Why I Believe in SMART Goals
- Deborah Ann Martin
- 4 days ago
- 6 min read
How Small Steps Helped Me Survive Life, Rebuild, and Keep Going
I did not learn about SMART goals in a book and decide to try them one day. I learned them by living them.
Long before I knew there was a name for it, I understood one truth very early in life. If I tried to fix everything at once, I shut down. If I broke things into small, manageable steps, I could keep going.
That understanding shaped my career, my survival through divorce, my recovery from financial loss, my life with cancer, and ultimately the foundation of Surviving Life Lessons.
This is not a story about overnight success. It is a story about learning how to move forward when life does not give you easy options.
Learning Early That Big Goals Require Small Steps
I have had a diverse career path. I earned my MBA. I worked in different roles and industries. From the outside, it might look like I always knew where I was going.
The truth is, I knew very early that I could not tackle life all at once.
I learned that failure was not proof that I was incapable. It was information. Much like the story of Edison and the light bulb, each attempt that did not work taught me something about what would work next.
That mindset saved me more times than I can count.
No One Pats You on the Back for Survival
One of the hardest lessons I learned is that people rarely celebrate your effort.
They assume:
It is your job
It is expected
You should just “handle it”
When you are goal-oriented, people often see the outcome but not the work. They do not see the nights you kept going when no one was watching. They do not see the small steps that held everything together.
Accomplishing small goals became my way of creating my own personal internal validation. If I could knock out one small thing in a day or a week, that was enough. That progress brought me feel good.
Even though I didn't get the pat on the back, I did my best and accomplished those goals for me.
Divorce, Debt, and Rebuilding From Nothing
After my divorce, I lost everything.
I was buried in debt. My credit was destroyed. I had to move to another state for a job where I knew no one. The weight of it all was overwhelming. If I had looked at the total picture, I would have shut down completely.
So I did what I had always done.
I broke it down.
I focused on:
one bill
one payment
one decision at a time
one emotional healing
one new job learning skill
one moving to a new state task
There was no magic moment. No sudden turnaround. Just steady, consistent progress.
Today, my credit score tells that story quietly. It was not built through panic or pressure. It was built through patience and small, intentional steps.
Cancer Taught Me What Control Really Means
Cancer changed how I view control.
There are things I cannot control.
There are outcomes I cannot force.
There are days when my body decides the pace for me.
SMART goals helped me shift focus from what I cannot control to what I can.
I cannot control everything about cancer.
But I can:
manage appointments
track medications
care for my energy
pace my work
honor my limits
That perspective keeps me grounded instead of overwhelmed.
Writing, Working, and Building Surviving Life Lessons
Surviving Life Lessons is not making money.
My books are not making money.
The website does not pay the bills.
My full-time job does.
And that is okay.
Because I am building this the same way I have built everything else in my life. One small step at a time.
I am not trying to write an entire book in a day.
I am not trying to build a massive platform overnight.
I am chipping away at small pieces whenever I can.
A paragraph.
A page.
A post.
A lesson.
Over time, those small steps become something real.
Why I Use Business Frameworks in Real Life
Some people ask why I bring business concepts like SMART goals into personal life.
My answer is simple.
Why wouldn’t we?
The business world learned long ago that:
large problems require structure
progress must be measurable
burnout destroys outcomes
small wins build momentum
Life is more complex than business.
Why would we use less structure, not more?
SMART goals are not about productivity.
They are about survival, clarity, and forward motion.
Personal Satisfaction Comes From Progress, Not Perfection
I keep big goals in mind.
But I do not live in them.
If I can accomplish:
one small task today
one meaningful step this week
one piece of progress this month
That is enough.
That brings me happiness.
Not because everything is solved, but because I am moving forward.
Learning to Stop Being My Own Harshest Critic
For a long time, I was my biggest critic.
When I failed at something, I did not see it as a normal part of learning or growth. I saw it as proof that I was not good enough, not smart enough, or not doing enough. I carried that weight quietly, assuming everyone else handled failure better than I did.
What I eventually realized is that I was learning the wrong lesson from failure.
Failure was not telling me I was incapable.
It was teaching me what did not work.
Once I allowed myself to see failure as information instead of judgment, everything changed.
Failure Taught Me More Than Success Ever Did
Success feels good, but it rarely teaches you much. When something works easily, you move on without examining the process.
Failure forces reflection.
Every time something did not work, I learned:
where my limits were
what assumptions I had made
what needed to be adjusted
what pace was more realistic
I learned far more by failing and refining than I ever did by getting things right the first time.
This is why I connect so strongly with the story of people like Edison and others who failed repeatedly before succeeding. They were not failing. They were testing, learning, and adapting.
That is exactly how SMART goals work when used correctly.
Learning to Be Kinder to Myself Changed Everything
One of the most important lessons I learned was how to talk to myself differently.
Instead of saying:“I failed again.”
I started asking:“What did I learn from this?”
Instead of beating myself up for not meeting a goal, I learned to pause and adjust it. If a goal was too big, I broke it down further. If it did not fit my life, I changed the approach.
That kindness did not make me weaker.
It made me consistent.
When I stopped punishing myself for not being perfect, I started making steady progress.
Why This Matters for Anyone Using SMART Goals
This is why I emphasize that SMART goals are not about rigid checklists or pressure.
They are about learning.
If a SMART goal does not work:
it does not mean you failed
it means the goal needs refining
it means you are learning your limits
it means you are gathering information
That mindset protects self-worth and keeps people moving forward.
The Lesson I Want Others to Learn Faster Than I Did
I wish I had learned earlier that being hard on myself never made me better. It only made me tired.
Growth happened when I allowed myself to:
learn from mistakes
adjust without shame
take smaller steps
celebrate effort, not just outcomes
Failure was never the enemy.
Self-criticism was.
Once I learned to be kinder to myself, failure stopped feeling like the end and started feeling like part of the process.
And that lesson is at the heart of everything I teach through SMART goals and Surviving Life Lessons.
Why I Want Others to Learn This Too
We all have major problems.
We all get stressed.
We all face moments where life feels too big.
What I want people to understand is this.
You do not need to solve everything to move forward.
If we can take proven techniques from the business world and apply them to real life, mental health, healing, and growth, why would we not?
SMART goals are not about pressure.
They are about permission to take life one small step at a time.
Final Thought: SMART goals real life
You are not failing because you cannot handle the big picture.
You are human.
Break it down.
Take the next step.
Learn from what does not work.
Celebrate what does.
That is how I survived life.
That is why Surviving Life Lessons exists.
And that is why SMART goals are at the foundation of everything I do.
When You Want Support Beyond This Post
If you need more than reflection, these options are here to support you.
Neighbor Chat
A safe, welcoming space to talk about anything on your mind. No fixing, no pressure, just connection and understanding.
Next Step Coaching
Support focused on breaking life challenges into smaller SMART goals so you can move forward with clarity and less overwhelm.
Community Group
A supportive group space to connect with others navigating similar challenges and life transitions.
You are welcome to choose the support that fits your needs right now.
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