Why I Threw Myself a Purple Cancer Survival Party
Updated: 23 hours ago
My Cancer Survival Celebration: One Year Alive After Stage IV Uterine Leiomyosarcoma
The only party anyone has ever truly organized for me was a potluck baby shower at my church.
Every other party in my life, I planned myself.
That includes my purple cancer-survival party.
Some people may think it is sad to organize your own celebration. I do not see it that way.
Parties are celebrations.
When I reached one year after being diagnosed with Stage IV uterine leiomyosarcoma, I had something worth celebrating.
I was alive.
I Did Not Need Someone Else to Decide My Life Was Worth Celebrating
I could have waited for someone to suggest a party.
I could have hoped that my family or friends would organize something.
I could have felt hurt if no one did.
Instead, I made the decision myself.
I had survived one of the hardest years of my life.
I did not need permission to celebrate that.
I did not need someone else to recognize the milestone before I could recognize it myself.
One Year Was Not “Just” One Year
Before cancer, one year might have felt ordinary.
After Stage IV cancer, it felt enormous.
I had made it through major surgery.
I had made it through the first day of chemotherapy.
I had made it through doxorubicin.
I had made it through pneumonia while my immune system was already dealing with chemotherapy.
I had made it through surgical complications, port pain, a seroma, wound care, fear, bloodwork, scans, exhaustion, and food that tasted terrible.
There were several points when something could have gone very wrong.
Reaching one year meant I had survived all of them.
I Could Have Died During Surgery
Major surgery always carries risk.
My surgery involved removing very large pelvic masses caused by uterine leiomyosarcoma.
My body had already been through a hysterectomy and morcellation before anyone understood that cancer was involved.
Then I faced another operation to remove tumors measuring approximately twelve and thirteen centimeters, along with other pelvic tissue.
There were risks involving bleeding, infection, anesthesia, blood clots, injury, and recovery.
I woke up.
I survived the operation.
That was worth celebrating.
I Could Have Died During Chemotherapy
The first day of chemotherapy was frightening.
Doxorubicin is a powerful cancer medicine.
I needed it because I had an aggressive metastatic cancer.
But chemotherapy is not harmless.
It can affect blood cells, immunity, the heart, energy, appetite, and many other parts of the body.
I made it through the first treatment.
Then I made it through the next one.
Eventually, I made it through the entire course.
Every completed infusion brought me closer to the one-year mark.
I Developed Pneumonia During Treatment
On December 31, 2020, a chest X-ray unexpectedly showed that I had pneumonia.
I had not recognized it because I already had asthma, and the symptoms did not feel dramatically different at first.
I was fortunate that the pneumonia remained mild enough to treat with antibiotics at home.
I was also grateful that my primary-care doctor listened when I made the unusual request for a chest X-ray.
I had received the pneumococcal vaccine, and although I cannot prove exactly how much it affected the illness, I was thankful I had taken the preventive care offered to me.
Pneumonia could have become much more dangerous while I was receiving chemotherapy.
I survived that too.
I Had Bought My House
The party was not only about cancer.
I had also bought my own house.
After divorce and major life changes, owning my home meant security, independence, and rebuilding.
It was mine.
That mattered deeply to me.
The house represented a future I had not been certain I would live long enough to enjoy.
Celebrating cancer survival inside a home I had purchased for myself made the day even more meaningful.
Purple Was the Color of the Day
Purple represented uterine leiomyosarcoma awareness for me.
Everyone was asked to dress in purple.
Purple ribbons and decorations were placed throughout the party.
There were purple details everywhere.
We included some purple food, but the gathering was not built around turning every dish an unnatural color.
We ate real food.
Good food.
The kind of food people enjoy when they gather around a table together.
Cooking Is One of My Love Languages
I love to cook.
Food is one of the ways I show people that I care.
When I prepare a meal, I am not only filling plates.
I am creating comfort.
I am welcoming people.
I am giving them a piece of my time, energy, and attention.
That made food an important part of the purple party.
The menu did not need to be fancy.
It needed to feel like me.
We Had Cancer Goody Bags
The party also included cancer-themed goody bags.
They helped connect the celebration with the reason everyone was there.
Purple-ribbon items and cancer-awareness details were included throughout the event.
The bags made the day feel special and intentional.
They were not meant to turn cancer into something cute or easy.
They were reminders that we were celebrating survival from something serious.
My Family and Friends Were There
I was surrounded by family and friends.
That mattered.
Cancer can feel lonely even when other people are present.
The patient is the person receiving the diagnosis, entering the scanner, taking the medicine, waking after surgery, and waiting for the results.
But survival also happens inside a community.
People pray.
They call.
They bring food.
They visit.
They help with children.
They sit nearby.
They laugh with you when you are tired of talking about cancer.
The purple party allowed me to gather some of those people in one place and celebrate with them.
I Did Not Care Who Came or Did Not Come
That part was important to me.
I was happy.
I did not spend the day counting who showed up.
I did not allow an empty chair or missing person to determine whether the celebration was successful.
The party was not a test of who loved me most.
It was not a way to measure relationships.
I was celebrating being alive.
Anyone who came was welcome.
Anyone who did not come did not have the power to ruin the day.
I Have Learned to Create My Own Celebrations
Some people grow up with families who organize birthdays, anniversaries, showers, and milestone parties for them.
That has not been my experience.
If I wanted a celebration, I usually created it.
For years, that could have felt unfair.
At some point, I realized that I did not have to wait for someone else to make my life special.
I could gather people.
I could cook.
I could decorate.
I could decide that a milestone mattered.
I could create the memory myself.
Planning My Own Cancer Survival Party
Planning my own cancer survival party didn't make it less meaningful than if someone threw it for me and invited my friends and family. A celebration is not more valuable simply because it surprises the person being honored.
I knew the party was coming because I planned it.
That did not make the joy less real.
I chose the color.
I prepared the food.
I decided what the day would represent.
I invited people into my happiness.
The party was meaningful because of what I had survived, not because someone else had completed the planning.
Cancer Gave Time a Different Meaning
Before cancer, I often moved from one responsibility to another.
Work.
Children.
Bills.
Appointments.
Household tasks.
Plans for the future.
Cancer interrupted that rhythm.
It reminded me that reaching another birthday, anniversary, holiday, or year is not automatic.
After diagnosis, one year was no longer a small unit of time.
It was twelve months I had been afraid I might not receive.
I Did Not Want the First Anniversary to Pass Quietly
Some survivors prefer private reflection.
Some do not want attention.
Some feel anxious around diagnosis anniversaries.
Those responses are valid.
I wanted a party.
I wanted purple decorations.
I wanted food.
I wanted family and friends.
I wanted laughter inside my new house.
I wanted to look around and say:
“I am still here.”
That was how I needed to mark the day.
A Cancer Anniversary Can Bring Mixed Feelings
Reaching one year did not erase fear.
I knew the cancer could return.
I knew Stage IV uterine leiomyosarcoma was serious.
I knew one good scan did not promise a lifetime.
Celebration and uncertainty existed together.
I could be afraid of the future and still enjoy the present.
I did not need a guarantee of twenty more years before celebrating the year I had already received.
I Was Celebrating More Than Medical Survival
The party honored several victories at once.
I had survived cancer treatment.
I had survived pneumonia.
I had endured surgery and chemotherapy.
I had purchased my own house.
I had gathered people I cared about.
I had continued writing and creating.
I had rebuilt parts of my life after divorce.
I was making a home in Virginia.
I was learning how to live after being told that my future might be short.
The purple party celebrated all of that.
Joy Does Not Disrespect the People Who Died
Cancer survivors sometimes feel guilty celebrating.
We know other patients did not reach the same milestone.
We know families who would give anything for one more year.
That knowledge can make joy feel uncomfortable.
But refusing to celebrate my survival would not bring anyone else back.
It would only remove a day of happiness from the life I still had.
I can remember those who died and still celebrate that I survived.
A Party Can Be an Act of Defiance
Cancer had already taken enough from me.
It had taken health.
It had taken time.
It had taken energy.
It had filled my calendar with procedures and appointments.
It had made ordinary food taste terrible.
It had made my family worry.
For one day, the cancer did not get to control the mood.
Purple ribbons were not symbols of fear.
They were decorations at a celebration.
The house was not a recovery room.
It was a place filled with food, family, friends, and life.
I Was Happy
That may be the simplest and most important part of the story.
I was happy.
Not pretending to be happy.
Not forcing myself to appear positive for other people.
I was genuinely happy that day.
I had made it one year.
The people who mattered to me were gathered around.
I was in my house.
I was cooking and sharing food.
I was surrounded by purple.
For that day, survival felt like something I could hold in my hands.
Celebrations Do Not Have to Be Perfect
The food does not have to match a theme perfectly.
Every guest does not have to arrive.
The decorations do not have to look professionally designed.
The survivor does not have to give an inspirational speech.
The party does not have to hide fear or grief.
A celebration only needs a reason.
Mine was simple:
I was alive one year after a Stage IV cancer diagnosis.
You Are Allowed to Celebrate Yourself
Many people wait to be recognized.
They wait for someone to organize the dinner.
They wait for someone to remember the milestone.
They wait for someone else to decide that what they accomplished was important.
Sometimes that recognition comes.
Sometimes it does not.
You are still allowed to celebrate.
You can buy the cake.
You can cook the meal.
You can invite the people.
You can choose the music.
You can decorate the room.
You can honor your own survival.
Ideas for a Cancer Milestone Celebration
A celebration can be as large or small as the survivor wants.
It may include:
A party in a meaningful color
A favorite meal
A quiet dinner
A family gathering
A prayer service
A trip
A picnic
A photo session
A donation
A special piece of jewelry
A letter to yourself
A memory book
A day spent doing something joyful
A gathering that thanks caregivers
There is no correct way to celebrate survival.
The event should reflect the person.
Questions to Consider Before Planning
What am I celebrating?
Do I want a large gathering or something private?
Which people help me feel safe and happy?
What food feels meaningful?
Do I want a cancer-awareness theme?
Do I want gifts, donations, or no gifts?
How much energy will planning require?
Can someone help with setup or cleanup?
Do I need rest before or after?
What would make the day feel like mine?
A celebration should not create so much pressure that the survivor cannot enjoy it.
What Loved Ones Should Understand
Do not assume the survivor wants a surprise party.
Ask.
Some people want attention.
Some want privacy.
Some want to talk about cancer.
Some want one day when no one mentions it.
The best support respects the survivor’s wishes.
When someone plans her own party, do not treat that as sad.
Show up with love.
Help carry the food.
Tie the purple ribbons.
Take photographs.
Celebrate with her.
What I Wish Someone Had Told Me
I wish someone had told me earlier that I did not have to wait for people to celebrate me.
I wish I had understood that planning my own party did not make the milestone less important.
I wish more cancer patients knew that one year can deserve as much recognition as five years.
I wish someone had told me that happiness does not have to wait until every scan, symptom, and fear disappears.
Most of all, I wish someone had said:
“You survived something enormous. You are allowed to make a big deal out of still being here.”
Hope for Today
I threw my own purple party.
I planned it because parties are celebrations, and I had something important to celebrate.
I had survived surgery.
I had survived my first chemotherapy treatment and every treatment that followed.
I had survived pneumonia.
I had made it through complications, pain, fear, and exhaustion.
I had bought my house.
I had family and friends around me.
We dressed in purple.
We decorated with purple ribbons.
We made cancer goody bags.
We ate some purple food and plenty of real food.
I cooked because feeding people is one of the ways I show love.
I did not care who came or who stayed home.
I was not measuring attendance.
I was celebrating one year alive.
That day was joyful because I decided it would be.
Cancer had given me enough reasons to cry.
The purple party gave me a reason to laugh, cook, gather people, and say:
“I made it.”
Frequently Asked Questions
Why did I choose purple?
Purple represented uterine leiomyosarcoma awareness for me and became the central color of the celebration.
Did someone organize the party for me?
No. I planned and hosted it myself, as I have done with most celebrations in my life.
Was planning my own survival party sad?
Not to me. Planning it allowed me to decide exactly what the milestone meant and how I wanted to honor it.
Did I wait until I was considered cured?
No. I celebrated reaching one year even though I knew the future remained uncertain.
Was the party only about cancer?
No. It also celebrated buying my own house, rebuilding my life, gathering family and friends, and continuing to create a future.
Did all the food have to be purple?
No. We included purple details, but the meal was mainly real food that people would enjoy.
Why was cooking important?
Cooking is one of my love languages. Preparing food allowed me to care for the people who came to celebrate with me.
What if important people do not attend a milestone celebration?
Their absence does not have to control the day. The purpose is to honor the milestone, not use attendance as a measurement of love.
Is it normal to feel fear during a cancer anniversary?
Yes. Milestones may bring happiness, anxiety, grief, gratitude, or several emotions at once.
Support on Your Journey
Cancer milestones can bring joy and fear into the same room.
Surviving Life Lessons Community Groups are being formed so patients, survivors, and caregivers can discuss cancer anniversaries, celebrations, survivor’s guilt, recurrence fears, and rebuilding life after treatment.
You do not have to wait for another person to decide that your survival deserves a celebration.
Find Your Community
No one should have to face life's challenges alone. At Surviving Life Lessons, we believe in life survivors helping life strugglers. Explore our growing Community Groups to connect with others who understand your journey, share encouragement, and find hope through meaningful conversations. You'll also have the opportunity to introduce yourself and share your own story of overcoming. Your story matters. It may be the encouragement someone else needs to keep moving forward, reminding them that they are not alone and that hope is always possible.
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References
Wish-Granting & Memory-Making Organizations
Dream Foundation | General Dream Application & Program Overview | [https://www.dreamfoundation.org/general-dream-application-preview/](https://www.dreamfoundation.org/general-dream-application-preview/)
Ally's Wish | Granting Wishes to Terminally Ill Mothers | [https://allyswish.org/](https://allyswish.org/)
Do It For The Love | Live Music Experiences for Life-Threatening Illnesses | [https://www.doitforthelove.org/](https://www.doitforthelove.org/)
3 Little Birds for Life | Adult Cancer Patient Memory Maker Celebrations | [https://www.3littlebirds4life.org/](https://www.3littlebirds4life.org/)
Milestone Recognition & Community Tools
Cancer Nation (formerly NCCS) | Cancerversary® Resources & Milestones | [https://canceradvocacy.org/get-involved/cancerversary/](https://canceradvocacy.org/get-involved/cancerversary/)
American Cancer Society | Memorial Donation and Tribute Gifts | [https://www.cancer.org/donate/memorial-giving.html](https://www.cancer.org/donate/memorial-giving.html)
About the Author:
Deborah Ann Martin is the founder of Surviving Life Lessons, a published author, poet, speaker, and trainer with over 20 years of management experience across multiple industries. An MBA graduate, U.S. veteran, single mother, and rare cancer survivor, Deborah brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her writing on resilience, leadership, personal growth, and overcoming adversity. Her mission is to empower others with practical wisdom and real-life insight to navigate life’s challenges with strength and purpose.
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