Chemotherapy Hair Loss: The Hats That Helped Me Face Cancer
- Deborah Ann Martin
- 1 day ago
- 18 min read
How My Coworkers and Grandchildren Helped Me Through Hair Loss
When I had gone through surgeries before, the people at work brought food and helped in familiar ways.
Cancer was different.
This time, Kim rallied my coworkers and began collecting money. Instead of only bringing meals, they helped me prepare for something I had never experienced before: losing my hair during chemotherapy.
They helped buy scarves and hats.
Some of my coworkers were talented and crafty, so they made hats especially for me.
I received practical hats, pretty hats, soft hats, and hats made with love.
At a time when cancer was taking so many choices away from me, those hats gave me something I could choose for myself.
I could decide what I wanted to wear.
I could decide how I wanted to face the world.
And I could remember that even though cancer was happening to my body, I was still me.
I Did Not Want to Wear a Wig
Before chemotherapy, I learned that health insurance may sometimes help pay for a wig used because of medically caused hair loss.
The insurance language may call it a cranial prosthesis or hair prosthesis rather than simply a wig.
That difference in wording can matter when you talk with your insurance company.
Some insurance plans may cover part or all of the cost. Others may require a prescription, prior authorization, specific documentation, an approved provider, or reimbursement paperwork.
Coverage varies by plan, so it is important to ask your insurer what your particular policy requires. The American Cancer Society recommends asking whether cranial prostheses are covered and whether a prescription or letter from your doctor is required.
I learned there could be a certain dollar limit.
There could be approved places where I was expected to shop.
There could be hoops to jump through before the insurance company would pay.
For some patients, a wig helps them feel more like themselves.
For others, a wig provides privacy because they do not want everyone to know they are receiving treatment.
Some people enjoy trying a different hairstyle or color.
I respected those choices.
They simply were not mine.
I Chose Soft Hats
I decided that I would rather wear soft hats and scarves.
I found attractive hats online, including many through Amazon. My coworkers also helped me obtain them, and several people made beautiful hats themselves.
Comfort mattered to me.
A scalp without hair can feel cold, sensitive, itchy, or irritated. The American Cancer Society recommends considering soft materials and comfortable head coverings, especially when the scalp is sensitive. Hats can also provide protection from cold and sunlight.
I did not need to pretend I still had hair.
I wanted something soft.
I wanted something comfortable.
I wanted something that felt like me.
There was something surprisingly comforting about having a collection of hats.
Some were colorful.
Some were simple.
Some were handmade.
And some carried a little piece of the person who had made or given them to me.
The Hats Became Part of My Cancer Identity
I had not wanted people to treat me like an invalid because I had cancer.
I was still Debbie.
I still wanted to work when I could, make my own decisions, laugh with my family, and live an ordinary life between appointments.
But the hats made my illness visible.
People could look at me and know something had changed.
At first, that can feel uncomfortable.
Hair is personal. It can be connected to identity, femininity, age, confidence, privacy, and the way we believe other people see us.
Hair loss can also make an illness that once felt private suddenly feel public.
Eventually, I made the hats part of my own style.
They were not something cancer chose for me.
They became something I chose for myself.
My Coworkers Gave Me More Than Money
The money helped me buy what I needed.
The handmade hats meant even more.
Someone had selected the material.
Someone had chosen the color.
Someone had spent time making something with me in mind.
Each hat said:
“We see what you are facing.”
“You do not have to prepare for it alone.”
“We cannot receive chemotherapy for you, but we can help keep your head warm.”
That kind of support matters.
People often want to help when someone they care about has cancer, but they may not know what to do.
They may fear saying the wrong thing.
They may bring food because food is familiar.
They may stay away because illness frightens them.
Kim gave my coworkers a practical way to help.
She turned their concern into something useful.
And sometimes useful help is exactly what someone needs.
Hair Loss Is Not “Just Hair”
People sometimes say:
“It is only hair. It will grow back.”
That may be true eventually for many people, but it can minimize what hair loss represents.
Hair loss can make a private illness public.
It may remind the patient every morning that treatment is happening.
It can change the way children and grandchildren react when they first see someone without hair.
It may affect confidence, body image, privacy, and the feeling of recognizing yourself in the mirror.
Chemotherapy-related hair loss also varies. Some chemotherapy drugs cause significant hair loss, while others may cause thinning or little noticeable hair loss. Hair often begins growing again after treatment, but the timing and appearance of regrowth can vary. New hair may temporarily have a different texture or color.
Knowing that hair may grow back does not make losing it emotionally easy.
Sometimes we need permission to say:
This is hard for me.
Even if someone else thinks it shouldn't be.
Telling My Grandchildren Was Harder Than Choosing a Hat
One of the hardest parts of my cancer experience was telling my grandchildren.
My adult children allowed me to have that conversation with them.
I appreciated that because I wanted the children to hear the information directly from me, in words I had chosen.
I did not want them to overhear pieces of adult conversations.
I did not want them imagining something worse because no one would explain what was happening.
And I did not want to frighten them with more medical detail than they could understand.
I researched how to speak with children about cancer.
I looked at information from organizations such as the National Cancer Institute and St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. I also asked my cancer doctor and infusion nurses for guidance.
That research reinforced something important:
Children usually do not need every detail at once.
They need honest, age-appropriate information.
They need opportunities to ask questions.
And they need reassurance that the cancer is not their fault and that they cannot catch cancer from the person who is sick.
Children Often Know Something Is Wrong
Adults sometimes avoid using the word cancer because they believe silence will protect a child.
Children notice changes.
They see adults whispering.
They notice appointments, tiredness, medicine, hospital stays, and changes in appearance.
They can tell when someone is frightened.
When children are given no explanation, they may create their own explanation.
And sometimes a child's imagination can be more frightening than the truth.
The National Cancer Institute recommends honest conversations with children and giving them information that is appropriate for their age and understanding. Children need opportunities to ask questions and express their feelings.
That does not mean telling a child everything.
It means telling the truth in a way the child can understand.
I Wanted Them to Know They Could Help
Children can feel powerless when someone they love has cancer.
Adults make the appointments.
Doctors provide the treatment.
Nurses manage the medicine.
Children may believe there is nothing they can do.
My grandchildren showed me that children can be part of the support system in safe, meaningful ways.
They brought me water.
They did activities with me.
They responded to my hats and hair loss.
One of the actions that later became part of Joey’s Hat Collection was cutting hair as a loving gesture of support.
These actions did not cure my cancer.
They did something different.
They helped my grandchildren feel connected to me rather than shut out of the experience.
They also helped me.
A cup of water from a grandchild can carry more love than the child realizes.
Helping Does Not Need to Be Medical
Children should never be made responsible for a patient's health or survival.
They should not be expected to monitor serious symptoms, manage complicated medication, or become the primary caregiver.
But they can help in small, age-appropriate ways.
They might:
Bring water.
Draw a picture.
Choose a soft hat.
Read a story.
Watch a movie together.
Help select a snack.
Make a card.
Bring a pillow.
Sit quietly during a tired day.
Help decorate a treatment bag.
Ask honest questions.
These small actions can help children express love without giving them adult responsibilities.
The National Cancer Institute similarly encourages children to participate in ordinary, helpful activities while making clear that they are not responsible for making the person with cancer well.
Cancer Changes the Whole Family
Cancer was happening inside my body, but the emotional effects reached everyone around me.
My children worried.
My grandchildren noticed changes.
My friends tried to help.
My coworkers collected money.
My doctors and nurses guided treatment.
Cancer can affect family routines, responsibilities, emotions, and communication. Family members may experience fear, sadness, anger, uncertainty, or guilt while they adjust to what treatment changes.
That is why support cannot focus only on the patient.
Children need explanations.
Adult children may need guidance.
Caregivers need rest.
Coworkers may need practical ways to help.
And the person receiving treatment may need permission to accept help without feeling guilty about needing it.
The Grandchildren Inspired Joey’s Hat Collection
My chemotherapy experience, telling my grandchildren, and the love my grandchildren gave me became the foundation for one of my books, Joey’s Hat Collection
In the story, Joey's father is going through chemotherapy.
Joey sees the changes cancer treatment creates.
He sees the hats.
He wants to help.
The actions Joey takes were inspired by things my own grandchildren did while I was receiving treatment.
I wanted children to see that they are not helpless when someone they love has cancer.
They cannot remove the cancer.
They can bring comfort.
They can offer water.
They can share time.
They can make the person smile.
They can understand that the hats, tiredness, and changes in appearance are connected to treatment.
That was the heart of the book I wanted to create.
Why the Book Needed Information for Adults Too
I knew the story itself was not enough.
Parents and grandparents also need help beginning difficult conversations.
That is why I researched what to include in the back of the book.
I considered my lived experience, but I did not rely on my experience alone.
I sought information from:
My cancer doctor
Infusion nurses
Cancer organizations
Child-focused medical resources
St. Jude materials
The National Cancer Institute
My own family’s experiences
I wanted the adult guidance to help families explain cancer in simple language without making promises they could not keep.
A parent or grandparent should not say:
“Everything will definitely be fine.”
when the future is uncertain.
A more honest reassurance might be:
“The doctors are working hard to help me.”
“I will tell you what is happening.”
“You can always ask me questions.”
“You did not cause this.”
“You cannot catch cancer from me.”
“You will be cared for.”
The National Cancer Institute recommends honest, age-appropriate conversations and reassuring children that they are not responsible for making the person with cancer well.
Children Need Different Information at Different Ages
A preschool child may need a very short explanation.
A school-age child may want to know why hair falls out or whether cancer is contagious.
A teenager may search online, understand more of the risks, and have questions adults are uncomfortable answering.
The conversation should grow with the child.
It may need to happen more than once.
Children often ask one question, think about the answer, and return later with another.
St. Jude and the National Cancer Institute both emphasize using language appropriate to a child's age and developmental level and continuing the conversation as questions arise.
You do not have to have every answer.
It is okay to say:
“I don't know, but we can ask your doctor together.”
What Children May Need to Hear
Depending on their age, children may need reassurance that:
Cancer is not their fault.
They cannot catch cancer by hugging the person.
They are allowed to feel scared, sad, angry, or confused.
They can ask questions.
They will still be loved.
Someone will take care of them.
Treatment may cause changes such as tiredness or hair loss.
The person with cancer may not always be able to play in the same way.
Quiet time does not mean the patient is angry with them.
They can help in small and safe ways.
Adults will tell them when something important changes.
Children do not need every frightening possibility in the first conversation.
They do need truth.
Let Children Respond in Their Own Ways
Not every child responds by talking.
One may cry.
One may ask whether the patient will lose all her hair.
One may immediately ask what is for dinner.
One may become unusually quiet.
Another may want to help with everything.
Children may express feelings through drawings, play, stories, questions, behavior, or physical closeness.
Adults should avoid judging the child's first reaction.
A child who runs off to play may still be frightened.
Play may be how that child copes.
Some children want to talk.
Others need time.
The important thing is to keep the door open.
The Hats Helped Make Cancer Visible but Less Frightening
The hats became a visual tool.
My grandchildren could see that I was still their grandmother.
I looked different, but I was still there.
A soft or colorful hat could make the change feel less medical.
They could help choose one.
They could compliment it.
They could understand that I wore it because the treatment caused my hair to fall out.
The hat gave us something concrete to talk about.
That idea became central to Joey’s Hat Collection.
Finding Free or Low-Cost Wigs, Hats, and Head Coverings
This is one section I especially wanted to add to this article.
When you are newly diagnosed with cancer, you may not know where to find a wig or hat - and you may not have the money to buy one.
Please do not assume that you have to purchase an expensive wig.
There are organizations, cancer centers, hospitals, and community programs that may provide free or low-cost wigs, hats, scarves, or other head coverings.
Programs change, and eligibility requirements vary, so always check the current requirements before applying.
American Cancer Society
The American Cancer Society provides information about wigs, hats, and head coverings and recommends asking your cancer care team about free or low-cost resources in your area. Your local cancer center or support program may know about wig banks and other resources.
EBeauty Community for Cancer Support
EBeauty currently provides free wigs to women undergoing cancer treatment through its Pay It Forward program.
Their current request process asks for documentation from a doctor, social worker, nurse, or nurse navigator, along with photos to help match the wig to your preferred style. EBeauty also works with hospitals and cancer centers around the country.
Hair We Share
Hair We Share provides free human-hair wigs to people experiencing medical hair loss.
Their current eligibility information states that children 18 and younger can receive a wig at no cost with proof of medical hair loss. Adults may qualify based on financial need and approval. A doctor's prescription explaining the reason for hair loss is required.
National Wigs for Cancer Society
The National Wigs for Cancer Society provides wigs to people experiencing cancer-related hair loss at little to no cost and works with insurance providers and donors.
If you do not have insurance, their website advises people to contact them to learn about available options.
CancerCare
CancerCare offers free wig clinics in certain locations and currently provides virtual wig appointments in some areas.
Their free wig clinics are available to eligible women receiving chemotherapy, with current programs in New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut. Because programs and locations can change, check their current information before applying.
Look Good Feel Better
Look Good Feel Better provides free, non-medical programs for people dealing with the visible effects of cancer treatment.
Their workshops include information about wigs, scarves, hats, head coverings, and other appearance-related concerns. They offer both in-person and virtual workshops.
Ask Your Cancer Center
This may be one of the most important suggestions of all.
Ask your oncology social worker, nurse navigator, infusion nurse, or cancer center:
“Do you have a free wig bank or free hats and head coverings for patients?”
Some cancer centers have their own programs.
Some partner with nonprofits.
Some may have donated wigs available.
The American Cancer Society also recommends asking your cancer care team about local resources.
You do not have to be embarrassed to ask.
These resources exist because people understand that cancer treatment can create expenses that patients never expected.
Questions to Ask About Wig Insurance Coverage
If you are considering a wig, call your insurance company before spending a lot of money.
Ask:
Does my policy cover a cranial prosthesis?
Is a prescription required?
What diagnosis or billing code is required?
Must I use an approved provider?
Is prior authorization required?
What is the maximum benefit?
How often is the benefit available?
Do I have to pay first and request reimbursement?
Are synthetic wigs covered?
Are human-hair wigs covered?
Are scarves, hats, or other head coverings covered?
What receipts or medical records are required?
Some insurance companies may cover part or all of a wig, while others may not. The American Cancer Society recommends checking the details of your individual plan and asking whether a prescription or letter is required.
Do not assume your insurance will reimburse you after you buy the wig.
Ask first.
Choosing Between Wigs, Scarves, Hats, and No Covering
There is no universally correct choice.
A patient may choose:
A synthetic wig
A human-hair wig
A scarf
A turban
A soft sleep cap
A sun hat
A knitted or crocheted hat
A baseball cap
No head covering
And the choice can change from day to day.
Comfort, temperature, scalp sensitivity, cost, work, privacy, personal style, cultural practices, and confidence may all influence the decision.
I chose soft hats.
That decision suited me.
Another person may feel stronger in a wig.
Someone else may feel most comfortable going without a head covering.
There is no wrong answer.
A Few Tips for Choosing a Comfortable Hat
If chemotherapy has made your scalp sensitive, comfort may matter more than appearance.
The American Cancer Society recommends looking for soft materials and avoiding scratchy fabrics that can irritate the scalp. A soft liner can also make an unlined hat or wig more comfortable.
You may want different types of head coverings for different situations:
For sleeping: a soft, lightweight cap may be more comfortable.
For cold weather: a warmer hat may help replace some of the insulation your hair once provided.
For sunny days: a hat can help protect your scalp from the sun.
For around the house: you may choose whatever feels most comfortable.
And remember:
You don't have to wear a wig just because someone thinks you should.
You don't have to wear a hat because someone else is uncomfortable seeing your bald head.
You get to choose.
How Coworkers Can Help
A workplace may support a coworker with cancer by:
Collecting money for practical needs
Preparing meals
Donating paid leave when allowed
Giving gift cards
Making soft hats
Providing transportation
Helping with urgent work
Respecting privacy
Keeping the person included
Asking what kind of help is welcome
Avoiding constant questions about the illness
Treating the person as more than a diagnosis
The best support follows the patient's needs rather than assuming everyone wants the same thing.
Kim understood that I needed more than another casserole.
She helped my coworkers prepare me for a visible and emotional part of chemotherapy.
And she gave them a way to say:
We are here.
What I Wish Someone Had Told Me
I wish someone had explained wig insurance before chemotherapy began.
I wish I had known the phrase cranial prosthesis early enough to ask the right questions.
I wish someone had given me a list of soft head coverings and scalp-care options.
I wish I had known there were organizations that might provide free wigs, hats, or scarves.
I wish every family received guidance for talking to children and grandchildren.
And I wish someone had reminded adults that children often want a job, even if that job is only bringing water.
Most of all, I wish families knew that children do not have to stand outside the cancer experience.
They can be included without being burdened.
From My Grandchildren's Love to Another Family's Hands
My grandchildren could not stop my hair from falling out.
They could not make chemotherapy easier on my body.
They helped make it easier on my heart.
Their small actions showed me how much children want to participate when someone they love is sick.
That experience became Joey’s Hat Collection.
I wrote it so another parent or grandparent might have a gentler way to begin a frightening conversation.
I wrote it so a child could see a character who wanted to help.
I wrote it so children could understand that love does not need to be large to matter.
Sometimes love looks like a handmade hat.
Sometimes it looks like a cup of water.
Sometimes it looks like sitting beside someone whose hair is gone and seeing the same person you loved before.
Hope for Today
Chemotherapy may change the way you look.
It does not remove who you are.
A wig may help you recognize yourself.
A scarf may make you feel beautiful.
A soft hat may bring comfort.
A bare head may feel honest and free.
Choose what helps you.
Let people support you in ways that fit your needs.
Talk to the children who love you.
Give them simple truths.
Let them ask questions.
Give them safe ways to help.
And if you need a wig, hat, scarf, or other head covering, ask for help finding one.
You do not have to spend hundreds of dollars simply because you have cancer.
There may be organizations, hospitals, cancer centers, and community programs that can help.
My coworkers helped cover my head.
My grandchildren helped protect my heart.
Both became part of how I survived.
And both became part of the story I wanted to share with other families.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does insurance cover wigs for chemotherapy hair loss?
Some insurance plans cover part or all of the cost of a wig or cranial prosthesis, while others do not. Requirements may include a prescription, approved provider, spending limit, prior authorization, or reimbursement claim. Contact your insurance company before buying an expensive wig.
What is a cranial prosthesis?
A cranial prosthesis is a term that some insurance companies use for a wig or hair prosthesis used because of medically related hair loss. Insurance requirements vary, so ask your insurer what terminology, documentation, and billing information it requires.
Are hats better than wigs during chemotherapy?
Neither is universally better. The right choice depends on comfort, cost, scalp sensitivity, privacy, appearance, temperature, and personal preference.
Where can I find a free wig during cancer treatment?
Start with your cancer center or oncology social worker. You can also investigate organizations such as EBeauty Community, Hair We Share, National Wigs for Cancer Society, and eligible American Cancer Society or local wig-bank resources. Eligibility varies.
Where can I find free hats or scarves during cancer treatment?
Ask your cancer center about donated head coverings and local programs. Look Good Feel Better also provides free education and workshops about wigs and head coverings. Some nonprofit programs may provide free hats or scarves, but programs can change, so verify current availability before applying.
Should children be told that a parent or grandparent has cancer?
Cancer organizations generally recommend honest, age-appropriate explanations. Children often notice that something is wrong, and leaving them without information may lead them to imagine something worse.
Should adults use the word cancer?
Clear language can prevent misunderstandings. The explanation should match the child's age, developmental level, and emotional needs.
What should a child be told about chemotherapy?
A child can be told that chemotherapy is medicine used to treat cancer and that treatment can cause side effects such as tiredness or hair loss. The exact effects depend on the treatment, so your oncology team can help you explain what to expect.
How can a child help someone receiving chemotherapy?
Children can bring water, draw pictures, choose a hat, read stories, make cards, or spend quiet time with the patient. They should not be given adult caregiving responsibilities.
What if I do not know how to talk to my child?
Ask your oncology team, social worker, nurse, child-life specialist, counselor, or another qualified professional for help. The National Cancer Institute and St. Jude also provide resources for talking with children about cancer.
Do I have to wear a wig if I lose my hair?
No.
You can wear a wig, hat, scarf, turban, or nothing at all.
Hair loss is personal.
Your choice is yours.
A Final Note for Anyone Facing Hair Loss
If chemotherapy is about to take your hair, you may be thinking about the loss long before it happens.
I understand.
You may wonder how you will look.
You may wonder what your children or grandchildren will think.
You may wonder what your coworkers will say.
You may wonder if you will still recognize yourself.
I cannot tell you exactly how you will feel.
But I can tell you what I learned.
You can find ways to make the experience your own.
For me, some of those ways were hats.
Some were handmade.
Some were bought.
Some carried memories of the people who gave them to me.
And eventually, those hats became more than something I wore.
They became reminders that I was surrounded by people who loved me.
That is the lesson I carried into Joey’s Hat.
Cancer can take many things away.
But it does not have to take away your ability to choose how you face each day.
Sometimes taking back a little control begins with something as simple as choosing a hat.
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References
American Cancer Society. "Wigs for Hair Loss." www.cancer.org/cancer/side-effects/hair-skin-nails/hair-loss/choosing-and-wearing-wig.html
American Cancer Society. "Hair Loss." www.cancer.org/cancer/side-effects/hair-skin-nails/hair-loss.html
American Cancer Society. "Hair Loss (Alopecia)." www.cancer.org/cancer/side-effects/hair-skin-nails/hair-loss/coping-with-hair-loss.html
American Cancer Society. "Helping Children When Someone They Know Has Cancer." www.cancer.org/cancer/caregivers/helping-children-when-a-family-member-has-cancer.html
National Cancer Institute. "Talking to Children About Your Cancer." www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/coping/adjusting-to-cancer/talk-to-children
National Cancer Institute. "When Someone You Love Is Being Treated for Cancer: Support for Caregivers." www.cancer.gov/publications/patient-education/when-someone-you-love-is-being-treated
National Cancer Institute. "Adjusting to Cancer." www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/coping/adjusting-to-cancer
St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, Together by St. Jude. "How to Talk to Your Child About Cancer." www.together.stjude.org/en-us/emotional-support-daily-life/parents/talking-to-your-child-about-cancer.html
St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, Together by St. Jude. "Age-Appropriate Information About Childhood Cancer." www.together.stjude.org/en-us/emotional-support-daily-life/parents/talking-to-your-child-about-cancer/age-appropriate-information.html
EBeauty Community for Cancer Support. "Request a Wig." www.ebeauty.com
Hair We Share. "Apply for a Free Wig for Medical Hair Loss." www.hairweshare.org
CancerCare. "Wig and Prosthesis Resources." www.cancercare.org
Look Good Feel Better. "Program Offerings." www.lookgoodfeelbetter.org
About the Author:
Deborah Ann Martin is the founder of Surviving Life Lessons, a published author, poet, speaker, and trainer with over 20 years of management experience across multiple industries. An MBA graduate, U.S. veteran, single mother, and rare cancer survivor, Deborah brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her writing on resilience, leadership, personal growth, and overcoming adversity. Her mission is to empower others with practical wisdom and real-life insight to navigate life’s challenges with strength and purpose.
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