First Date Poem - The Anxiety, Questions, & What Comes Next
- Deborah Ann Martin
- May 9
- 6 min read
Learning to Work Through First Date Anxiety
Starting to date again can bring up emotions you didn’t expect. Even when you feel strong and whole, that first step back into dating can bring anxiety and fear.
I remember feeling excited and nervous at the same time. My mind would race with questions before I even left the house. This first date poem comes from those moments where your thoughts take over, and you wonder if you are ready.
It is not just about meeting someone new. It is about putting yourself out there again after everything you have been through. You start thinking about what could go wrong instead of what could go right. That fear is real, especially when you have already experienced hurt.
The Questions That Run Through Your Head
Before I even left the house, the questions started:
What do I wear?
Will there be awkward silence, or will I talk too much?
What if I talk about the wrong things?
Am I interesting or boring to another person?
What if they are weird or not safe?
What if I like them and they don't like me?
When do you kiss? What if they want to and I am not interested?
Will they ask me out again? What if I don't want to go out again?
What I learned is that those feelings are normal. It does not mean you are not ready. It means you care. It means you are trying to protect yourself while still being open to something new.
The key is not to let those thoughts stop you. It is to work through them, one step at a time.
First Date Poem
Starting to date brings so much anxiety and fear.
The stress can even bring a tear.
There’s so much anxiety when going on a first date.
You're excited and can’t wait.
As time draws near,
The internal questions add additional fear.
What do you wear?
How do you style your hair?
If he gives me the creep vibe, be crazy, or make me annoyed,
Will my emergency call work and be deployed?
Will I be able to make sure we are never alone?
Will I spill something on me or trip since I am accident prone?
If I like him, then tomorrow will he call?
If I don’t, how do I tell him where my intentions fall?
What do I do if awkward silence happens on the date?
Should I be early, or should I be a little late?
Wow, I have so many questions to ask.
While I am performing my predate task.
I am so nervous maybe I shouldn’t go
I have to some time, I know.
As I drive to the place,
Panic sets in, and my heart starts to race.
How can I work thru this?...ah-hah. Call a friend!
I call the one I know I can depend.
We laugh as I begin to share.
She talked me through it all the way there.
I get there a little early and begin to wait.
He must be running late.
What if he doesn’t show?
How long do I wait? I do not know?
I need to kill time while I am able.
What is acceptable while you wait at the table?
There he is at the door.
He matches his picture and more.
When he comes over, do I sit or stand?
He introduces himself and holds out his hand.
I smile and introduce myself too.
Now, what do I do?
I start talking about the venue.
Then I ask him what he likes off the menu.
We begin to talk and share.
Before long, I don’t seem to have a care.
Stress and anxiety go away.
I am relaxed for the rest of my stay.
What do I think about this man?
Do I want to see him again?
What does he think about me?
I guess I will have to wait and see.
From Love and Heartache Moments: Healing Poems After Divorce and Breakups
Part of the Life Moments Series
© 2025 Deborah Ann Martin. All rights reserved.
Reflection on the First Date Poem
This poem captures something so many people feel but do not always say out loud. The anxiety before a first date can feel overwhelming. Your mind runs through every possible situation.
I remember those feelings clearly. It was not just about the date. It was about putting myself in a position to be vulnerable again. After going through heartbreak, that step can feel bigger than it should.
The thoughts can come fast. What if I do not like him? What if he does not like me? What if something feels off? What if I say the wrong thing? It can feel like you are preparing for something much bigger than just dinner or coffee.
What helped me was realizing that I did not have to have all the answers before I went. I just had to show up.
One of the most important parts of this poem is when I call a friend. That moment matters. Sometimes you need someone to remind you that you are okay, that you are strong, and that you can handle whatever happens. That support can shift your mindset and calm your nerves.
Then something interesting happens.
You get there. The person shows up. You start talking. And slowly, the anxiety fades. You realize that the situation you built up in your head is not as overwhelming as it felt before.
That does not mean every date will be perfect. It does not mean every person will be right for you. But it does mean you can get through it.
This poem shows the full journey. From fear, to panic, to showing up, to relaxing, and finally to wondering what comes next.
If there is one thing to take from this, it is this. You do not have to be fearless to go on a first date. You just have to be willing to try.
The Style Behind the Words
Poetry Style Name: Modern narrative poetry (tells a clear, unfolding story) with strong influence of confessional poetry and Elements of dramatic monologue
Structure and Form: Multi-stanza poem organized into narrative sections that follows a clear timeline from preparation to reflection
Tone: Nervous, honest, relatable, and reflective
Poetic Devices:
Meter: Short to medium lines with a conversational flow
Rhyme and Rhyme Scheme: Rhyming couplets throughout the poem. Consistent end rhyme creates flow and cohesion Example: fear / tear, date / wait
Sound and Rhythm: Steady and flowing, matching natural thoughts and conversation
Imagery: Scenes of everyday, relatable situations: like getting ready, driving, waiting at the table
Storytelling: A full beginning, middle, and end experience
Repetition: Repeated questioning emphasizes anxiety and overthinking. Frequent use of “What if…” and “What do I…”
Rhetorical Questions: Dominant device in the poem which pulls the reader into the speaker’s thoughts and reflects realistic inner dialogue before a first date
Internal Monologue: The poem reads like a stream of thoughts, enhancing authenticity. Asking questions that reflect real thoughts before a date
Contrast: Anxiety → calm transition and also fear at the beginning vs. comfort by the end
Alliteration (subtle): “stress…so much” and “panic…place”
Hyperbole (mild): Exaggerated worry reflects emotional intensity
Theme: Self-love, boundaries, and emotional growth
Reading Level: 6th grade and up — accessible yet deeply layered
Explore More Love and Heartache Moments
If this poem feels familiar, there are many more moments like this in Love and Heartache Moments. This book shares real experiences from dating, heartbreak, healing, and learning to trust again.
About the Life Moments Series
This poem is part of my Life Moments Series, which explores the beauty, heartbreak, and growth we experience in everyday life.
Each book in the series captures different themes, love, heartbreak, parenting, joy, childhood, and more.
You can read more poetry or explore all of my books.
References
Love and Heartache Moments: Healing Poems After Divorce and Breakups, Deborah Ann Martin, 2025.
Deborah Ann Martin Amazon Author Central Page: https://www.amazon.com/author/deborahamartin
About the Author:
Deborah Ann Martin is the founder of Surviving Life Lessons, a published author, poet, speaker, and trainer with over 20 years of management experience across multiple industries. An MBA graduate, U.S. veteran, single mother, and rare cancer survivor, Deborah brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her writing on resilience, leadership, personal growth, and overcoming adversity. Her mission is to empower others with practical wisdom and real-life insight to navigate life’s challenges with strength and purpose.
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