operation.

The pillow gave me something soft to press against my body when sudden movement hurt.

It was a small item with a very practical purpose.

My Daughter-in-Law Helped Prepare the Details

My daughter-in-law was a pharmacist, and her mother had already been through cancer treatment.

That experience helped her think about things I did not know to consider.

My family created a small area near my recovery space containing items such as:

Ginger products
Snacks
Supplies I could reach easily
Personal-care items
Things that might help with nausea
Items needed near the couch or bed

They also thought about bedding and protection for the area where I would sleep.

After surgery, a person may deal with drainage, sweating, wound care, medication effects, or difficulty reaching the bathroom quickly.

Clothing and underwear may rub against incisions or feel uncomfortable.

These are not glamorous subjects.

They are real parts of recovery.

Patients should ask their surgical team what clothing, wound coverings, hygiene supplies, and bedding protection may be appropriate for their specific procedure.

The Things Nobody Thinks to Tell You

Before cancer surgery, everyone talks about the operation.

Few people explain how different ordinary life may feel afterward.

You may need:

Loose clothing
Slip-on shoes
Clothing that does not rub against your incision
Extra sheets
Easy access to a bathroom
A shower chair
Help washing
A raised toilet seat
A reacher or grabber for picking things up
A medication organizer
A walking aid if recommended
A phone within reach
Help caring for pets
Help with meals and laundry

Not every patient needs all of these things.

Buying unnecessary medical equipment can become expensive.

Ask the hospital whether a nurse, physical therapist, occupational therapist, or discharge planner can recommend what you actually need.

Your surgery and recovery are unique to you.

My Friend Glenda Was Coming From Florida

One of my best friends, Glenda, lived in Florida.

She planned to travel to West Virginia to help me.

Her role was not limited to cooking or sitting beside me after surgery.

I wanted her to be able to help manage my finances if I was too sick, hospitalized, medicated, or unable to speak for myself.

I planned to make her my financial power of attorney.

That meant we needed to complete legal documents before surgery.

I Had to Prepare for the Possibility That I Would Not Come Home

Preparing legal documents forced me to face something I did not want to think about.

I was going into major surgery with an aggressive cancer.

There was a possibility that I might not come out of the operating room.

There was also a possibility that I could survive but temporarily be unable to make medical or financial decisions.

During those two weeks, I worked on:

A financial power of attorney
A medical power of attorney
Advance directives
End-of-life wishes
A will
Information my family would need
Instructions about my finances

These were documents I had always thought I would complete someday.

Cancer changed “someday” into “before surgery.”

Medical and Financial Powers of Attorney Are Different

A medical or healthcare power of attorney names a person who can make healthcare decisions when the patient cannot communicate or make those decisions independently.

A financial power of attorney may authorize someone to handle financial matters. The authority granted depends on the document and applicable state law.

These are different responsibilities.

The National Institute on Aging explains that a durable power of attorney for healthcare can name a healthcare proxy who can make medical decisions if you are unable to communicate. A living will can communicate your preferences about medical treatment if you cannot make decisions yourself.

Because legal requirements vary by state, use forms that are valid where you live and seek legal advice when necessary.

Choosing a Person Is Not Enough

Naming someone on a form does not automatically prepare that person.

The person needs to know:

Where the documents are kept
Which doctors are involved
What you value
Which treatments you would or would not want
How you feel about life support
Who should receive information
How to reach family members
Where financial information is stored
Which bills must be paid
Where insurance information is located
Whether the person has access to the home
What responsibilities you expect them to handle

The National Institute on Aging recommends choosing a healthcare proxy who understands your values and wishes and is willing to communicate with your healthcare team.

The conversation can be harder than signing the paper.

It is also more important.

My Children Were Preparing Too

My family members were not only watching me prepare for surgery.

They were preparing for the possibility that they might have to care for me afterward.

My son helped find the furniture.

My son and daughter-in-law bought the tray table.

They found a pillow to protect my abdomen.

My daughter-in-law used her medical knowledge and her family's cancer experience to think about supplies I might need.

These acts of preparation were expressions of love.

They could not remove the tumors.

They could make sure I had a safe place to rest when I came home.

Preparing the Home Gave Us Something We Could Control

Cancer had created many things we could not control.

We could not change the pathology.

We could not make the tumors disappear without treatment.

We could not guarantee that surgery would go perfectly.

But we could control where I would sleep.

We could put water within reach.

We could organize paperwork.

We could choose who would make decisions.

We could prepare food.

We could reduce the number of things that would need to be solved after I came home.

Practical preparation did not remove the fear.

It gave the fear somewhere useful to go.

A Pre-Surgery Income Checklist

Before taking medical leave, ask:

Do I have short-term disability?
What percentage of my income will it replace?
Is there a waiting period?
When should I submit the claim?
Which doctor must complete the paperwork?
How frequently will updated medical forms be required?
Will taxes be withheld?
Do I qualify for FMLA?
Will FMLA and disability run at the same time?
How will I pay health-insurance premiums?
Can I use paid time off before or during disability?
What happens if recovery lasts longer?
Do I have long-term disability?
Can I return gradually or work reduced hours?
Will I need a fitness-for-duty statement?

Do not assume human resources, the disability insurer, and the medical office will automatically communicate with each other.

Track every form and deadline.

A Pre-Surgery Budget Checklist

Review:

Expected disability income
Available paid leave
Emergency savings
HSA or FSA funds
Insurance deductible
Out-of-pocket maximum
Prescription costs
Transportation
Food and delivery expenses
Household help
Automatic payments
Bills that can be paused
Minimum debt payments
Financial-assistance applications
People authorized to manage finances

Prepare the budget using the lower income amount before leave begins.

That makes the financial change less shocking when the first reduced paycheck arrives.

A Home-Recovery Checklist

Ask the surgical team whether you may need:

A recliner, firm couch, or alternative sleeping space
Extra pillows
An abdominal support pillow
A tray table
Loose clothing
Bed or furniture protection
A shower chair
A raised toilet seat
A walker or cane
Help with stairs
A medication organizer
A thermometer
Wound-care supplies
Easy meals
Transportation
Someone staying overnight
Home-health services

Do not use another patient's list as a substitute for your medical team's instructions.

Different operations create different restrictions.

The American Cancer Society notes that recovery needs vary by surgery and that some people may need help at home after surgery.

A Legal-Preparation Checklist

Consider organizing:

Will
Healthcare power of attorney
Financial power of attorney
Living will or advance directive
HIPAA authorization
Emergency contacts
Medication list
Insurance information
Account and bill list
Employer contacts
Disability-policy information
Location of important documents
Instructions for dependents or pets
Funeral or end-of-life wishes
Secure access to important account information

The National Institute on Aging recommends organizing important legal, financial, and healthcare documents and keeping copies where trusted people can access them if needed.

What I Wish Someone Had Told Me

I wish someone had told me that the two weeks before surgery could feel like preparing for a move, a financial emergency, a legal crisis, and a medical procedure all at the same time.

I wish someone had explained the difference between short-term disability and FMLA.

I wish I had known earlier to create a complete list of bills and accounts for the person who might have to manage them.

I wish hospitals gave every major-surgery patient a practical home-preparation checklist.

I wish someone had told me that buying a couch for recovery was not irresponsible spending.

For once, comfort was not a luxury.

It was part of my medical preparation.

I Allowed Myself to Have Something Nice

The furniture represented more than a place to sleep.

My whole life, I had found ways to make do with what other people no longer wanted.

Cancer forced me to look at my life differently.

I did not know how much life I had left.

I did know I needed a safe and comfortable place to recover.

I decided I deserved something nice.

Not because I was dying.

Because I was fighting to live.

Hope for Today

Preparing for cancer surgery can feel frightening because every practical task carries a deeper meaning.

You are not merely signing a form.

You are deciding who will speak for you if you cannot speak.

You are not merely buying furniture.

You are creating a place where your body can heal.

You are not merely changing a budget.

You are protecting your home while your income drops.

You are not merely asking someone to visit.

You are trusting that person to help carry your life when you cannot manage it alone.

Preparation does not mean you believe the worst will happen.

It means you are reducing the number of problems your family will have to solve during a crisis.

I prepared for the possibility that I might not come home.

At the same time, I prepared a place where I could recover when I did.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I prepare my home before cancer surgery?

Start by asking your surgical team what movement restrictions and recovery needs you are likely to have. Then make commonly used items easy to reach, arrange a comfortable place to rest, prepare meals, organize medications, and arrange help with transportation, pets, laundry, and other daily tasks.

What should I ask my employer before cancer surgery?

Ask about short-term disability, FMLA eligibility, paid leave, health insurance premiums, required medical forms, deadlines, and what happens if your recovery takes longer than expected. FMLA and disability benefits can sometimes run at the same time, depending on the circumstances.

Does short-term disability protect my job?

Not necessarily. Short-term disability generally provides income replacement according to the policy. Job protection may come from FMLA, state law, employer policy, an employment agreement, or another applicable protection.

What is a healthcare power of attorney?

A healthcare power of attorney is a legal document that can name a person to make healthcare decisions for you if you become unable to communicate or make those decisions yourself. State requirements vary.

Is a healthcare power of attorney the same as a will?

No. A will generally addresses property and estate matters. A healthcare power of attorney addresses healthcare decision-making when you cannot make or communicate your own decisions.

What should I have at home after cancer surgery?

Your needs depend on the type of surgery. You may benefit from a comfortable resting area, easy access to medications and water, appropriate clothing, prepared meals, transportation, and help with daily activities. Your surgical team should tell you if you need specific equipment or supplies.

Should I prepare legal documents before cancer surgery?

If you do not already have important legal and healthcare documents in place, a major medical procedure can be a good reason to review them. Advance directives can communicate your healthcare wishes and identify someone you trust to make medical decisions if you cannot. State requirements vary, so use appropriate state forms and consider legal advice when needed.

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