Volunteering: Finding Yourself While Helping Others

Deborah Ann Martin
Nov 7
6 min read

Updated: Nov 13

When people think of volunteering, they often picture community events, charity fundraisers, or holiday food drives. But volunteering is more than giving time. It is about discovering who you are through what you do for others. It is where your skills meet someone else’s needs, and something bigger than both of you grows from that connection.

A man and woman smiling as they pick up trash outdoors, working together to clean up the environment. Their expressions reflect joy, purpose, and the fulfillment that comes from helping others and making a difference. — The best way to find yourself is to give yourself.

I grew up in a family where volunteering was not an occasional act. It was part of life. My mother would go to the nursing home to cut and perm hair and paint nails. My siblings and I would sweep up hair, hand her supplies, and help polish nails. It was not glamorous, but it made people smile. My dad drove the church bus, and my mom kept the kids entertained by singing songs. She would tape a little prize under one of the seats each Sunday. The rule was simple: stay in your seat. At the end of the ride, before everyone got off, she would have us check the seats. If we followed the rules, someone found a treat. If not, no one did. Those small lessons taught us about patience, participation, and reward.

Our youth group at church also believed deeply in serving. We did fundraisers to pay for mission trips and community projects. We raked leaves for older church members in what we called a “rake and run.” We would clean yards, stack sticks, and disappear before they could say thank you. We learned the joy of giving without expecting anything back. Those early experiences taught me to find happiness in helping.

When I joined the Navy, volunteering became a way to stay grounded while being far from home. I helped whenever I could, from dressing up as a pirate mascot to being the Easter Bunny who visited children. It may sound silly, but wearing those costumes brought laughter and joy to others, and it gave me a sense of purpose. Maybe that is why when I worked at a chicken restaurant, I loved dressing up as the mascot there too. People called me the “chicken lady,” and I wore that name like a badge of honor. Bringing joy to people, even through a costume, felt like a small but powerful way to make the world better.

Later, when I became a mother, volunteering became something I passed on to my children. I worked in concession stands, served as an AWANA leader and Commander, helped with PTA projects, and jumped in wherever I was needed. But more than that, I wanted my kids to understand that volunteering is not just a chore or an obligation. It is a way of living.

As a family, we volunteered together. We served food to the homeless, collected canned goods for food drives, and participated in the Salvation Army Christmas Angel program. We gathered stuffed animals for police and firefighters to give to children in trauma situations. One of my favorite memories is helping with a program in Virginia Beach that collected used toys, cleaned and repaired them, and delivered them along with new ones to children whose parents were in jail. It was like a Santa’s workshop brought to life.

Another time, we helped feed more than three hundred children at a Christmas toy drive called W.A.L.K.I.N. It was hard work. Volunteering often is. There were long hours, sore feet, and tired backs. Sometimes it meant rearranging our schedules or giving up weekends. But when it was over, we always felt full — not of exhaustion, but of gratitude. We knew we had been part of something meaningful that brought smiles to children and comfort to families.

That is the real beauty of volunteering. It is inconvenient. It takes effort. It asks you to show up when it would be easier to stay home. But the reward that comes afterward, the feeling that you helped someone, is a kind of joy that nothing else can replace. The sense of purpose, community, and connection lasts long after the event is over.

A woman looking at her reflection in a mirror, appearing thoughtful and calm. The image represents self-discovery and personal growth that come from acts of kindness and serving others. — The reflection of who you become when you give.

Volunteering Teaches You Who You Are

Volunteering is one of the best teachers of self-discovery. When you serve, you see your strengths and weaknesses in real time. You might discover patience you did not know you had or realize that you love organizing and leading people. You might learn you are good with kids, animals, or logistics. You might also realize that you prefer being behind the scenes, quietly supporting others.

It is free training for life. You gain experience in teamwork, communication, leadership, and compassion — skills that translate into every area of your personal and professional world. Many people find their careers, passions, or lifelong friendships through volunteering. It is also a safe way to step outside your comfort zone.

If you are shy or unsure, start small. Volunteer with a friend or family member. Serve at a community event, local church, or food pantry. Hospitals, schools, and animal shelters are always looking for help. The United Way lists hundreds of opportunities, and a quick online search for “volunteer opportunities near me” will bring up local options. If you see a need and no program exists, start one. Some of the most inspiring projects began with one person noticing a problem and deciding to act. Many children have started book drives, coat drives, or toy collections that grew into ongoing community events. Volunteering does not require perfection. It just requires willingness.

Volunteering Helps Your Mind and Body

Volunteering not only helps others; it helps you too. Research from Harvard Health Publishing shows that people who volunteer regularly report lower levels of depression, higher self-esteem, and longer life expectancy. Helping others activates parts of the brain that release dopamine and oxytocin, which create feelings of happiness and calm.

The American Psychological Association notes that volunteering provides a sense of purpose and belonging, which improves mental health and reduces loneliness. It gives structure to your week, connects you to others, and reminds you that you are capable of making a difference.

Even physically, volunteering can be healthy. Activities like serving food, cleaning parks, or setting up events keep you active and engaged. They provide gentle exercise and social interaction, two key components of overall wellness.

Volunteering Builds Stronger Communities

When you volunteer, you help create a web of care that strengthens everyone. One person’s effort inspires another’s. A simple act like collecting coats for winter can spread warmth far beyond what you see.

The Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley found that volunteering creates a “helper’s high,” a feeling of joy that encourages continued acts of kindness. That positive energy is contagious. When one group serves, others follow. Communities built on volunteering tend to be safer, happier, and more resilient.

In my life, I have seen this happen again and again. Whether it was neighbors working together to feed families, church groups building ramps for seniors, or kids collecting toys for those in need, every project started with people who cared. Each small act built connection and trust. Volunteering reminds us that we are not alone and that together, we can solve big problems through small, steady efforts.

What You Can Try Today

If you want to volunteer but do not know where to start, here are a few ideas to help you take that first step.

Think about your strengths. What do you enjoy doing? Are you good with people, organizing, cooking, or creating? There is a need for every skill.
Start close to home. Ask your local church, school, or library if they need help.
Join a friend. Volunteering with others makes it less intimidating and more fun.
Try once. Even a one-day event can open your eyes to how rewarding it feels.
Make it family time. Bring your kids or grandkids. Volunteering together builds memories and values.
Look for online options. If you cannot get out, many organizations need virtual help with writing, mentoring, or organizing donations.
Create your own project. If you see a need that is not being met, gather a few people and start something. You might inspire others to do the same.

Volunteering is not about perfection or having extra time. It is about using the time you have to make a difference. Even small efforts add up. And when you look back, you will realize that while you were helping others, you were also building the best version of yourself.

Support on Your Journey

Self-discovery grows through doing. Each time you volunteer, you learn something about your character, your strengths, and your heart. You realize that kindness is not only what you give; it is who you are becoming.

Join our Groups and Neighbor Chat groups to share your volunteer stories and learn from others who are also building stronger communities. Together, we can celebrate the beauty of helping and inspire more people to step forward.

JOIN A GROUP

The next post in this series, “Complimenting Others: How Simple Words Can Change Someone’s Day,” will show how kindness through words can lift others while brightening your own life.

Volunteering is not just about what you do for others. It is about what happens inside you when you do.

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