Spending Time with Family: How Shared Moments Build Connection and Joy
- Deborah Ann Martin
- Jan 16
- 5 min read
Updated: Jan 17
Spending time with family is my ultimate way of enjoying life. I love our holiday traditions, watching the kids’ games, celebrating their successes, and going to the playground just to see them laugh.
The best part for me is watching them have fun. There’s nothing quite like hearing children’s laughter or seeing your loved ones enjoying themselves. Those are the moments that remind me why life is worth living.
But family time isn’t always picture-perfect.
When the grandkids get tired and cranky, the joy can turn to fussing pretty quickly. That’s when I give my famous line: “If I’m not having fun, you’re not having fun.”
It’s said as a joke, but there’s truth in it. When the kids are fighting, crying, or exhausted, they aren’t having fun, and it’s hard for anyone else to enjoy the moment either. Usually, that’s the cue that we need a break, a snack, or a nap. Sometimes they realize it themselves and say, “Can we go home now, Memah?”
Those are the moments that remind me how much family time depends on patience, flexibility, and a sense of humor. I wish I had more.
Being Present, Not Perfect
We can’t always do what everyone wants. When you have kids and grandkids, someone is bound to be bored, hungry, or tired. I try to plan things I think everyone will enjoy, but moods change.
Still, I’ve learned that what matters most isn’t the activity, it’s the presence.
There are times I can’t physically do everything my family does. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be part of it. I can cheer from the sidelines, take pictures, or just enjoy the moment from where I sit.
Presence doesn’t always mean participation. It means being emotionally and mentally available. It’s about showing up, paying attention, and sharing time together, however that looks.
The Harvard Health Publishing team found that strong family connections contribute to longer life, better mental health, and higher overall happiness. Simply spending time together, even without doing anything grand, strengthens bonds that last a lifetime.
Family is not about how much you do; it’s about how deeply you connect.
Finding Joy in Simple Traditions
Some of my favorite memories come from simple family traditions, decorating for the holidays, cooking meals together, or playing games. These are the moments that shape our family stories.
Traditions don’t have to be elaborate. They just need to be consistent and full of heart. It could be pizza and movie night, backyard barbecues, or baking cookies at Christmas. These moments create a rhythm that gives families a sense of belonging.
The American Psychological Association explains that family rituals help reduce stress and increase resilience. Shared experiences, even small ones, remind us that we are not alone, that we are part of something bigger than ourselves.
Family time helps everyone slow down, reconnect, and recharge from the busyness of life.
Watching, Laughing, and Letting Go
One of my favorite parts of family life is watching my children and grandchildren laugh together. They have such a great sense of humor. Jokes fly around the room, and the teasing is good-natured and fun. I love that.
It’s during those moments of laughter that I see the heart of our family, love wrapped in humor. I may not always be able to join in the games, but I can be there to enjoy the atmosphere. Watching them brings me peace and happiness.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that joy sometimes comes from simply being a witness to others’ joy. Watching the people you love grow, laugh, and create memories is a blessing all on its own.
I used to think that family time meant doing everything together. Now I know that it means being together — whether that’s in conversation, laughter, or silence. It’s about connection, not activity.
Why Family Time Matters for the Soul
Spending time with family does more than make us happy. It heals us. The National Institutes of Health found that regular family interaction reduces loneliness, strengthens emotional resilience, and improves mood.
Family gives us a sense of identity. They remind us where we came from and who we are. When life gets tough, family provides the foundation to stand on. Whether it’s a phone call, a shared meal, or a day at the park, every moment spent together reinforces that bond.
And when the world feels chaotic, being surrounded by people who love you unconditionally brings calm and balance. Family is our built-in support system, the place where laughter can drown out life’s noise.
Making the Most of Family Moments
It’s easy to get caught up in schedules, school events, and responsibilities. Sometimes we forget to slow down and actually enjoy being together. Family time doesn’t have to be big or expensive. The best memories often come from simple moments.
Here are a few ways to make the most of your time with family:
Put down the phone. Be present. Real memories happen off-screen.
Plan a no-stress day. Choose something simple like a park, board games, or a backyard picnic.
Share stories. Tell old family stories or ask the kids to share theirs. Laughter always follows.
Be flexible. If things don’t go as planned, laugh about it. Imperfect moments make the best memories.
Celebrate small wins. It doesn’t have to be a big holiday to have a family gathering. Celebrate everyday life.
The Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley notes that shared laughter releases endorphins that strengthen emotional connection. The more families laugh together, the more bonded they feel.
The Self-Discovery of Family Time
Spending time with family teaches us about who we are. It shows us our strengths, our patience, and even our limits. It reminds us that love isn’t about perfection, it’s about showing up again and again.
When I spend time with my children and grandchildren, I see myself in them. I see my mother’s warmth, my father’s humor, and pieces of my own journey. Family time grounds me. It reminds me that no matter what life brings, there is always love waiting at home.
Sometimes self-discovery isn’t about being alone. Sometimes it’s about seeing yourself reflected in the people you love most.
What You Can Try Today
Schedule family time. Even an hour together makes a difference.
Do something simple. Go for a walk, cook together, or play cards.
Be flexible with plans. Focus on connection, not perfection.
Start a tradition. Something small but consistent, like Sunday breakfast or a yearly trip.
Laugh often. Don’t underestimate the power of humor to heal and unite.
When you choose to be present with your family, you’re not just building memories, you’re building love that lasts through generations.
Support on Your Journey
Family time reminds us that joy doesn’t come from doing everything right, it comes from being together. The laughter, the chaos, and even the occasional fussing are all part of the story.
In our Neighbor Chat, we often talk about how meaningful connections start at home. When you nurture those relationships, you strengthen the foundation of who you are.
The next post in this series, “Practicing Forgiveness: How Letting Go Frees Your Mind and Heart,” will explore how forgiveness within families and friendships can bring peace and healing.
Because when you spend time with the people who make you laugh, you rediscover the best parts of yourself.
References
Harvard Health Publishing. “The Importance of Strong Family Bonds.” https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/the-importance-of-strong-family-bonds
American Psychological Association. “Family Rituals Build Resilience.” https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2019/12/family-rituals
National Institutes of Health. “Family Connection and Mental Health.” https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2020/05/family-connection-mental-health
Greater Good Science Center, UC Berkeley. “How Laughter Brings People Together.” https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_laughter_brings_people_together
Pew Research Center. “Family Life and Satisfaction.” https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/04/11/family-life-and-satisfaction/
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