Rebuilding Financial Stability After Divorce
- Deborah Ann Martin
- Jun 30
- 12 min read
When you go through a divorce, money gets messy—fast. You might have had a dual income, shared bills, or at least some financial help. And then, suddenly, you're on your own. Maybe you're living off one income. Maybe you’re living off no income. Either way, building financial stability after divorce is a survival issue.
I’ve been there—staring at bills, juggling the needs of my kids, wondering how I’d ever feel stable again. But little by little, I made progress. You can too.
The First Rule: Let Go of Shame
Before we talk about money, let’s talk about shame.
You might feel embarrassed about:
Living with a friend or family member
Having to sell things to make ends meet
Being late on bills
Needing public or church-based assistance
Let that shame and pride go.
You are doing what you have to do to survive. That takes courage, not weakness.
Facing the Financial Facts (Even If It Hurts)
Take a breath. Then look at your situation clearly:
What money is coming in?
What bills are non-negotiable (food, rent, gas)?
What can be paused, dropped, or downsized?
Now is not the time to pretend.
Now is the time to plan.
Even if the numbers look bad, knowing the truth is the first step to taking control.
What You Can Do Right Now to Reduce Expenses
Divorce is hard enough without having to figure out how to make ends meet financially. But the good news is, you don’t need a big paycheck or a fancy budgeting app to start regaining control. You didn’t choose this, and you may feel weak or vulnerable right now, but this is your opportunity to take charge. This is YOUR financial future, and YOU get to decide how to make it work.
Have Your EX put his name on items their keeping
If your ex is keeping certain items—whether it’s a car, furniture, or even a credit card—it’s important to ensure that their name is on the paperwork. Anything with your name attached means you are still legally responsible for it, even if you’re no longer together.
For instance, if a piece of furniture was financed in your name or the car title is still under your name, make sure those assets are transferred to their name. If something goes wrong—like an accident or missed payments—you could still be held liable.
This step is about protecting yourself from future financial responsibility. If possible, have them take over the legal and financial ownership of any items they're keeping, and remove your name from any related paperwork. It’s an essential part of separating your finances and ensuring you’re not stuck with responsibilities that no longer belong to you.
Get Clarity on Joint Accounts
You cannot rely on your ex to pay bills on time that are joint. Anything that’s tied to you financially now becomes your responsibility, no matter if they’re still using the car or the credit card. So, let's start with what you can do right now to reduce your expenses and regain some stability.
If you have anything joint—whether it’s credit cards, loans, or even utility accounts—get them into your name or his alone as soon as possible. If you can’t transfer them, ask your ex to remove themselves from the account. If that’s not an option, close the account altogether, even if it’s inconvenient.
Cut Out the Extras
Start with the obvious things. Cancel subscriptions and memberships that aren’t necessities.
This might include:
Cable (You can easily swap this for a streaming service or just use an antenna for local channels)
Gym memberships (There are free workout options online or in-app)
Streaming services (Maybe just keep one for now, like Netflix or Hulu, and skip the rest)
Any apps or services that have automatic charges (Check your bank or credit card statements for anything you're no longer using)
4. Negotiate Credit Card Interest Rates
For any credit cards you’re still paying on (especially if you’re not using them for food or utilities), call the companies and negotiate lower interest rates. Even if they can’t reduce the rate, ask if they can put you on a low-payment plan. Once you’ve made those arrangements, cut up the cards to avoid accumulating more debt.
Switch to a Low-Cost Phone Plan
Many cell phone providers offer plans as low as $30/month with unlimited data. Do some research to see what works best for your needs—there’s no reason to pay for extra services you don’t need.
Shop Secondhand
The urge to buy new things can be overwhelming, but there are plenty of places where you can get high-quality items for a fraction of the price.
Consider shopping at:
Facebook Marketplace
Thrift stores
Yard sales
Local Buy Nothing groups (These are often in neighborhoods and are great for finding free or cheap items)
Even some churches offer free or low-cost clothing on specific days of the week—be sure to ask around.
Cook Simple, Affordable Meals
It’s easy to fall into the trap of ordering takeout or dining out when you’re stressed. But eating at home is way more affordable. If you're unsure about cooking, start with something simple, like pasta and jar sauce.
Focus on simple, nutritious meals like:
Pasta
Rice
Beans
Frozen vegetables
Eggs
You’re feeding your body, not trying to impress anyone with fancy meals. Look for affordable recipes that will last you a few days, and meal prep to save even more.
Utilize Assistance Programs
If you find yourself really struggling, don’t hesitate to seek out help. There are numerous assistance programs available, such as:
Food banks
SNAP (food assistance)
Rent assistance
Utility forgiveness programs
You’re not alone in this, and there’s no shame in taking advantage of resources designed to help people in your situation.
8. Swap Out Services When Possible
If you’re earning some money and have room to make smaller changes, consider swapping out your services for more affordable options.
For example:
Switch from cable to a cheaper streaming service
Downgrade your internet plan (Many providers have affordable plans for just basic browsing and streaming)
Get a cheaper phone (You don’t need the latest model—look for deals on older phones, or check out options on Facebook Marketplace or other secondhand sites)
Building Financial Stability After Divorce Starts with a Budget
While it’s not necessary to have a complex budgeting system right away, having a simple, realistic budget will help you see where your money is going. A basic budget will help you understand your income, expenses, and any areas where you can save. It’s about taking baby steps and being proactive. My mother had a small spiral notebook with the date and the amount of money coming in at the top, and the bills to be paid on that payday. What was left was grocery money or kept for an emergency. She worked miracles with the money of our low-income family.
These steps aren’t going to solve everything overnight, but they’ll help you regain control of your finances and start making small, steady progress. Focus on taking it one day at a time. Small, smart choices add up, and eventually, you’ll feel more stable financially and emotionally. Remember, this is your fresh start, and you’re more capable than you realize.
Need Money Now? Try This.
Sometimes, you need money today—not in two weeks after a job interview or when your unemployment kicks in. Whether you’re between paychecks, waiting for a settlement, or just need to make it through a tough spot, there are quick ways to bring in cash right now. Here are real ideas that work:
1. Sell Your Stuff: Yard Sale or Facebook Marketplace
You likely have items around your home that you don’t need anymore. Things like kids' clothes, unused appliances, old decor, and even jewelry or designer shoes can bring in cash fast. Check through closets, drawers, and storage spaces. Anything you no longer need could be a valuable item for someone else.
Jewelry: Whether it's something you never wear or old pieces you don't have sentimental attachment to, sell it online or to local buyers.
Expensive clothing and shoes: Brand-name items, like a coat from a designer store or high-end shoes, can fetch a good price. You can list them on platforms like Poshmark, Depop, or local resale shops.
Appliances or tech: If you have an unused blender, coffee maker, or old phone, people will buy those from you. Even small electronics can sell fast.
It may feel like you’re parting with a lot, but it’s a fast way to get cash—and start fresh.
2. Offer Rideshare or Delivery (If You Have a Car)
If you have access to a car, there are plenty of apps that can get you earning today. Uber, Lyft, DoorDash, Instacart, and Uber Eats all let you start earning right away. Even if you don’t want to drive full-time, one shift or delivery run can bring in enough to cover groceries, bills, or some immediate needs.
The flexibility of these jobs makes them great for someone who might have kids or other commitments to work around. And in many cases, you can keep the tips in cash—immediate payment.
3. Babysit, Clean Houses, or Run Errands
If you have any free time and can help others, consider offering to babysit, clean houses, or run errands for cash. These are things many people need help with but don’t always want to pay for the expensive services of larger companies.
Start by reaching out to people you know—friends, family, neighbors. Word of mouth can quickly help you get gigs, and from there, you can build a network. Advertise on local Facebook groups, community boards, or apps like Care.com and Nextdoor.
Cleaning houses: Many people prefer someone they can trust for cleaning, and it’s an easy way to earn a few extra dollars for a few hours of work.
Babysitting or pet sitting: If you enjoy kids or animals, this can be an excellent side hustle.
Running errands: Whether it's grocery shopping, picking up dry cleaning, or taking someone’s pet to the vet, many people will pay for help with everyday tasks.
4. Freelance or Gig Work
Freelancing is a great option for many people because you can work as much or as little as you need to. Sites like TaskRabbit, Rover (for dog walking and pet care), and Upwork offer quick gigs that you can do on your own schedule. Some options require no prior experience.
TaskRabbit: You can offer services like furniture assembly, moving assistance, or even standing in line for people.
Upwork: If you have writing, graphic design, or web development skills, you can find quick freelance jobs here.
Rover: If you're an animal lover, dog walking or pet sitting can earn you quick cash.
If you don’t have a specific skill set yet, you can still sign up for simpler tasks that don’t require a lot of experience. You might also check Fiverr for small one-off tasks like data entry, transcription, or other online gigs.
5. Rent Out What You Don’t Use
If you own things you don’t use every day, consider renting them out. Whether it’s your car through a service like Turo, your camera gear on ShareGrid, or even your tools or home equipment on local rental sites, it’s a quick way to make extra money from things you already have.
6. Offer a Skill or Trade
Do you have a specific talent or skill? Whether it's photography, sewing, haircuts, massage, or artwork, people are often willing to pay for services like these. Advertise your services online through community boards, social media, or even local businesses that allow flyer postings.
Haircuts or Hairstyling: If you have experience, consider offering to cut or style hair for friends and neighbors.
Photography: Offer quick photo sessions for people who want family pictures, headshots, or product photography.
It’s Not About Forever Money—It’s About Getting Through Right Now. When you’re starting from scratch or feeling the financial pressure, the goal isn’t always to find a long-term solution right away—it’s about getting the immediate cash you need to survive the next few days or weeks. Focus on quick, small wins, and before you know it, you'll have built momentum.
Remember, you don’t have to do this alone, and you don’t have to have everything figured out all at once. Start small, keep pushing forward, and things will get better.
If You Have a Home... or Don’t
The reality of housing after divorce can be complex. Whether you're staying in the family home, moving in with loved ones, or facing the hardest situations, it can feel like a heavy burden. But remember, you are not alone in this journey, and the steps you take today will lead to the stability you’re striving for. Let’s break down the options and opportunities, and remember that where you live doesn’t define your worth—what matters is what you do next.
1. Still in the Family Home, But Can’t Afford It?
This is a challenging position, especially if the family home holds sentimental value or serves as a place of safety. However, staying may feel comforting, but if it’s financially draining you, it might be time to make tough decisions.
Consider Roommates or Renting Out a Room: If the home is too big or expensive to manage on your own, think about renting out a room. Roommates can help offset the mortgage and utilities, making it more affordable. This might be a temporary solution until you’re able to get back on your feet financially.
Talk to Your Mortgage Lender: Many lenders offer hardship programs that could lower your mortgage payment or offer forbearance in tough times. Don’t wait until you’re behind on payments—contact them early to discuss your options. Lenders would rather help you avoid foreclosure if possible.
Selling the Home: If it’s simply no longer affordable and you’re sinking into debt, selling the house might be necessary. It's hard to let go of a home, but sometimes it’s the best option for both your financial and emotional well-being. There are ways to sell quickly and find something more manageable.
2. Moved In With Friends or Family?
Sometimes, moving in with loved ones feels like the only option, especially when your own home is no longer viable. Living with others can be a blessing, but it’s important to recognize that it’s a temporary step.
Make a Plan to Get Your Own Space: Even if you’re not sure how long you’ll be staying, start making a financial plan. Even a small savings goal, like setting aside $50–$100 a month, can help you get closer to your own space. Take a moment to dream about what you really want—whether it’s a small apartment, a shared house, or renting a room in a place that feels like home. Dream big, but plan small.
Set a Timeline: Whether it's six months, a year, or longer, create a timeline for moving out. Break the process down into achievable steps. Research housing costs, start saving for a security deposit, and keep an eye out for rental listings that match your budget. This helps you stay focused and motivated.
3. In a Shelter or Without a Place at All?
This is an incredibly tough situation, and it can feel like you’re starting from nothing. But survival and resilience come first. Your safety and stability are the most important things right now.
Find Stability for Your Body and Mind: Focus on securing food, rest, and safety. Local shelters, churches, and community centers are often equipped with resources to support people in crisis. Take care of yourself first—mentally, physically, and emotionally—so you can begin thinking about the next steps.
Access Transitional Programs: Many local social services, churches, and community organizations offer transitional housing programs designed to help people in tough situations regain stability. These programs often include financial assistance, career resources, and even emotional support to help you move forward.
Look for Long-Term Solutions: Once your immediate needs are met, start planning for your long-term housing. This might include finding affordable rentals, applying for government housing programs, or exploring options for subsidized housing. Start by building a small savings—even if it’s just a few dollars at a time—to put toward a more permanent place.
3. Your Housing Doesn’t Define You. You Do.
Where you live right now does not determine your future. Your ability to keep moving forward and to create a plan for stability defines your resilience.
Focus on Resilience: You’ve already made it through one of life’s hardest challenges: divorce. That shows incredible strength. Whatever housing situation you’re in, remember that it’s just one part of your journey. This moment doesn’t define you; it’s the steps you take next that will shape your future.
You Are Worth More Than Your Living Situation: It’s easy to feel like your current housing situation is a reflection of your worth, but you are so much more than where you live. What you have now may be temporary, but what you choose to do next—how you rebuild, recover, and heal—will define your future.
Finding stable housing after divorce is not easy, but every small action you take today brings you closer to a better tomorrow. Whether you’re staying with family, struggling to keep your home, or trying to find shelter, don’t lose sight of the fact that housing is just a temporary part of your life story.
You can build something new, stronger, and more stable, one step at a time. Start by taking control of what you can—even if it’s just making a plan or reaching out for help. You deserve a safe and supportive space, and you have the strength to create it. Take the next step, and know that you're not alone.
What You Can Try Today
Every small step is a step closer to gaining control and starting your new normal. You might surprise yourself like I did. This new life has new adventures and new things to try. Today, start small, try one of our suggestions below.
Write down your three biggest bills. Make a plan to pay or reduce each one, starting with housing, food, and transportation.
Cancel one unnecessary service. Just one. Today.
Look around your home for 5 things to sell. Post them on Facebook Marketplace or have a weekend sale.
List one survival job you can do this week. Babysit. Clean. Drive. Sell crafts. Every dollar counts.
Say this to yourself:“This is temporary. I am not a failure—I’m rebuilding.”
You’re Not Alone in This
Stability starts with honesty. Not perfection. At Surviving Life Lessons, our support groups are full of people just like you—figuring out how to make it all work, one day at a time.
If you need real talk, fresh ideas, and a place where no one judges you for doing what you have to do to survive, come join us.
You don’t have to figure this out by yourself.
Join us.
We're here, whether you’re ready to share or need a space where people understand.
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