Why I Believe in SMART Goals
Updated: 3 days ago
How Small Steps Helped Me Survive Life, Rebuild, and Keep Going
I did not learn about SMART goals in a book and decide to try them one day. I learned them by living them. This is why I believe in SMART goals.
Long before I knew there was a name for it, I understood one truth very early in life. If I tried to fix everything at once, I shut down. If I broke things into small, manageable steps, I could keep going.
That understanding shaped my career, my survival through divorce, my recovery from financial loss, my life with cancer, and ultimately the foundation of Surviving Life Lessons.
This is not a story about overnight success. It is a story about learning how to move forward when life does not give you easy options.
Why I Believe in SMART Goals: Big Goals Require Small Steps
I have had a diverse career path. I earned my MBA. I worked in different roles and industries. From the outside, it might look like I always knew where I was going.
The truth is, I knew very early that I could not tackle life all at once.
I learned that failure was not proof that I was incapable. It was information. Much like the story of Edison and the light bulb, each attempt that did not work taught me something about what would work next.
That mindset saved me more times than I can count.
No One Pats You on the Back for Survival
One of the hardest lessons I learned is that people rarely celebrate your effort.
They assume:
It is your job
It is expected
You should just “handle it.”
When you are goal-oriented, people often see the outcome but not the work. They do not see the nights you kept going when no one was watching. They do not see the small steps that held everything together.
Accomplishing small goals became my way of creating my own personal internal validation. If I could knock out one small thing in a day or a week, that was enough. That progress made me feel good.
Even though I didn't get the pat on the back, I did my best and accomplished those goals for myself.
Divorce, Debt, and Rebuilding From Nothing
After my divorce, I lost everything.
I was buried in debt. My credit was destroyed. I had to move to another state for a job where I knew no one. The weight of it all was overwhelming. If I had looked at the total picture, I would have shut down completely.
So I did what I had always done.
I broke it down.
I focused on:
one bill
one payment
one decision at a time
one emotional healing
one new job learning skill
one moving to a new state task
There was no magic moment. No sudden turnaround. Just steady, consistent progress.
Today, my credit score tells that story quietly. It was not built through panic or pressure. It was built through patience and small, intentional steps.
Cancer Taught Me What Control Really Means
Cancer changed how I view control.
There are things I cannot control.
There are outcomes I cannot force.
There are days when my body decides the pace for me.
SMART goals helped me shift focus from what I cannot control to what I can.
I cannot control everything about cancer.
But I can:
manage appointments
track medications
care for my energy
pace my work
honor my limits
That perspective keeps me grounded instead of overwhelmed.
Writing, Working, and Building Surviving Life Lessons
Surviving Life Lessons is not making money.
My books are not making money.
The website does not pay the bills.
My full-time job does.
And that is okay.
Because I am building this the same way I have built everything else in my life. One small step at a time.
I am not trying to write an entire book in a day.
I am not trying to build a massive platform overnight.
I am chipping away at small pieces whenever I can.
A paragraph.
A page.
A post.
A lesson.
Over time, those small steps become something real.
Why I Use Business Frameworks in Real Life
Some people ask why I bring business concepts like SMART goals into personal life.
My answer is simple.
Why wouldn’t we?
The business world learned long ago that:
Large problems require structure
Progress must be measurable
Burnout destroys outcomes
Small wins build momentum
Life is more complex than business.
Why would we use less structure, not more?
SMART goals are not about productivity.
They are about survival, clarity, and forward motion.
Personal Satisfaction Comes From Progress, Not Perfection
I keep big goals in mind.
But I do not live in them.
If I can accomplish:
One small task today
One meaningful step this week
One piece of progress this month
That is enough.
That brings me happiness.
Not because everything is solved, but because I am moving forward.
Learning to Stop Being My Own Harshest Critic
For a long time, I was my biggest critic.
When I failed at something, I did not see it as a normal part of learning or growth. I saw it as proof that I was not good enough, not smart enough, or not doing enough. I carried that weight quietly, assuming everyone else handled failure better than I did.
What I eventually realized is that I was learning the wrong lesson from failure.
Failure was not telling me I was incapable.
It was teaching me what did not work.
Once I allowed myself to see failure as information instead of judgment, everything changed.
Failure Taught Me More Than Success Ever Did
Success feels good, but it rarely teaches you much. When something works easily, you move on without examining the process.
Failure forces reflection.
Every time something did not work, I learned:
Where my limits were
What assumptions had I made
What needed to be adjusted
What pace was more realistic
I learned far more by failing and refining than I ever did by getting things right the first time.
This is why I connect so strongly with the story of people like Edison and others who failed repeatedly before succeeding. They were not failing. They were testing, learning, and adapting.
That is exactly how SMART goals work when used correctly.
Learning to Be Kinder to Myself Changed Everything
One of the most important lessons I learned was how to talk to myself differently.
Instead of saying: “I failed again.”
I started asking: “What did I learn from this?”
Instead of beating myself up for not meeting a goal, I learned to pause and adjust it. If a goal was too big, I broke it down further. If it did not fit my life, I changed the approach.
That kindness did not make me weaker.
It made me consistent.
When I stopped punishing myself for not being perfect, I started making steady progress.
Why This Matters for Anyone Using SMART Goals
This is why I emphasize that SMART goals are not about rigid checklists or pressure.
They are about learning.
If a SMART goal does not work:
It does not mean you failed
It means the goal needs refining
It means you are learning your limits
It means you are gathering information
That mindset protects self-worth and keeps people moving forward.
The Lesson I Want Others to Learn Faster Than I Did
I wish I had learned earlier that being hard on myself never made me better. It only made me tired.
Growth happened when I allowed myself to:
learn from mistakes
adjust without shame
Take smaller steps
celebrate effort, not just outcomes
Failure was never the enemy.
Self-criticism was.
Once I learned to be kinder to myself, failure stopped feeling like the end and started feeling like part of the process.
And that lesson is at the heart of everything I teach through SMART goals and Surviving Life Lessons.
Why I Want Others to Learn This Too
We all have major problems.
We all get stressed.
We all face moments where life feels too big.
What I want people to understand is this.
You do not need to solve everything to move forward.
If we can take proven techniques from the business world and apply them to real life, mental health, healing, and growth, why would we not?
SMART goals are not about pressure.
They are about permission to take life one small step at a time.
What Are SMART Goals?
SMART goals are a simple way to take something that feels too big and break it into small steps you can actually do. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound.
Specific: You know exactly what you will do.
Measurable: You can count it, check it off, or see that it happened.
Achievable: It fits the time, energy, money, and support you have right now.
Relevant: It matters to you and moves you toward what you want.
Time-bound: It has a clear window, like today, this week, or the next fourteen days.
I believe in SMART goals because those five questions helped me survive seasons when everything felt out of my control. They turned impossible situations into one next step I could actually take.
How I Broke My Own Big Problems Into Small Steps
People sometimes think that small steps only work for small problems. In my life, the opposite has been true. The bigger the problem, the more I needed to break it down. Here is what that looked like.
Rebuilding After Divorce
The big problem: I had to rebuild my whole life after more than twenty years of marriage.
The smaller problem: I needed to know if I could support myself.
The small step: I wrote down every bill, every debt, and every dollar coming in.
The SMART goal: List every bill and due date by the end of the weekend, then review it every Sunday for a month.
Facing Debt
The big problem: I owed more than I could pay.
The smaller problem: I did not know where to start.
The small step: I picked one debt to focus on first.
The SMART goal: Make one extra small payment on that debt each month, while paying the minimums on everything else.
Going Through Cancer Treatment
The big problem: My health, my energy, and my future all felt uncertain.
The smaller problem: I could not control the cancer, but I could control how I prepared.
The small step: I wrote my questions down before every appointment.
The SMART goal: Bring a written list of questions to every appointment this month, and rest for twenty minutes after each one.
Building Surviving Life Lessons
The big problem: I wanted to build a website and community to help people.
The smaller problem: I did not know how to do all of it.
The small step: I worked on one piece at a time, like one page or one blog post.
The SMART goal: Finish one blog post or one page section every few days, even from the couch on low-energy days.
None of these steps fixed everything. But every one of them gave me back a little control, and a little satisfaction, at a time when I needed it most.
How You Can Find Your Own Small Steps
Your story is not my story, and your steps will not look exactly like mine. Here is how to look at your own life and make your big problem smaller:
Write the big problem down in one sentence.
List the pieces that make it up, like money, time, people, health, or feelings.
Pick the piece that affects your day the most.
Ask, "What is one thing I could do about this in the next week?"
Ask, "Could I do this on my worst day?" If not, shrink it.
Give it a number and a time frame.
If you get stuck, ask someone else how they handled something similar. You may be surprised how often another person's small step becomes the key that unlocks yours.
Is Your Goal Realistic and Relevant?
The goals in this article are examples, not rules. My small steps came from my own life with divorce, debt, and cancer. Yours will come from your life. Look at your own life and see if there are other ways to break your own big problems down that fit you better.
Check Every Goal Against Your Life
Before you start, ask yourself:
Is this step small enough to do even on a hard day?
Did I give myself enough time to finish it?
Does it fit my health, money, and energy right now?
Does it move me toward the life I want?
If a Goal Isn't Working, It's the Process, Not You
Missing a goal does not mean you are a failure. Usually the goal was not broken down enough, the time frame was too short, or a crisis changed your plans. That is a problem with the plan, and plans can be fixed.
Make it smaller: Shrink the step until it feels doable.
Give it more time: Give yourself more weeks, not more pressure.
Change the how: If it is not working, try a different method or ask for support.
You can also ask others what has helped them. That is why we have free community groups, where people share their overcoming stories and practical advice.
Measuring Time: Try It, Then Adjust
Every SMART goal needs a time frame, but the right time frame looks different for different goals. Some goals work daily, some weekly, and some are one-time tasks with a deadline.
Try your time frame for a week or two. If you keep missing it, that does not mean you failed. It means the time frame may not be realistic yet. Change it. Make it shorter, less frequent, or more flexible. I have adjusted my own goals more times than I can count, and every adjustment taught me something about my limits and my strengths.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do you believe in SMART goals so strongly?
Because they helped me get through divorce, debt, single parenting, and cancer by breaking each overwhelming situation into small, controllable steps.
Can SMART goals help with emotional or personal problems, not just work?
Yes. SMART goals work for health, money, relationships, healing, and personal growth, as long as the steps are small and kind.
What if my situation feels too big for small steps?
That is exactly when small steps matter most. Start with one tiny piece you can control.
Final Thought: SMART goals in real life
You are not failing because you cannot handle the big picture.
You are human.
Break it down.
Take the next step.
Learn from what does not work.
Celebrate what does.
That is how I survived life.
That is why Surviving Life Lessons exists.
And that is why SMART goals are at the foundation of everything I do.
Where to Go From Here
Small steps are easier to take when you are surrounded by people who understand. At Surviving Life Lessons, we believe in life survivors helping life strugglers. Our Personal Growth and Healing group is a place to share your own story of rebuilding, and our Motivation & Mindset group helps you keep going when progress feels slow. You can also browse our Community Groups Catalog to find every group that fits where you are right now.
Next, read SMART Goals for Beginners: A Simple Starter Guide or Break Big Problems Into Small Steps: The SMART Goals Guide.
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References
Locke, E. A., & Latham, G. P. Building a Practically Useful Theory of Goal Setting and Task Motivation. American Psychologist, 2002. psych.umn.edu
American Psychological Association. Building Your Resilience. apa.org
University of Michigan Department of Psychology. To Solve Big Problems, Look for Small Wins. lsa.umich.edu
About the Author:
Deborah Ann Martin is the founder of Surviving Life Lessons, a published author, poet, speaker, and trainer with over 20 years of management experience across multiple industries. An MBA graduate, U.S. veteran, single mother, and rare cancer survivor, Deborah brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her writing on resilience, leadership, personal growth, and overcoming adversity. Her mission is to empower others with practical wisdom and real-life insight to navigate life’s challenges with strength and purpose.
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