Learning to Sit with Your Feelings Instead of Running from Them
- Deborah Ann Martin
- 5 days ago
- 4 min read
Most of us were never taught how to sit with our feelings. We were taught to hide them, to push them down, or to cover them with busyness and smiles. We learned to keep it together, to be strong, to “get over it.” But the truth is, what we bury stays alive — it just finds new ways to come out later.
For years, I ran from my emotions because feeling them was too painful. I filled my life with activity, responsibilities, and distractions. I worked, volunteered, helped everyone else, and told myself I was fine. But deep down, I was exhausted. I wasn’t fine. I was numb.
It wasn’t until my life got quiet — after divorce, after the kids were grown, after the busy stopped — that I realized all those feelings I’d avoided were still there, waiting to be felt.
Why We Run From Our Feelings
Running feels safer.
Pain makes us uncomfortable. Grief, anger, fear, guilt — they all demand attention we don’t feel ready to give. It’s easier to scroll, clean, work, eat, or overcommit than to sit in silence and listen to our hearts.
But avoiding emotions doesn’t make them go away. It just delays healing.
When you sit with your feelings — really sit with them — something powerful happens. You start to understand them. They lose control over you because you stop running.
Feeling Isn’t Weakness — It’s Healing
I used to think crying was weakness. Growing up, there wasn’t much space for emotion in our house. You got up, kept moving, and dealt with life. So when pain came, I shoved it down and pretended it didn’t hurt.
But John Gray once said, “You have to feel it to heal it.” That phrase became my spine. It was like permission to stop pretending.
When I started letting myself feel to grieve, to get angry, to cry, I realized those feelings didn’t break me. They freed me. They helped me understand why I reacted the way I did and what I needed to heal.
Feelings are messengers. They tell you what’s wrong, what’s missing, what’s hurting, and what’s waiting to grow.
My Turning Point
After my divorce, I spent so much time being strong that I didn’t notice how empty I felt. Then one day, I just stopped running.
I sat in my quiet house, and the silence was deafening. All the pain I’d been avoiding came rushing out — sadness, betrayal, anger, loneliness. I thought I was falling apart. But looking back, I was finally coming together.
You can’t heal from what you refuse to face. And once I allowed myself to sit with the pain, I could finally start letting it go.
How to Sit with Your Feelings
Find a safe space. Somewhere quiet where you can be honest without judgment.
Name what you feel. “I’m sad.” “I’m angry.” “I’m disappointed.” Naming it takes away its mystery.
Let your body respond. Cry, scream, journal, pray, or take a walk. Don’t bottle it up.
Ask what your feelings are trying to tell you. Maybe you need rest. Maybe you need closure. Maybe you need grace.
Give yourself compassion. Talk to yourself like you would a hurting friend.
End with hope. Don’t stay stuck in the feeling — remind yourself that it’s temporary and you’re growing through it.
What You Can Try Today
Write down what emotion you’ve been avoiding most and why.
Spend ten minutes sitting quietly — no phone, no distractions — and let your thoughts flow.
If you cry, let yourself. Tears are cleansing, not weakness.
Pray for peace, not perfection.
Journal about one emotion that keeps returning. What does it need you to hear?
Take a walk in nature to help your body release what your heart is holding.
Listen to music that matches your mood — it helps you process.
Tell yourself, “It’s okay to feel this.”
Remember a time you faced pain before and survived. You’ll survive this too.
End the day with gratitude for your courage to face what’s inside.
The Gift of Stillness
Sitting with your feelings isn’t comfortable, but it’s where true healing begins.
You learn that you’re not broken — you’re human. You learn that sadness won’t destroy you, and anger won’t define you. You learn that you can handle more than you thought you could.
Most of all, you learn that peace doesn’t come from avoiding pain. It comes from facing it — feeling it — and letting it move through you.
Support on Your Journey
Healing gets lighter when you walk with others who understand. Join one of our Surviving Life Lessons Community Groups, safe spaces where stories connect, encouragement flows, and support is mutual.
Every group is unique, but they all share one mission: to help people grow stronger together. You’ll find a place where your story matters where you can both receive and give hope.
Find your group today and start building a community that helps you keep standing—no matter what life brings.
When life feels heavy, you don’t always need advice, but you just need someone to care. That’s what Neighbor Chat is for.
We’re not doctors, lawyers, or counselors. We’re just real people—neighbors who listen without judgment and offer space to breathe . Whether you’re struggling, processing, or just need to talk, you’ll be met with empathy and kindness.
It’s not therapy. It’s a connection. Because sometimes, being heard is where healing begins.
Schedule your Neighbor Chat today and experience what it feels like to simply be listened to.
Because healing happens best in connection with yourself, and with others who understand.
Wix SEO Metadata
Focus Keyword: sit with your feelings
SEO Title: Learning to Sit with Your Feelings Instead of Running from Them
Slug: learning-to-sit-with-your-feelings
Meta Description: Learn how to face your emotions instead of running from them. Discover how feeling your pain leads to peace and lasting self-healing.
Excerpt: Avoiding your emotions delays healing. Learn how to sit with your feelings, feel them, and finally begin to heal.
Tags: self-discovery, healing, emotional awareness, mental health, faith, forgiveness
Alt Text: Woman sitting quietly near a window with sunlight, symbolizing reflection and emotional healing
Category: Self-Discovery
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