How Forgiveness Heals Your Body and Mind

Deborah Ann Martin
Sep 22
4 min read

Doctor with patient smiling at the results from tests symbolizing freedom, peace, and health benefits of forgiveness. — A gentle touch. A quiet presence. Intimacy begins in moments like these

If you’ve been following our Forgiveness Series, you already know this isn’t about letting anyone “off the hook.” Forgiveness is about giving yourself permission to breathe again. It’s about choosing peace over pain, healing over holding on.

Forgiveness isn’t weakness. It’s strength, wisdom, and self-respect. You don’t do it once—you keep doing it, for as long as it takes. Sometimes the only person who hears it is you, and that’s enough

But here's something many people don’t realize: forgiveness isn’t just emotional—it’s physical. It’s not just a heart decision. It’s a health decision.

The Science of Forgiveness: What the Research Says

Forgiveness isn’t just good advice—it’s backed by research from some of the most trusted medical institutions. Here are a couple I chose:

Johns Hopkins Medicine reports that people who practice forgiveness have lower blood pressure, reduced anxiety, and stronger immune function
The Mayo Clinic links forgiveness to better relationships, improved sleep, and reduced symptoms of depression and stress
Harvard Health warns that chronic anger keeps the body in fight-or-flight mode, raising cortisol, increasing inflammation, and damaging long-term health

So when we say forgiveness helps you heal, we’re not being metaphorical—it’s literally backed by science.

Forgiveness is a Daily Practice, Not a One-Time Event

Forgiveness isn’t a box you check and forget. It’s something you may have to choose over and over again, especially in the beginning.

Sometimes you’ll whisper it under your breath when a painful memory hits
Sometimes you’ll say it out loud in the car or write it in your journal
Sometimes you’ll simply think, “I’m not letting them take any more of my peace today.”

Forgiveness can be messy, silent, loud, private, or healing. What matters is that you keep choosing it.

Boundaries, Not Walls: What Forgiveness Really Means

One of the biggest misconceptions about forgiveness is that it means full reconciliation. But forgiving someone does not mean giving them full access to you again.

Healthy forgiveness includes healthy boundaries:

You can forgive and still say “no”
You can forgive and limit contact
You can forgive and fiercely protect your peace

Walls shut everyone out. Boundaries allow the right people in while keeping toxicity out.

How Forgiveness Frees Your Mind

When you hold onto resentment, your brain gets stuck on a loop. The same memories replay. The same anger resurfaces. That mental exhaustion steals your energy and focus.

Forgiveness opens space for:

New friendships and deeper connections
Creative ideas and personal growth
Clearer decision-making without the cloud of anger
Peace in the present—without dragging the past into today

How Forgiveness Heals Your Body

Unforgiveness is like carrying a heavy backpack every day. It wears on your nervous system, your heart, your sleep—even your muscles.

Research shows that forgiving can:

Lower stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline
Improve sleep by calming your nervous system
Lower blood pressure and protect heart health
Boost immune system function
Reduce muscle tension, headaches, and fatigue

Your body thrives when it’s not stuck in survival mode. Forgiveness helps release that tension so your body can restore and heal.

Practical Ways to Keep Forgiving Every Day

You forgive because you want your mind to be free, your body to be healthier, and your future to be lighter.

1. Create a Forgiveness Ritual Each morning or night, say:“I choose to forgive today. I release the weight I’ve been carrying.”

2. Make a Mental Commitment to Your Healing Decide ahead of time that no matter what your ex—or anyone else—says or does, you will stay on your healing path. You’re not reacting to them anymore—you’re choosing peace for you.

3. Pair Forgiveness with Movement Take a walk and imagine letting go with each step. Anger in one step, peace in the next. Let your body help your heart release.

4. Journal Through the Pain Write down what triggered the anger or sadness. Then reframe it: "This happened, but I’m still choosing peace."

5. Try the Universe Method You don’t always need to confront the person directly. Shout it into the wind. Whisper it into your pillow. Write it on paper and tear it up. Let the act of release do the work.

6. Find an Accountability Partner Healing doesn’t have to be lonely. Share your forgiveness journey with someone you trust—a friend, a family member, or someone from our support groups. Let them gently remind you of your strength when the old pain resurfaces.

A Final Thought: You’ve Got This

Forgiveness isn't about forgetting. It’s about healing. It’s about choosing peace in a world that may have given you every reason to stay angry.

You’re not weak for wanting to feel better. You’re brave. You’re choosing to let go of what’s hurting you, not because they deserve it—but because you do.

You deserve calm. You deserve rest. You deserve joy that isn’t weighed down by the past.

This healing journey takes time, and some days it’s harder than others. But you’re already showing strength just by being here, reading this, and considering a better way forward.

Keep choosing yourself. Keep choosing freedom. Keep choosing peace.

You’ve got this.

What You Can Try Today

Your health is important. Reducing the stress that comes with forgiveness is worth the health benefits. Here are a few things you can try.

Write down one person or situation you’re still holding resentment toward
Say out loud (or in writing), “I choose to forgive, not for them—but for me.”
Try your forgiveness ritual before bed tonight
Notice how your body feels after releasing just a little bit of the weight

You’re Not Alone in This

At Surviving Life Lessons, we believe healing is easier when you’re not alone. If you’re ready to surround yourself with others who understand the struggle and want to grow with you, our community support groups are here for you.

Whether you’re healing from betrayal, navigating forgiveness, or just need to be reminded you’re not the only one—we’ve got a space for you.

Come join us.

You don’t have to walk this road by yourself.

JOIN A GROUP

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