What Does It Mean to Rebuild Trust in Yourself?
- Deborah Ann Martin
- Sep 12
- 5 min read
If you don’t believe in your own decisions anymore, this blog will help you understand why and what to do next.
Have you ever thought:
“I always mess things up.”
“I can’t even trust myself anymore.”
“I don’t even know what I want.”
Maybe you second-guess every decision, doubt your feelings, or feel stuck in life. You’re not alone, and you’re not broken. You’ve simply lost something most people don’t realize is important: self-trust.
In this blog, we’ll explore what it means to rebuild trust in yourself. You’ll learn how self-trust forms, why it breaks, and how its absence may be affecting your life right now. This isn’t about fixing everything today. It’s about understanding what’s going on inside you, so you can begin healing.
What Is Self-Trust?
Most people think of trust as something between two people. You trust friends who show up for you. You trust partners who keep promises. When someone betrays or disappoints you, that trust is broken.
But here’s something people don’t talk about: You have a relationship with yourself, too. And that relationship depends on trust.
To trust yourself means:
You believe your own feelings.
You feel confident making choices.
You rely on yourself to keep small promises.
You treat your thoughts with kindness instead of doubt.
When you lose that trust, life feels confusing, heavy, and disconnected. You stop believing in your own voice.
That’s why learning to rebuild trust in yourself matters. It’s not about perfection. It’s about feeling safe and supported inside your own mind.
Why Does Self-Trust Break?
If you’re struggling with self-trust, it’s not your fault. No one chooses to lose trust in themselves. It usually happens quietly, over time, as a way of surviving. Let’s look at common reasons why self-trust breaks:
1. Childhood Wounds
Maybe you grew up in an environment where emotions didn’t feel safe. Your caregivers might have dismissed your feelings, punished your honesty, or made you feel “wrong” for expressing yourself. Without realizing it, your brain began to learn: “I can’t trust what I feel.”
Perhaps you have often heard things like “You’re too sensitive” or “Stop crying.” Over time, those messages taught you that your emotions weren’t welcome — or worse, that they were a problem. You may have been ignored, silenced, or even punished for being honest about how you felt.
Eventually, your young brain came to a painful conclusion: “My feelings are wrong. I can’t trust myself.”
2. Emotional Damage in Adult Life
Relationships marked by betrayal, criticism, or emotional neglect can deeply damage your inner voice. When others constantly dismiss or minimize your thoughts and feelings, it’s easy to start believing them.
You may find yourself thinking: “I must be wrong. “I’m overreacting. “I can’t trust myself.”
Over time, toxic dynamics like these can make you question your own reality. If you were repeatedly told that your emotions didn’t matter—or that your perspective was flawed—you may have silenced your inner voice just to protect yourself from more hurt.
3. Breaking Promises to Yourself
How many times have you said:
“I’ll start tomorrow.”
“This time will be different.”
“I promise I won’t do that again.”
…only to fall back into old habits?
Each time you break a promise to yourself, it chips away at your self-trust. Eventually, your mind begins to believe:
“I don’t follow through.”
“I can’t trust myself.”
Your subconscious notices when you set goals but don’t follow through. And over time, it silently accepts a painful truth:
“I don’t keep promises to myself.”
4. Fear of Vulnerability
Being honest with yourself is scary. Feeling your feelings makes you vulnerable. If you weren’t taught how to handle vulnerability, your mind might block self-trust as a form of protection.
5. Emotional Survival Strategies
If being honest about your feelings once led to rejection or pain, your brain may have disconnected from self-trust to keep you “safe.” Sometimes, your mind may avoid trusting yourself as a form of self-protection.
How Losing Self-Trust Affects Your Life
When you don’t trust yourself, you feel stuck.
You might:
Overthink even small decisions.
You constantly seek advice, unsure of what you really think or feel.
You avoid setting goals—not because you don’t care, but because you’re afraid you’ll fail.
Ignore or doubt your feelings.
Criticize yourself more than you comfort yourself.
You second-guess even the smallest decisions.
You feel disconnected from your emotions, unsure whether to trust them.
When you make a mistake, your inner critic speaks louder than your inner comforter.
You break promises to yourself, and it chips away at your self-belief.
Even when you try, a quiet voice whispers: “You won’t succeed.”
Life starts to feel like a guessing game you can’t win. You lose confidence not just in choices, but in yourself as a person. This inner disconnection affects your mental health, relationships, and ability to move forward.
These are not failures. These are signs that your trust in yourself needs gentle repair.
The Relationship Analogy: You Are the Friend Who Left
Imagine a friend who constantly:
Ignores your feelings.
Breaks promises.
Judges you harshly.
Never apologizes.
Refuses to listen.
You’d stop trusting that friend, right?
In this case... that “friend” is you.
Self-trust breaks when you abandon your own needs, ignore your emotions, or judge yourself for being human. The good news? Just like a broken friendship, this relationship can be repaired with time, care, and consistency.
Why Rebuilding Trust in Yourself Feels Strange
If you’re thinking, “Why does this feel so hard?” you’re not alone.
Rebuilding self-trust feels strange because:
You’re both the person who was hurt... and the person who did the hurting.
No one teaches you how to have a healthy relationship with yourself.
Your mind has learned not to believe you, out of survival.
That’s why this work matters. Understanding what happened isn’t about blaming yourself. It’s about seeing the pattern, so you can choose differently.
Why Rebuilding Trust Takes Time
You wouldn’t repair trust with a friend overnight. You’d apologize. Show up. Prove you can be counted on. Rebuilding trust with yourself works the same way.
But unlike a friend, your inner self can’t leave. It’s waiting patiently for you to reconnect.
Learning how to:
Apologize to yourself.
Show yourself empathy.
Be honest about your feelings.
Keep consistent small promises.
Let yourself be vulnerable.
Forgive your past mistakes...
These are the tools that repair trust, not with anyone else, but with you. We’ll explore those steps in detail in the next blog.
For now, all you need to know is: healing is possible.
Support on Your Journey
Recognizing you’ve lost trust in yourself can feel overwhelming, but it’s also the start of healing. You don’t have to do this work alone.
If you’re unsure where to begin, consider booking a Next Step Coaching session. Together, we’ll talk through where you’re feeling stuck and choose simple, supportive actions to help you reconnect with yourself.
Learn more at www.survivinglifelessons.com. Healing starts with a conversation.
[Start Next Step Coaching – It’s your turn to come first.]
Healing & Journaling Tool: “The Pattern Ends With Me”
Prompt:
Reflect honestly as you write:
Do I trust myself to make decisions?
When did I first notice I stopped trusting my own feelings?
What’s one promise I’ve broken to myself recently?
Do I treat myself with criticism or kindness when I struggle?
What might change if I felt safe trusting myself again?
Let your answers flow without judgment.
(This will be saved to your journaling doc.)
You Deserve to Feel Safe Inside Your Mind
You weren’t meant to live in constant doubt. You were meant to feel safe inside yourself. Trust can be rebuilt, even after years of disconnection. It begins with understanding why it broke.
You are not lost. You are learning to come home to yourself.
Positive Affirmation: “I deserve to trust myself again.”
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