Turning Setbacks into Setups
- Deborah Ann Martin
- 7 days ago
- 4 min read
If there’s one lesson life never gets tired of teaching me, it’s this:
What feels like a setback today might just be a setup for something better tomorrow.
It’s hard to see that when you’re in the middle of it when everything’s falling apart, when doors close, when plans crumble. In those moments, all you can see is loss. But over and over again, I’ve learned that God doesn’t waste anything.
Every setback has a purpose, even if we can’t see it yet.
When Everything Feels Like It’s Falling Apart
I’ve had my share of disappointments jobs that didn’t work out, relationships that ended, opportunities that slipped away. Each time, I thought it was the end of something good.
But looking back, I can see how every closed door was redirecting me toward something greater.
When my marriage ended, I thought I’d lost everything stability, partnership, a sense of identity. But that heartbreak became the very thing that taught me independence, courage, and faith.
When I got cancer, I thought my story was over. Instead, it became the beginning of a new chapter one where I found purpose in helping others through my writing and my voice.
Sometimes the worst thing that happens to you turns out to be the best thing for you.
The Waiting Season
The hardest part of any setback is the waiting that in-between season when nothing makes sense yet. You’re trying to move forward, but the road feels foggy.
That’s when faith is tested the most.
In those waiting seasons, I’ve learned to pray not just for answers, but for patience. Because the truth is, growth happens in the quiet, confusing spaces not when everything is going right, but when everything feels uncertain.
It’s in those moments that you find out what you’re really made of and Who’s really carrying you through it.
Learning to See the Lesson
It’s easy to replay failures over and over in your mind, asking “Why did this happen?” or “What did I do wrong?” But the real power comes when you start asking, “What can I learn from this?”
That shift changes everything.
When you see setbacks as lessons instead of punishments, you start to grow stronger instead of bitter.
Every time I’ve been knocked down, I’ve gained something patience, wisdom, empathy, humility, or a deeper relationship with God. Those lessons don’t come from the easy times. They’re built in the hard ones.
God’s Redirections
I used to pray for God to fix situations now I pray for Him to guide me through them.
Sometimes He closes a door because He knows what’s on the other side isn’t meant for you. Sometimes He lets something fall apart because He knows you were meant to build something stronger.
When I moved to West Virginia after my divorce, people thought I was running away. What they didn’t realize was that I was running toward something a new beginning, a fresh start, a chance to find peace.
That move was one of the best decisions of my life. It gave me independence, growth, and a deeper faith that I never would have found if everything had stayed “comfortable.”
God uses detours to get us where we need to be.
The Power of Perspective in Setbacks
Every time something didn’t work out, I eventually saw why. The job I didn’t get left room for the one that fit my purpose. The people who left made space for better ones to come. The plans that fell through pushed me in a new direction I never would’ve chosen on my own.
If I had gotten everything I thought I wanted, I would’ve missed everything I actually needed.
Now, when things don’t go as planned, I try to remind myself — it’s not rejection, it’s redirection.
What You Can Try Today
Think of one past setback. Write down what you learned from it.
Pray for clarity, not control. Ask God to show you what’s next, not to rewind what’s gone.
Say this truth: “This isn’t the end it’s the beginning of something better.”
Reframe failure as feedback. What didn’t work taught you something that will.
Trust God’s timing. Delays aren’t denial they’re preparation.
Stop comparing. Everyone’s path unfolds differently.
Remember your past comebacks. You’ve bounced back before; you will again.
Be patient with the process. Growth takes time.
Celebrate progress, not perfection. Every step forward counts.
Keep the faith. Sometimes the miracle is just around the corner.
The Beauty of the Comeback
Setbacks hurt. There’s no sugarcoating that. But they’re not the end of your story they’re the part where your strength starts to show.
Every time you’ve been knocked down and got back up, you’ve rewritten your own ending. You’ve proven that broken things can still be beautiful and that purpose can grow from pain.
You may not have chosen your storms, but you can choose how you rise from them.
And one day, when you look back, you’ll realize those setbacks were never meant to stop you — they were setting you up for everything you were meant to become.
Support on Your Journey
Healing gets lighter when you walk with others who understand. Join one of our Surviving Life Lessons Community Groups, safe spaces where stories connect, encouragement flows, and support is mutual.
Every group is unique, but they all share one mission: to help people grow stronger together. You’ll find a place where your story matters where you can both receive and give hope.
Find your group today and start building a community that helps you keep standing—no matter what life brings.
When life feels heavy, you don’t always need advice, but you just need someone to care. That’s what Neighbor Chat is for.
We’re not doctors, lawyers, or counselors. We’re just real people—neighbors who listen without judgment and offer space to breathe . Whether you’re struggling, processing, or just need to talk, you’ll be met with empathy and kindness.
It’s not therapy. It’s a connection. Because sometimes, being heard is where healing begins.
Schedule your Neighbor Chat today and experience what it feels like to simply be listened to.
Because healing happens best in connection with yourself, and with others who understand.
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