Holidays After Divorce: Starting Over in a New Town or Place
- Deborah Ann Martin
- 2 days ago
- 6 min read
When you’re far from home, traditions feel out of reach, and the holiday blues hit hard.
Moving after a divorce is common. Sometimes it’s by choice, a fresh start in a new town. Other times, it’s forced by money, custody arrangements, or just needing to escape the old life. Either way, it can feel isolating.
No familiar faces. No shared traditions. No one to say, “Remember how we used to do this?” Just you, maybe your kids, maybe a suitcase, and a quiet house that doesn’t feel like home yet.
The holidays are already hard. Being in a new place can make them feel even lonelier. But they can also become the beginning of new memories, a new community, and maybe even new joy.
Why It Hurts So Much Starting Over in a New Place
After a divorce, you’re already grieving what was. Moving to a new place adds another layer of pain:
You don’t know anyone
The streets aren’t familiar
Traditions feel impossible to replicate
You feel invisible, like you’re starting from zero
You don’t want to “crash” someone else’s holiday
You miss the comfort of knowing where you belong
Even if the move was necessary, the grief is real. Acknowledge that. It’s okay to miss your people, your routine, your “normal.”
But also keep the door cracked for what’s possible here. In this new place, there is space to build new memories and roots. The healing journey has its own rhythm, and you’re taking steps toward your new future, even when it feels lonely.
You’re Not Alone Starting Over on the Holidays After Divorce
It might feel like everyone around you has their holiday plans perfectly arranged, but the truth is: you’re not alone in your aloneness.
There are other single parents, newcomers, widows, widowers, and even college students spending their holidays in unfamiliar places. The key isn’t avoiding the sadness. It’s refusing to let the sadness have the final say.
Think about this: Loneliness is temporary. New relationships, new memories, and a new community are all waiting for you.
7 Ways to Reclaim the Holidays When You’re Far From Home
Use Local Event Calendars to Your Advantage. Every town has its holiday events, many of them free or low-cost. Local resources are there to help you feel connected to your new community.
Check out:
Chamber of Commerce websites
Library calendars
City parks & recreation pages
Local Facebook groups or event pages
Nearby churches, temples, or cultural centers
These listings often include parades, tree lightings, menorah events, free concerts, craft fairs, volunteer drives, and more. These aren’t just events, they’re invitations to connect, to step out, and to start building roots in your new place.
Show Up Even If You Don’t Know Anyone. Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes it looks like showing up to the town’s Christmas tree lighting with a cup of cocoa in your hand and your heart pounding. Go anyway.
Even if you don’t speak to anyone, you’ll see familiar faces next time. It builds. You’re planting the seeds for connection, even if they don’t bloom overnight.
Get to Know Your New Area. Create a local adventure list. Start small:
Visit one place of worship you’ve never attended
Explore one park, museum, or walking trail
Find one local diner, coffee shop, or bakery to become your “go-to” place
Volunteer somewhere, help at a soup kitchen, join a toy drive, or deliver meals to those in need
These simple acts make the unfamiliar feel a little more like yours and take some of the loneliness out of the equation. They’re a way of making your new space feel like home.
Bring Back One Old Tradition No Matter Where You Are. Pick something from your “old life” that still matters to you and bring it to your new home:
A specific meal you loved to cook
A holiday playlist you’ve always listened to
A prayer, reading, or quote that comforts you
A photo or ornament that reminds you of better times
Place it in your new space and say, “This tradition came with me.” It honors your past while anchoring your present, reminding you that you’re still you, even in this new chapter. You can carry your traditions with you, even if everything else is different.
Invite People In, Even Just One. You don’t need a full dinner party to feel connected. Try:
Inviting a neighbor over for cocoa
Offering to host a holiday movie night
Going to someone else’s gathering with a side dish or dessert
Loneliness shrinks when you share warmth, even in small doses. You never know where those small invitations could lead. By opening up, you create room for connections that could evolve into lasting friendships.
Let Your Kids Help Create New Traditions. If you have children with you in your new town, let them help design your “new normal.” Ask:
What do you want our new tradition to be?
What should we do every year, no matter what?
How can we make this feel special together?
Kids love creativity. Let them help you build new memories instead of focusing only on what you’ve lost. When they help create the tradition, they’re more likely to feel ownership and excitement about it. Plus, they’ll feel less sadness about the things left behind.
Reach Out to Old Friends Even If They’re Far Away. Just because you’ve moved doesn’t mean you’re forgotten. Take a moment to send a holiday text, plan a long-distance video call, or share a tradition over FaceTime.
You may be out of sight, but you’re not out of love. And while you’re building new memories in your new home, these virtual connections can help keep you grounded, reminding you that love doesn’t depend on proximity.
Bonus Tip: Build a New Holiday Ritual for Yourself
If you're alone or just need some time to reflect, create a holiday ritual that’s just for you:
Light candles and write in a journal to reflect on the past year.
Create a vision board for your dreams and goals for next year.
Take time for rest and rejuvenation. The holidays can be a time of deep personal reflection, and that’s perfectly valid.
These moments are your own, and they give you space to heal, recharge, and embrace the holiday season on your terms.
Closing Thoughts About Holidays After Divorce
Moving to a new town after divorce is tough, especially during the holidays. It’s okay to feel sadness and loss. It’s also okay to let yourself grieve and recognize that what you’re experiencing is a season of rebuilding. With time, your new place will start to feel more like home.
By stepping out, creating new connections, and bringing a bit of your old traditions with you, you can make this holiday season one of meaningful growth, new memories, and a renewed sense of possibility.
What You Can Try Today
It's hard to be away from family and friends in a new place during the holidays. Try one small thing or all of the items on the list.
Look up your city or county’s holiday event calendar. Find one event to attend this week.
Make a “new in town” bucket list. One café, one holiday spot, one outdoor walk.
Choose one holiday tradition to bring into your new space. Even if it’s just lighting a candle or watching your favorite movie.
Text an old friend. Say, “Hey, this season is hard. Miss you.”
Practice this mantra: “I am allowed to feel sad and hopeful. This is a new chapter, not the end of the story.”
You’re Not Alone in This
Being the “new person” during the holidays is brutal. But you are not forgotten. Not erased. Not destined to be lonely forever.
This new place might feel empty now, but it's also full of possibilities. One step, one event, one connection at a time, you are building something new.
At Surviving Life Lessons, we believe that healing happens in community even if you’re starting from scratch. We welcome you to join our group. Whether you’ve lived in your new town for five minutes or five years, there’s a space for you here.
Come join us.
You don’t have to navigate the holidays alone.