Holidays After Divorce: Coping with Social Media and Feeling Left Out
- Deborah Ann Martin
- Dec 29, 2025
- 5 min read
When everyone else looks picture-perfect—and you’re just trying to hold it together. (Holidays After Divorce Social Media)
The holiday scroll hits hard.
Smiling families in matching pajamas. Couples kissing under the mistletoe. Perfectly decorated tables. Captions about gratitude, joy, and “our best Christmas ever.”
And there you are alone on the couch, reheating leftovers, trying not to cry, and wondering, “Why does it seem like everyone else is happy except me?”
It’s a familiar feeling. But here’s the truth:
You’re not broken. You’re not failing.
You’re just in a season of rebuilding while the world keeps posting like nothing changed.
The Lie of the Highlight Reel
Social media is a filter. A carefully curated highlight reel. It’s not real life. It doesn’t show the tension before that family photo, the credit card debt behind those gifts, or the tears behind the smiles.
We all know this deep down but when we’re hurting, it’s easy to forget.
You’re comparing your messy, real life your healing, your challenges to someone else’s edited moment.
That’s not a fair fight.
Why It Hurts So Much After Divorce
Divorce already makes you feel different. The holidays magnify that difference. Everywhere you look, there’s a reminder of the life you used to have. The life that’s now split in two.
You scroll through posts and see your ex smiling with someone new. You see mutual friends who didn’t invite you. You see family members celebrating without you. And you can’t help but wonder, “Does anyone even notice I’m missing?”
The pain isn’t just about envy. It’s about invisibility. About feeling erased from the life you used to be a part of.
But here’s something important to keep in mind: The holiday posts you see are not the full story. You’re seeing only the parts that people want you to see. Everyone has struggles.
Signs It’s Time to Step Back From the Scroll
Ask yourself:
Do you feel worse after being on social media?
Are you doom-scrolling to escape your own pain?
Do you feel jealous, angry, or ashamed of your own life after seeing others’ posts?
Are you checking to see if your ex or their new partner mentioned the kids or you?
If any of these resonate, it might be time to take a break or reframe how you engage with social media.
5 Ways to Cope When the Scroll Steals Your Joy
1. Set Time Limits (or Take a Break Entirely)
You don’t owe the internet your attention. It’s okay to step back, especially if it’s causing emotional pain.
Try:
Logging out of apps during the holidays
Deleting apps for a weekend or week
Using screen-time limits to give yourself a break
Replacing the urge to scroll with something grounding—like going for a walk, journaling, or calling a friend
2. Curate Your Feed
You control what you see. Use that power. Mute, unfollow, or hide posts that trigger sadness, comparison, or resentment even if just temporarily.
Fill your feed with:
Encouraging creators
Divorce support accounts
Funny or comforting content
Uplifting quotes or holiday ideas that fit your life now
3. Talk About What You’re Feeling
You’re not the only one feeling left out. Social media makes it seem like everyone else has it together, but in reality, many are struggling in silence.
Reach out to a friend, a support group, or an online community. Share, “This is hard. I feel invisible.” Opening up and being vulnerable connects you with others who understand what you’re going through.
4. Create Your Moments—Even if No One Else Sees Them
Your life doesn’t need to be shared to be meaningful. Create moments for yourself that are about you and your healing—not about the validation of social media.
Light a candle.
Bake cookies.
Watch your favorite movie.
Snap a photo for yourself—not for posting.
You can even create a holiday ritual that’s just for you.
Your holiday doesn’t have to be public to be powerful.
5. Remind Yourself: This Season Isn’t Your Whole Story
This is just one December in a long life. It doesn’t define you. You are in the middle, not at the end. Better seasons are coming.
The pain of the moment doesn’t last forever. And when you look back, you’ll see the progress you made, even if it feels invisible right now.
When It’s About the Ex
Sometimes, the pain of the holiday scroll gets sharper when you see your ex:
Posting about their new relationship
Sharing pics of your kids you didn’t know were taken
Getting praise from others who don’t know the full story
Here’s what to remember:
Their posts don’t prove they’re happy.
Their new life doesn’t erase the pain they caused.
Their version online isn’t the full truth.
It’s okay to unfollow, block, or mute—not out of pettiness, but out of a desire for peace.
You don’t need to constantly see the life they’re curating, especially if it’s causing you pain.
Final Thoughts: Creating Peace in the Chaos
Social media can be a double-edged sword.
It has the potential to make us feel connected and informed,
but it also has the ability to make us feel isolated, left out, and unimportant.
The key to surviving the holiday scroll is not in making it go away it’s in taking control over how you engage with it.
Protect your peace. Curate your feed. Take breaks when you need to. And remember: you are not invisible. Your journey is valuable, your healing is powerful, and the life you’re building is worth celebrating whether or not you post it on social media.
This season doesn’t define you. You are building something new. And next year, you may look back at the posts from this year and see how far you’ve come.
So let the highlight reels keep rolling. You’ve got your own story to live, and it’s better than any filtered post.
What You Can Try Today
As you navigate through the holidays, try one or more of the suggestions below:
Unfollow 3 accounts that trigger sadness or comparison.
Write down 3 things that are good in your life—no matter how small.
Post something real (if you want) a moment of honesty, gratitude, or rebuilding.
Replace 15 minutes of scrolling with a walk, call, or journal entry.
Say this to yourself: “I’m not behind. I’m healing.”
You’re Not Alone in This
The holiday season can feel brutal when you're scrolling through perfection and living through heartbreak. But what you're building—slowly, painfully, honestly—is real.
Your growth isn’t picture-perfect, but it’s powerful.
At Surviving Life Lessons, we’re walking with you. Join our community where we talk about the hard stuff, celebrate small wins, and don’t need filters to feel seen.
Wix Blog Metadata (SEO)
Focus Keyword: holidays after divorce social media
Title Tag: Holidays After Divorce: Coping With Social Media and Feeling Left Out
URL Slug: holidays-after-divorce-social-media
Meta Description: Social media during the holidays can magnify grief and loneliness. Learn how to manage comparison, protect your peace, and focus on your healing journey.
Tags: holidays after divorce, social media comparison, post-divorce loneliness, rebuilding after divorce, emotional healing, Surviving Life Lessons
Excerpt: Social media doesn’t tell the whole story—but it can make you feel like you’re the only one hurting. Here’s how to protect your peace during the holidays.
Suggested Alt Text: Woman scrolling on her phone with a tearful expression, surrounded by festive lights—symbolizing holiday loneliness in the social media age.
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