Living With Anxiety: How to Stop Spinning and Start Calming Your Mind

If your brain won’t stop racing and your chest feels tight all the time—you’re not broken. You’re anxious. And there are ways to breathe again.

Let’s be honest. Living with anxiety doesn’t always look like full-blown panic attacks or shaking in a corner. Sometimes, it looks like irritability. Sometimes, it’s a racing mind that won’t shut off. Sometimes, it’s your stomach turning when there’s nothing wrong—except everything.

Anxiety hides well. It can wear the mask of high achievement, people-pleasing, over-apologizing, or silence. You can be smiling and still feel like you're drowning inside.

Healing doesn’t happen all at once—it’s shaped slowly, like clay.

My Story: When I Didn't Know It Was Anxiety

For years, I didn’t even realize I had anxiety. I thought I was just stressed, busy, or maybe too sensitive.

But underneath it all was a constant hum—this feeling:

That something bad might happen. How can I stop it? If it does happen, what will it cost me? Can I soften the blow so it doesn’t hurt my family? What if I can’t stretch this budget and an emergency comes up—then what? No groceries? A cut-off notice?

That I wasn’t doing enough. How do I fix my marriage? How do I help my kids through school, friendships, and life? How do I support a husband who won’t support himself? How do I serve God in the middle of this mess? How do I keep the house clean like my mom insisted, work full-time, manage homework, and still get the kids to sports and school activities?

That I might fail. Am I doing everything I can to be a good mom? A good wife? A good employee? Am I learning enough, growing enough?

That someone might leave. Boyfriends did. My husband did. And now, two of my four children haven’t spoken to me in over a year.

That I might never be safe. There was a man who tried to break down my front door after my divorce. I was home alone. The kids were away. I was terrified.

And while all of that stormed inside me, I wore a mask of strength on the outside. I had to. For everyone around me, I was the strong one. I held it together in front of people, but when I was alone—I’d break. I’d sit at the bottom of a hot shower and let the water pour over me until it turned cold. That was my release. Then I’d get out, dry off, and go back to being strong again.

I’ve always had to walk on eggshells around my family. If I tried to express how I felt, I was accused of being passive-aggressive. So I stopped saying what I needed to say.

The only place I could be fully me—vulnerable, emotional, honest—was with my three lifetime best friends. With them, I didn’t have to pretend. I could fall apart, cry, vent, question everything, and know they’d still love me when I was done.

When I had to rebuild my life after divorce, the anxiety got heavier. When I was diagnosed with cancer, it got louder.

Anxiety is something I had to name and manage on my own. When it overwhelmed me, I learned to talk it out with those trusted friends. I had to say with my voice what was spinning in my head. I needed to get it out.

Over time, I’ve learned how to quiet it:

By praying.

By handing what I can’t control over to God.

By doing something I enjoy, even if it’s small.

By refusing to carry it all alone.

Signs You Might Be Living With Anxiety

Living with anxiety doesn’t always look like what people expect.

You might be dealing with anxiety if:

• You overthink everything, even small decisions

• You think about something in your head over and over

• You avoid things you used to enjoy

• You replay conversations in your head, wondering if you said something wrong

• You constantly feel like something bad is going to happen

• You have trouble sleeping, or you wake up feeling already tired

• You feel edgy, irritable, or like you're going to cry at any moment

If any of these feel familiar, know this: you're not alone, and you're not weak.

What Anxiety Actually Is (And What It Isn't)

Anxiety is not weakness. It’s not attention-seeking. It’s not "just stress."

Anxiety is your brain and body reacting as if there’s danger—even when there isn’t. It’s your nervous system stuck in high alert. And it makes your body do things you can’t logic your way out of.

Living with anxiety can cause:

• Tight chest or difficulty breathing

• Racing thoughts or "looping" worry

• Trouble concentrating or memory issues

• Upset stomach, headaches, and muscle tension

You’re not imagining it. Your body and brain are doing exactly what they were designed to do—protect you. They just need help turning the alarm down.

Tools That Help When Anxiety Takes Over

You won’t get rid of anxiety overnight. But there are things you can do that help turn the volume down.

Try:

• Grounding exercises. Look around and name 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste.

• Breathing techniques. Try inhaling for 4 seconds, holding for 4, and exhaling for 6.

• Naming the fear. Ask yourself: "What am I really afraid of? Is this fear true, or just familiar?"

• Journaling. Get it out of your head and onto paper. You’ll be surprised what patterns show up.

• Soaking in a hot bath, low light, candles and soft classical music... focus on the music.

• Take a walk and look to around and spot items you didn't see before. Be in the moment.

• In the comments- put other ways that you have calmed down your anxiety in the chat or go to our Groups and tell your story. This will help others.

These small acts remind your nervous system that it’s safe to come down. And over time, they become a bridge back to peace.

Support on Your Journey

Anxiety can make you feel like you're too much or not enough—sometimes both at the same time. That's why I offer Neighbor Talk Coaching, a gentle space to talk through what you're feeling without pressure or judgment.

You don’t have to explain it perfectly. Just show up. You deserve to be heard and supported, right where you are.

FOR MORE INFORMATION

[Book a Neighbor Talk Coaching Session Now]

Healing & Journaling Tool: "My Anxiety Has a Voice"

Prompt: Write a letter to your anxiety. Let it speak. Then answer back.

What does it say when it shows up? What is it trying to protect you from? What do you want it to know?

This tool helps you externalize anxiety so you can see it as a messenger, not a master.

(This prompt will be added to your journal doc.)

You Are Not Your Anxiety

You are not your fear. You are not your panic. You are not your diagnosis.

You are a whole, capable person who happens to be living with anxiety. And that means healing is possible.

You can calm your mind. You can breathe again. You can live fully.

Keep going. You’re doing better than you think.