The Lump on My Back: The Promise That Made Me Show It to the Cancer Doctor
How the Lump on My Back Became an Important Part of My Cancer Story
By the time my oldest son Chris and I reached my first appointment with the gynecologic oncologist, I had already spent weeks waiting.
An MRI had revealed three large masses in my abdomen. Cancer had not been confirmed, but I believed that was what we were facing. I wanted someone to tell me what the masses were, when they could be removed, and what would happen next.
Instead, we were placed in the wrong examination room and forgotten.
We waited for an hour and a half before the doctor finally came to see us.
That alone would have made the appointment difficult. However, there was another concern I needed to mention. My youngest son Kyle had discovered a lump on my back, and he had made me promise that I would show it to the cancer doctor.
I did not know it at the time, but keeping that promise would become one of the most important decisions of my life.
We Waited in the Wrong Room
During COVID, A nurse took my son Chris and me into an examination room.
Then no one came back.
We waited.
An hour passed.
At first, we tried to be patient. Medical offices were dealing with COVID-19 restrictions, staffing challenges, additional safety protocols, and the stress of caring for people during a pandemic.
Still, we had been waiting a long time.
Finally, Chris left the room to find someone.
He began asking staff members why his mother had been sitting alone in an examination room for more than an hour. That was when he learned we had apparently been taken to the wrong floor or placed in a room where the doctor did not know we were waiting.
The doctor was somewhere else in the building.
No one had told her we were there.
My Son Heard Them Blaming Us
While Chris was trying to get help, he overheard people talking about us.
According to what he heard, the doctor was frustrated because she had been told we were late. Now she would have to work us into her schedule.
We had not been late.
We had arrived and followed the staff member who took us to the wrong room.
Chris returned upset.
“Mom,” he said, and then he told me what he had heard.
He was angry because we had done what we were supposed to do. We had arrived for an appointment that already carried enormous emotional weight. Then we had been forgotten, and it sounded as though we were being blamed for the delay.
I tried to calm him down.
“Maybe she is stressed”, I told him. “Maybe she is just having one of those days. We will see how she is.”
I did not know what had happened behind the scenes. I only knew that I needed this doctor.
I needed answers.
I needed surgery.
I needed someone to help me understand what was growing inside my body.
I could not afford to let the confusion in the office prevent me from receiving care.
Both Chris and I were on edge, wanting answers.
We had waited, and now all we cared about was this doctor letting us know what we were going to do about the masses in my abdomen.
The Lump Kyle Had Found
That morning before the appointment, I had been having pain in my back and I asked Kyle if he would use the massage roller to help what I thought was a sore muscle. He noticed an abnormal lump.
I did not think it was connected to the masses in my abdomen.
I had been kayaking, and I thought the bump might have come from that. Perhaps I had strained something, hit my back, or developed some ordinary problem that required a different kind of doctor.
Kyle did not want me to dismiss it.
“Mom, promise me you will have the doctor look at it”, he said.
“That is a cancer doctor”, I told him. “It is probably related to kayaking”.
I thought we might need to make another appointment with someone else.
Kyle continued trying to reason with me.
“If you have the cancer doctor look at it, she might at least be able to tell you what kind of doctor you need to see.”
Then he asked me again to promise.
“Fine”, I said. “I promise I will ask the doctor".
At the time, it felt like one more thing to remember during an appointment that was already overwhelming.
But a promise is a promise.
All I Wanted to Know Was When They Would Remove the Masses
When the doctor finally entered the room, the appointment focused on the abdominal masses and the surgery ahead.
She explained that the masses needed to be removed.
After surgery, tissue would be examined by pathology to determine what the masses were. Only after the doctors knew exactly what they were dealing with could they make decisions about additional treatment.
There were still too many unknowns.
The surgery was about a month away.
That felt like a long time when I already knew there were three large masses inside me. My mind kept returning to the same question.
When are you going to take these things out of me?
The doctor was ready to bring the appointment to a close when I remembered my promise to Kyle.
I Did Not Want to Ask the Cranky Doctor One More Question
I was already uneasy because of what Chris had overheard.
The doctor seemed frustrated and ready to finish the visit. I did not want to create another issue or give her one more reason to be annoyed.
But I had promised my son.
I explained it as gently as I could.
“I promised my son I would ask you to look at something”, I said. “There is a bump on my back. Would you mind looking at it and telling me what I need to do or which doctor I should see? That way I can make my son happy”.
She agreed.
I lifted my clothing enough for her to examine the area. She felt around the lump on my back.
Then she said it could be biopsied.
Because my abdominal surgery was still about a month away, she believed the biopsy could probably be scheduled sooner. She explained that it could be performed using a needle and local numbing medicine. Depending on the available options, sedation might also be possible.
I agreed to have it done.
I had walked into that appointment thinking the lump was probably related to kayaking.
I left with a biopsy scheduled.
Why a Biopsy Was Needed
A biopsy removes cells, fluid, or tissue so a pathologist can examine the sample and help determine what an abnormal area contains. Imaging can show where a mass is located and describe its appearance, but pathology is often needed to identify what the tissue actually is.
Needle biopsies may use ultrasound or another imaging method to guide the needle into the correct part of a mass. Local anesthesia is commonly used to numb the path of the needle. Some procedures may also offer mild, moderate, or deeper sedation, depending on the biopsy location, medical setting, patient needs, and safety considerations.
I did not understand all of those distinctions at the time.
I only understood that the doctor wanted a sample of the lump.
I Chose to Stay Awake
On the day of the biopsy, one of my children went with me.
I had been told there could be an option to receive medication that would allow me to sleep or be more heavily sedated. I decided I did not need it.
I thought local numbing medicine would be enough.
People often hear the words “local anesthesia” and assume the procedure will be painless. Local medicine is intended to numb a specific area, but the experience can vary depending on where the mass is located, how deep the needle must travel, how many samples are required, and how an individual's body responds. Image-guided biopsy information commonly explains that patients may still feel pressure or discomfort during needle placement and tissue sampling.
In my case, the local medicine did not control all of the pain.
It Looked Like a Small Operating Room
The biopsy took place in a room that felt similar to an operating room, although it was not major surgery.
The medical team used ultrasound to locate the lump and guide the needle to specific areas. A pathology professional was also present to evaluate whether enough tissue had been collected.
That detail mattered.
The goal was not simply to insert a needle once and stop. They needed enough useful tissue for the pathologist to examine.
Ultrasound-guided biopsies allow the physician to watch the needle move toward the abnormal area and collect samples from the intended location. Several tissue samples may be taken during a core needle biopsy.
I lay as still as I could while they worked.
Then someone asked me an unexpected question.
“Do you still have your uterus?”
“No", I answered. “I had a hysterectomy”.
I explained that I had previously been told I had a fibroid and that my uterus had been removed.
Her response changed the atmosphere for me.
“Oh,” she said.
Then she told me she needed to collect more tissue.
“This Is Going to Hurt”
The woman explained that she needed a larger or better sample from the lump.
She warned me that it was going to hurt.
Not just a little.
She told me it was going to hurt badly, and she apologized before beginning.
She also told me I had to remain as still as possible. If they missed the correct area or failed to collect enough tissue, they might have to do it again.
I said okay.
What else could I say?
I wanted answers.
I wanted them to get the tissue they needed.
I did not want to return and repeat the procedure.
They gave me more local numbing injections, but those injections did not touch all the pain I felt as they worked deeper inside the lump, trying to remove enough material for testing.
I tried to remain still.
I tried not to cry.
But I cried.
Crying During a Painful Procedure Is Not Weakness
There can be pressure to prove that we are strong during cancer testing.
We may believe we should remain quiet, control our faces, and tolerate whatever happens without reacting. We may worry that crying will make us seem weak or difficult.
Pain is pain.
Fear is fear.
Crying is a normal human response to both.
I was not failing because I cried.
I was holding my body still while someone repeatedly placed a needle into a suspicious mass on my back. I was also carrying the fear of three abdominal masses, the recent death of my mother, concern for my children, and the possibility that my entire life was changing.
Those tears were not caused by the needle alone.
They held everything.
What I Would Tell Someone Preparing for a Biopsy
My experience does not mean every needle biopsy will be severely painful.
Some people report only pressure or mild discomfort. Others experience more significant pain. The procedure, location, size of the mass, number of samples, anxiety level, and anesthesia plan can all affect the experience.
However, I would never tell someone to assume that local numbing medicine will remove every sensation.
Ask questions before the procedure.
Ask What Type of Biopsy You Are Having
Find out whether the doctor plans to perform:
A fine needle aspiration
A core needle biopsy
An incisional biopsy
An excisional biopsy
An ultrasound guided biopsy
A CT guided biopsy
Another type of image guided procedure
Different biopsy methods collect different amounts and types of tissue. NCI explains that some biopsies remove cells or fluid, while others collect a core or larger piece of tissue for examination.
Ask About Every Pain Control Option
Do not ask only, “Will you numb it?”
Ask:
Will I receive local anesthesia?
Is light or moderate sedation available?
Will I remain fully awake?
What sensations should I expect?
How many samples are usually taken?
What happens if the local anesthesia is not enough?
Can you pause and give me more numbing medicine?
Will someone be monitoring my comfort throughout the procedure?
Sedation and anesthesia are not appropriate or necessary for every biopsy. They also involve different risks, preparation requirements, monitoring, and transportation needs. The medical team should help determine the safest option for the individual patient and procedure.
Be Honest About Anxiety and Previous Pain
Tell the medical team if you:
Have had severe pain during past procedures
Have difficulty remaining still
Are extremely anxious
Have had problems with local anesthesia
Have a history of fainting during procedures
Have trauma that could make the procedure harder
Want to understand sedation options
The team cannot consider needs they do not know about.
Ask Whether You Need a Driver
Sedation may affect your ability to drive, make decisions, work, or safely travel alone afterward. Ask before the procedure whether someone must bring you home and remain with you.
Review Medications Before the Procedure
Tell the team about prescription medications, over the counter drugs, vitamins, supplements, aspirin, anticoagulants, and any allergies. Do not stop prescribed medication unless the medical team specifically instructs you to do so.
RadiologyInfo advises patients to provide a complete medication history before image-guided biopsies because some medicines, especially those affecting bleeding, may require special instructions.
Ask How Results Will Be Delivered
Before leaving, find out:
Who will call with the results?
About how long might pathology take?
Will the result appear in the patient portal first?
Who will explain the medical terms?
Will I need another appointment?
What should I do if no one contacts me?
Waiting is difficult enough without wondering whether someone forgot to call.
Why Kyle’s Promise Mattered
Had Kyle not noticed the lump, I might not have mentioned it.
Had he not asked me to promise, I might have decided the doctor was too irritated to hear one more concern.
Had he not gone searching through the office, we might have remained forgotten in the wrong room even longer.
Kyle was not a doctor.
He did not know what the lump was.
But he noticed something.
He cared enough to insist that I ask.
He understood something that many of us forget: a medical appointment is not the time to leave an important symptom unmentioned simply because the doctor appears busy, rushed, stressed, or ready to leave.
My fear of bothering the doctor did not make the lump less important either.
The office mistake did not make my concern less valid.
My embarrassment did not make the bump disappear.
When a Doctor Seems Rushed or Irritated
Healthcare professionals are human. They experience difficult days, unexpected schedule changes, emergencies, staffing shortages, and personal stress.
Patients are human too.
A patient facing possible cancer may already be frightened, overwhelmed, and struggling to remember basic information. A rushed tone or irritated expression can make that patient afraid to ask the very question that needs to be asked.
I chose to give the doctor room for the possibility that she was having a difficult day.
At the same time, I still needed to tell her about the lump.
Both things could be true.
She could be stressed.
The lump could still need medical attention.
Being compassionate toward a healthcare provider does not require a patient to remain silent.
A Simple Way to Raise One More Concern
When an appointment appears to be ending, you can say:
“Before we finish, there is one more symptom I need to mention.”
Or:
“I know we have covered a lot, but someone close to me noticed a new lump. I would feel better if you examined it or told me who should.”
Or:
“I understand this may not be connected, but because of what is happening with my health, I do not want to ignore it.”
You do not need to apologize for reporting a genuine medical concern.
What Support People Should Know
A support person can do more than listen during the appointment.
They can:
Notice symptoms the patient cannot easily see
Help prepare questions
Write down medical information
Recognize when the patient has forgotten something
Respectfully ask staff about an unusual delay
Help the patient speak when fear takes over
Make sure important concerns are raised before leaving
Help review instructions afterward
The National Cancer Institute encourages patients to bring someone who can listen, take notes, and help ask questions during important cancer related appointments.
Kyle did all of that for me.
He was not merely sitting in the room.
He was advocating for his mother.
What I Wish Someone Had Told Me
I wish someone had told me that local anesthesia does not guarantee that every biopsy will feel painless.
I wish someone had encouraged me to ask more detailed questions about sedation and pain control.
I wish I had understood that saying, “I am hurting,” would not make me difficult.
I also wish someone had told me never to leave an appointment without mentioning the concern I brought with me, even when the doctor seemed rushed or unhappy.
Most importantly, I am grateful that my son did not let me dismiss the lump.
He saw something on my back that I could not see clearly for myself.
He made me promise.
I kept that promise.
Hope for Today
Sometimes the person who helps us recognize something important isn't a doctor.
It may be a child, spouse, friend, coworker, or family member who notices a change and refuses to let us brush it aside.
Listen to the people who know you well.
Listen to your body.
Mention the new lump.
Ask the extra question.
Keep the promise.
You may feel embarrassed.
The doctor may appear rushed.
The appointment may already be running late.
None of those things are more important than making sure a concerning change is examined.
I thought the bump on my back might be related to kayaking.
My son thought it deserved a doctor's attention.
Thank God I listened to my son.
Sometimes advocacy begins with someone simply saying,
“Promise me you'll have that checked.”
I'm grateful I kept that promise.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does a lump automatically mean cancer?
No. Lumps can have many causes, including cysts, infections, inflammation, fatty growths, injuries, and both benign and malignant tumors. A healthcare professional may use an examination, imaging, biopsy, or other testing to determine what a particular lump is.
Why is pathology necessary after a biopsy?
A pathologist examines the collected cells or tissue under a microscope and may perform additional laboratory testing. This can help identify whether the tissue is benign, malignant, inflammatory, infectious, or another type of abnormality.
Will an image guided needle biopsy hurt?
Experiences vary. Local anesthesia is generally used to numb the area, but patients may still feel pressure, pulling, or discomfort during needle placement and sample collection. Some biopsies may allow sedation, depending on the procedure and the patient’s needs.
Can I ask for sedation?
You can ask about it. Whether sedation is offered or recommended depends on the type and location of the biopsy, your medical condition, the facility, safety considerations, and the need for you to remain responsive during the procedure. Discuss the options before the procedure date.
What should I do if the procedure becomes too painful?
Tell the medical team immediately. Ask whether they can pause, provide more numbing medicine, adjust the approach, or use another comfort measure. Do not assume you must remain silent.
Should I bring someone with me?
Ask the facility about its policies. A support person may help with transportation, questions, emotional support, and remembering instructions. Someone will generally need to drive you if you receive sedation that affects alertness.
Support on Your Journey
Serious medical testing can be frightening, especially when you are already waiting for another possible cancer diagnosis.
You deserve support from people who will notice, listen, speak up, and remain beside you when your strength begins to run low.
Surviving Life Lessons was created around the belief that people who have lived through difficult experiences can help those who are still walking through them. Sometimes help begins with medical information. Sometimes it begins with someone saying, “Please promise me you will have that checked.”
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References
National Cancer Institute. "Tests and Procedures Used to Diagnose Cancer."
National Cancer Institute. "Surgical Pathology Reports."
https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/diagnosis-staging/surgical-pathology
National Cancer Institute, SEER Training Modules. "Diagnostic Surgery."
Radiological Society of North America and American College of Radiology. "General Biopsy."
Radiological Society of North America and American College of Radiology. "Ultrasound Guided Biopsy."
American Cancer Society. "How Is a Biopsy Done?"
https://www.cancer.org/cancer/diagnosis-staging/biopsy/how-biopsies-are-done.html
Cleveland Clinic. "Biopsy."
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diagnostics/17652-biopsy
National Leiomyosarcoma Foundation. "New Diagnosis / Treatment and Patient Resources."
About the Author:
Deborah Ann Martin is the founder of Surviving Life Lessons, a published author, poet, speaker, and trainer with over 20 years of management experience across multiple industries. An MBA graduate, U.S. veteran, single mother, and rare cancer survivor, Deborah brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her writing on resilience, leadership, personal growth, and overcoming adversity. Her mission is to empower others with practical wisdom and real-life insight to navigate life’s challenges with strength and purpose.
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