Living Authentically — Finding Freedom in Being Yourself
- Deborah Ann Martin
- Nov 9
- 4 min read
Updated: Nov 13
For most of my life, I tried to fit in. I wanted people to like me, to accept me, and to see that I belonged. I adjusted my words, my schedule, my interests—whatever I needed to do to be included.
But the truth was, I wasn’t fitting in—I was shrinking in.
It took me a long time to realize that when you spend your life molding yourself into what others expect, you lose the parts that make you feel alive.
When I started living authentically—being honest about who I am, what I enjoy, and what I value—everything changed. I stopped chasing acceptance and started attracting the right people into my life.
The Cost of Trying to Fit In
Trying to fit in all the time is exhausting. You end up saying yes when you want to say no, laughing at things that don’t really make you laugh, and spending time in places that drain you.
And then you go home wondering why you feel so empty.
Fitting in means changing yourself to belong. Authentic living means being yourself and finding where you naturally belong.
When I stopped trying to impress people who didn’t share my heart, I realized something powerful it’s not about fitting in; it’s about standing where you fit.
Discovering the Real You
When I started living authentically, I had to get clear on what I actually liked. I realized that a lot of what I did before was out of habit or to make someone else happy.
I started asking myself:
What makes me feel peaceful?
What activities make me lose track of time?
Who do I feel calm and comfortable around?
Those questions changed everything. They helped me rebuild my life around who I really am instead of who I thought I had to be.
Choosing People Who Fit Your Soul
When you live authentically, you stop begging to be included in rooms that don’t value you. You start finding people who light up when you walk in, not people who tolerate your presence.
The friendships and relationships I have now feel so much easier. There’s no pretending, no pressure, no walking on eggshells. We share the same values and interests, so being together feels natural.
When you’re real, you attract real.
Faith and Authentic Living
My faith played a huge part in learning to be myself. I believe God made each of us unique for a reason. Trying to be someone else is like telling Him He made a mistake—and I know He didn’t.
When I stopped comparing and started embracing the person He created, I found peace. I no longer needed everyone to understand me, because I knew the One who did.
What Living Authentically Looks Like
Saying no when something doesn’t align with your values.
Spending time with people who make you feel at ease.
Doing the things that make you lose track of time.
Dressing in a way that makes you feel comfortable.
Speaking your truth with kindness, not fear.
Letting go of perfection and embracing progress.
Allowing others to see your real emotions.
Accepting that not everyone will like you—and being okay with that.
What You Can Try Today
Make a list of five things that make you genuinely happy.
Write down one area where you’ve been pretending just to fit in.
Spend time with someone who lets you be yourself.
Try one activity you’ve always wanted to do but never made time for.
Reflect on what values matter most to you.
Journal about what the “real you” looks and feels like.
Say no to something today that doesn’t feel right.
Compliment yourself for one unique thing about you.
Pray or meditate for the courage to live truthfully.
End the day by saying, “I am enough just as I am.”
Final Thoughts
Living authentically isn’t about changing who you are it’s about finally being who you are.
When you stop chasing approval, you create space for genuine connection. When you live by your own values, life feels lighter and relationships become easier.
You don’t need to fit someone else’s mold to belong. You belong exactly where you’re being your truest self.
That’s where peace lives. That’s where joy begins.
♥
Support on Your Journey
If you’d like connection and encouragement, I invite you to become part of the survivinglifelessons community groups where we share openly, support one another, and walk this journey together. You don’t have to do this alone.
Also, if you ever need someone to talk with —just a friendly ear, not a counselor —check out our Neighbor Chat service. This is a place where people listen, share, and connect about whatever topic is on your mind every day. Because sometimes all you need is to simply be heard.
So here’s to you—the person showing up for themselves, step by step. Here’s to the friend you are becoming to yourself. The journey won’t always be easy. But it will always be worth it. And I’ll be cheering you on every step of the way.
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