What Are You Really Afraid Of? Overcoming Fear to Live Authentically

Fear protects us—but it also keeps us stuck. Let’s change that.

Fear is a natural part of being human. It helps us survive. It tells us when something’s dangerous. It kicks in when we’re under pressure, uncertain, or at risk. But here’s the hard truth: the same fear that protects us can also prevent us from becoming who we’re meant to be.

This post kicks off our Facing Yourself series—where we explore how emotions like fear, anxiety, and shame don’t just affect us... they shape us. But once you start to name what you’re afraid of, you can learn how to move forward—even if you’re still afraid.

Facing the unknown—ready for what comes next.

Fear Isn’t the Enemy—But It’s Not the Boss Either

Fear shows up to help. It says:

• “That’s unsafe.”

• “You might get hurt.”

• “You’ve never done this before—what if you fail?”

Fear isn’t evil. It’s instinct. But instinct is meant to protect, not to rule.

When fear becomes your decision-maker, you start living from a place of survival instead of discovery.

You stop applying. You stop dreaming. You stop speaking up. You stop showing up.

And eventually, you stop believing you’re capable of more.

Fight, Flight, or Freeze—How Fear Hijacks Your Life

When fear is triggered, your body reacts in three common ways:

• Fight: You get aggressive, combative, or defensive—even if the situation doesn’t need it.

• Flight: You run from discomfort, physically or emotionally. You ghost people, cancel opportunities, or avoid conversations.

• Freeze: You shut down completely. You procrastinate, feel paralyzed, and struggle to make even small decisions.

These responses are rooted in protection, but they often block us from what we need most: connection, growth, and healing.

How Fear Held Me Back—Until I Refused to Let It

There were times when fear completely ruled my life. I’m not talking about surface-level stuff—I mean deep, soul-gripping fear that made me freeze, doubt, and shut down before I even started.

I’ve been writing since I was a child—poems, stories, thoughts that I never dared let anyone see. Writing was my secret place. But fear kept it hidden. I worried people would judge it, misunderstand it, or just not care.

Then came cancer.

When I was first diagnosed, I started gathering my poems, putting them into books for my kids—just in case. I wanted them to have a piece of me if I didn’t make it. That led to children’s books, poetry collections, and more projects I never imagined I’d share.

And then... my cancer came back.

I realized all the lessons I had learned—the hard-earned wisdom, the years of research, the personal growth I fought tooth and nail for—it could all die with me. Everything I had been through... would be gone.

So, on April 1, 2025, I made a decision to be a fool and go "all in": I would overcome my fear and start blogging, and do whatever it took to start these Groups and Services on this website.

I was terrified. Still am.

• I’m afraid of sharing too much about my personal life.

• I’m afraid someone will judge my poetry now that it’s in public books.

• I’m afraid of failure—and just as afraid of success.

• I worry about making spelling errors, saying the wrong thing, and unintentionally offending someone.

• I’m scared this site won’t grow, or that I’ll disappoint the people I'm doing it for.

• I fear I won’t get enough help to build the support groups.

• I fear I’ll run out of money before I can get it off the ground.

• I fear that time will run out before I can get all these stories, tools, and truths onto paper.

• I fear the "Debbie-isms"-saying "like", "um", fumbling with my words, or repeating what I say 3 different ways to make sure someone understands me.

But I did it anyway.

Because if one person reads something I wrote and it helps them heal, then none of the fear wins.

Fear didn’t magically go away when I started this journey. I just stopped letting it be in charge. And that’s what courage really is.

Steps for Overcoming Fear and Moving Forward

Overcoming fear isn’t about pretending it doesn’t exist. It’s about understanding it, honoring why it showed up, and choosing to keep going anyway. These steps can help you reclaim your power and take back your life—even if fear still rides along.

1. Name What You’re Actually Afraid Of

Ask yourself: What am I really afraid will happen if I do this?

It might not be failure—it might be judgment. It might not be danger—it might be disappointment. Naming it takes away some of its power.

2. Take Action in Micro-Steps

Fear grows in stillness. Start by doing one small thing that moves you forward.

• Send the email.

• Make the phone call.

• Sign up for the class.

• Say the truth—once.

You don’t need a leap. You need a step.

3. Ask: Is This a Real Threat or a Habitual Fear?

Fear feels the same in the body, whether it’s a real threat or just an old wound being triggered. Ask: “Am I in danger—or just uncomfortable?”

Discomfort isn’t a stop sign. It’s often a doorway.

4. Imagine Your Life Without the Fear

What would you do if fear didn’t get the final say? Let your imagination go there .Let yourself want something new. That vision becomes your motivation.

Support on Your Journey

If fear is still making the decisions in your life, you’re not broken—you’re in survival mode.

Neighbor Talk Coaching gives you space to say the scary thing out loud. We can work through the fear together and help you start making moves toward what you actually want, not just what feels safest.

FOR MORE INFORMATION

[Book a Neighbor Talk Session – Your next step doesn’t have to be alone.]

Healing & Journaling Tool: “Facing My Fear”

Prompt: Think about something you’ve been avoiding out of fear.

• What are you really afraid will happen?

• What has that fear cost you—emotionally, financially, socially, or spiritually?

• What small step could you take this week to move toward the thing you’ve been avoiding?

• What is fear preventing you from doing? Explain that fear.

(This will be saved to your journal doc.)

You Don’t Have to Be Fearless—You Just Have to Be Willing

Courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s choosing yourself anyway. It’s showing up even when your voice shakes. It’s stepping forward—not because you’re ready, but because you’re worth the effort.

You can still be scared and still be brave.