9 Steps to Rebuild Trust in Yourself (A Practical Guide)
- Deborah Ann Martin
- Sep 26
- 5 min read
Updated: Oct 14
You don’t have to stay stuck in self-doubt—these simple steps will help you heal your inner relationship, one choice at a time.
If you’ve ever said, “I can’t trust myself anymore,” you’re not alone. Losing self-trust can leave you stuck, doubting every decision, and disconnected from your own feelings. In our last blog, we explored why this happens and how it affects your life. Today, we focus on the solution.
Rebuilding trust in yourself is possible. Just like rebuilding trust in a relationship, it’s about honesty, patience, consistency, and showing up—even when it’s uncomfortable.
In this blog, you’ll learn 9 practical steps to start healing your relationship with yourself. You don’t have to follow them all perfectly. Even one small step can help you move forward.
What Does It Mean to Rebuild Trust in Yourself?
Rebuilding trust in yourself means learning to believe your own thoughts, honor your own feelings, and follow through on your own promises. It’s about becoming a person you can rely on again.
When trust breaks between two people, healing happens through:
Apologies.
Honest conversations.
Small actions that rebuild confidence over time.
When trust breaks within you, the process is similar. You need to:
Acknowledge the hurt.
Be honest about your feelings.
Keep small promises to yourself.
Allow yourself to grow.
Now, let’s explore exactly how to do that—step by gentle step.
9 Steps to Rebuild Trust in Yourself (Expanded & Explained)
Here’s a practical guide you can return to anytime. Remember: progress, not perfection.
1. Acknowledge the Hurt and the Breach
You can’t rebuild trust if you pretend nothing’s wrong. Think of this as saying to yourself, “I know we’ve been disconnected. I see the hurt.”
This might feel strange, but naming your broken trust is powerful. Write it down or say it aloud:
“I don’t trust myself right now, and that’s okay. I’m ready to work on it.”
Why It Matters: Naming the problem stops the cycle of ignoring it. You begin healing by facing the truth.
Example: Like acknowledging a fight with a friend, admitting to yourself that trust is broken allows space for repair.
2. Be Honest and Take Responsibility (Without Blame)
Being honest doesn’t mean being cruel. Look at where you’ve abandoned or doubted yourself:
Have you ignored your feelings?
Made promises you didn’t keep?
Criticized yourself unfairly?
Say gently:
“I see where I’ve hurt myself, and I’m ready to take responsibility—with kindness.”
Why It Matters: Responsibility builds maturity in your inner relationship. It moves you out of blame and into healing.
Example: Think of how a partner apologizes sincerely to rebuild trust. You’re offering that same honest accountability inward.
3. Admit Mistakes and Be Kind to Yourself
Admitting mistakes doesn’t mean punishing yourself. It means saying:
“I’ve messed up sometimes. But I’m human. I’m learning.”
Why It Matters: Many people are their own harshest critics. Trust isn’t rebuilt through punishment. It’s rebuilt through compassion.
Example: If a friend admitted they made a mistake, you’d comfort them. Do the same for yourself.
4. Keep Small Promises (Show Consistency)
Consistency is how trust rebuilds. But don’t overpromise. Choose tiny, manageable commitments:
“I’ll drink one glass of water today.”
“I’ll write one sentence in my journal.”
“I’ll take five minutes to breathe before bed.”
Why It Matters: Small promises kept prove to your mind that you’re safe to trust again.
Example: Think of someone rebuilding trust in a relationship by showing up regularly. You’re showing up for yourself in small, repeatable ways.
5. Accept Your Feelings (Even the Hard Ones)
Stop dismissing your emotions. Let them be. When sadness, anger, or fear show up, say:
“I hear you. You’re allowed to be here.”
Why It Matters: Trust grows when your inner voice feels heard, not ignored. Emotions are messages, not threats.
Example: In a relationship, trust rebuilds when feelings are welcomed. Do the same inside yourself.
6. Communicate Openly With Yourself (Journaling / Reflection)
Set aside time to write your thoughts without editing. Journaling creates open communication between your mind and heart.
Questions to explore:
“What do I need right now?”
“What’s hurting me?”
“What promise can I keep today?”
Why It Matters: Writing removes pressure to “get it right.” It lets you be honest with yourself—no judgment.
Example: Just like open conversations heal broken relationships, journaling creates honest dialogue inside yourself.
7. Repair What You Can and Learn From It
You can’t fix everything, but you can make small repairs:
Apologize to yourself for broken promises.
Restart goals with smaller expectations.
Say: “I’m sorry I ignored you. Let’s try again.”
Why It Matters: Repair tells your subconscious, “I’m trying. I care.” Each repair builds emotional safety.
Example: After hurting someone, a real friend makes amends. You’re offering the same care to your own inner world.
8. Be Open to Growth and Improvement
Trust isn’t static. Stay open to learning:
Allow yourself to try new habits.
Explore new ways to comfort yourself.
Accept that healing isn’t linear.
Why It Matters: Growth shows your mind that you’re not stuck in the past. You’re moving forward.
Example: In relationships, people say, “I’m working on myself.” Say that to yourself, and mean it.
9. Give Yourself Time and Patience
Healing inner trust isn’t fast. It’s built one choice at a time. Allow setbacks. Celebrate small wins.
Say to yourself:
“This will take time, and that’s okay. I’m worth the wait.”
Why It Matters: Pressure destroys trust. Patience nurtures it.
Example: You wouldn’t expect a friend to forgive overnight. Be that same patient friend to yourself.
You Don’t Need to Do All 9 Steps at Once
Rebuilding trust in yourself is not a checklist to finish. It’s a process.
If you’re overwhelmed, choose one small step:
Keep a single promise today.
Write one sentence in your journal.
Say one kind word to yourself.
Each act is proof: You’re showing up.
Support on Your Journey
You don’t have to figure this out alone. If you’re struggling to choose a next step, I can help.
Book a Next Step Coaching session to get personalized support. Together, we’ll choose realistic actions to help you start trusting yourself again.
Learn more at www.survivinglifelessons.com. You’re worth the work.
[Start Next Step Coaching – It’s your turn to come first.]
Healing & Journaling Tool: “Which Step Feels Safe?”
Prompt:
Reflect gently:
Which of the 9 steps feels least scary to me right now?
What’s one promise I can realistically keep today?
How does it feel to imagine apologizing to myself?
When was the last time I felt proud of myself?
What would “being patient with myself” look like this week?
Write without judgment. Let your answers guide you.
(This will be saved to your journaling doc.)
You Are Worth Rebuilding
Every act of healing matters. Whether you choose one step or five, you’re moving forward. Trust isn’t built by perfection—it’s built by showing up, consistently and kindly.
You are someone worth believing in.
Positive Affirmation: “I trust myself to keep showing up for me.”
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