Grieving Without Getting Stuck
- Deborah Ann Martin
- 7 days ago
- 5 min read
Grief has a way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it.
It can hit quietly — in the middle of a memory, a song, a smell — or all at once, like a tidal wave that takes your breath away. No matter how strong you are or how much faith you have, grief still knocks you off your feet.
I learned that lesson in the Navy when I lost my sister. I kept walking around like everything was fine, showing up for work, doing my job, laughing when I was supposed to. But one night, I was on watch — alone for hours — and it all came crashing down. I cried harder than I ever had in my life. Four hours straight of every bit of pain, confusion, and loss pouring out.
That night, I thought I was losing my mind.
Now I know I was finally allowing myself to grieve.
The Pain That Doesn’t Fade
People like to say time heals all wounds, but that’s not really true. Time softens pain, but it doesn’t erase it.
When you lose someone, the missing never completely goes away. You just learn to live around the hole they left behind. The edges of grief smooth out, but the space never fully closes.
You stop expecting the pain to leave and start learning how to carry it differently.
Grieving isn’t weakness, it’s proof that love existed.
The Grief You Don’t Expect
What surprised me most was that grief doesn’t just come when someone dies. It shows up in every kind of loss.
When I went through my divorce, my mother-in-law told me, “It’s like a death. ”At first, I didn’t understand. But she was right.
The life I had known — the routines, the home, the shared dreams — it all vanished. I was angry, heartbroken, scared, and lost. I had to grieve the person I was, the family I had, and the future I thought was mine.
Once I allowed myself to treat that loss like grief, I could finally start healing. I stopped pretending it didn’t hurt and started processing it like I would any other heartbreak.
And that’s when I realized, grief is everywhere.
It shows up when you lose a job, when your health changes, when kids grow up and move out, or when life simply shifts in a direction you didn’t plan.
Grieving isn’t just about people. It’s about letting go of what used to be.
Grieving the Life That Changed
When I was diagnosed with cancer, it wasn’t just the physical fight that was hard — it was the emotional one.
I had to grieve my old life. The one where my days weren’t filled with doctors, treatments, and questions about the future. The one where I didn’t wake up wondering if the cancer might come back.
That kind of grief is silent but heavy. It’s not just about what you lose, it’s about what will never be the same again.
But as painful as that realization was, it also reminded me to appreciate every good day I still have. To be thankful for the life I can live, even if it looks different now.
The Healing in Feeling
For years, I tried to hold it together. I thought if I just stayed strong, I could skip over the messy parts of grief.
But grief doesn’t go away because you ignore it. It just waits — quietly — until it has your full attention.
When you finally let yourself feel it, you’re not falling apart. You’re releasing what’s been trapped inside. You’re giving your soul permission to heal.
Grief has to move through you before it can loosen its grip on you.
That’s why crying isn’t weakness. It’s how your body lets go of what your heart can’t hold anymore
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Moving Through, Not Around
The hardest part of grief is that there’s no finish line. It’s not something you get over — it’s something you move through, layer by layer.
You’ll have good days and bad ones. You’ll think you’re okay, and then a song, a smell, or a memory will break you open again. That’s normal. It’s part of healing.
Grieving without getting stuck means allowing those moments without letting them define you. It means honoring what you’ve lost while still choosing to live.
You carry love forward by living fully, not by staying in sorrow.
What You Can Try Today
Give yourself permission to grieve. You don’t need to be strong all the time.
Name your loss. Say out loud what or who you’re grieving — clarity helps release it.
Write a letter. Tell the person or situation what you never got to say.
Allow tears. Crying is your body’s way of cleansing pain.
Find rituals of remembrance. Light a candle, share stories, visit meaningful places.
Talk about it. Grief loses power when it’s shared.
Be patient with yourself. Healing doesn’t run on a schedule.
Celebrate what remains. Gratitude and grief can coexist.
Pray when you don’t know what to say. God understands broken words.
Choose life daily. The best way to honor those you’ve lost is to keep living.
The Gift Hidden in Grief
Grief never gets easier, but it does get gentler.
The pain may stay, but it teaches compassion. It deepens faith. It reminds you to love fiercely while you still can.
I’ve learned that every loss reshapes me, but it doesn’t have to define me. It teaches me to hold tighter to what matters — family, faith, laughter, love — and to cherish the time I have.
Grief may have taken pieces of my heart, but it also expanded it. And through that brokenness, I’ve found strength I didn’t know I had.
Support on Your Journey
Healing gets lighter when you walk with others who understand. Join one of our Surviving Life Lessons Community Groups, safe spaces where stories connect, encouragement flows, and support is mutual.
Every group is unique, but they all share one mission: to help people grow stronger together. You’ll find a place where your story matters where you can both receive and give hope.
Find your group today and start building a community that helps you keep standing—no matter what life brings.
When life feels heavy, you don’t always need advice, but you just need someone to care. That’s what Neighbor Chat is for.
We’re not doctors, lawyers, or counselors. We’re just real people—neighbors who listen without judgment and offer space to breathe . Whether you’re struggling, processing, or just need to talk, you’ll be met with empathy and kindness.
It’s not therapy. It’s a connection. Because sometimes, being heard is where healing begins.
Schedule your Neighbor Chat today and experience what it feels like to simply be listened to.
Because healing happens best in connection with yourself, and with others who understand.
Wix SEO Metadata
Focus Keyword: grieving without getting stuck
SEO Title: Grieving Without Getting Stuck: How to Heal and Move Forward
Slug: grieving-without-getting-stuck
Meta Description: Learn how to process grief in healthy ways. Discover how to grieve loss without getting stuck — from death and divorce to health and life changes.
Excerpt: Grief isn’t just about losing people. It’s about letting go of what used to be. Learn how to grieve without getting stuck and find peace through healing.
Tags: self-discovery, grief, healing, emotional resilience, faith, loss
Alt Text: Woman sitting by candlelight holding a photo, symbolizing grief, healing, and remembrance
Category: Self-Discovery
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