How to Cope When You're Waiting for Test Results, Appointments, or a Diagnosis
The Waiting Is Its Own Kind of Fear: What I Learned Before I Had Answers
Waiting may be one of the hardest parts of a medical journey.
People often assume the hardest moment is the day you receive a diagnosis. In my experience, there is another season that can be just as frightening the time when you know something is wrong, but you don't know what it is yet.
You are waiting for the ultrasound.
Waiting for the MRI.
Waiting for the appointment.
Waiting for the doctor to call.
Waiting for someone to finally tell you what is happening inside your body.
And while you wait, life doesn't stop.
You still go to work. You make dinner. You take care of your family. You answer the phone. You smile when someone asks how you're doing.
But inside, your mind keeps returning to the same questions:
What if it's serious?
What if my life is about to change?
What if I'm worrying for nothing?
I know that waiting because I've lived it.
For more than a year after my surgery, life had returned to normal. Then I experienced one unusual symptom that didn't make sense.
My doctor ordered an ultrasound.
I expected it to come back normal.
It didn't.
While I was away with my daughter and grandchildren over Memorial Day weekend, I received a phone call asking me to return home immediately. My doctor had reviewed the ultrasound and wanted a stat MRI because she had found a large mass and was concerned there could be more.
My ordinary weekend suddenly became filled with uncertainty.
The MRI showed multiple masses.
But I still didn't have a diagnosis.
I didn't know exactly what was happening.
I only knew something was wrong.
And my mind was already racing far ahead of the facts.
Looking back, I realize I wasn't simply waiting for test results.
I was waiting for my future to become clear.
If you're waiting for medical answers right now, I want you to know something I wish I had understood then:
You don't have to figure out your entire future while you're waiting for today's answer.
Sometimes you only have to get through the next step.
My Waiting Began With One Ultrasound
For more than a year after my surgery, life had returned to normal. Then I experienced one unusual symptom that didn't make sense.
My doctor agreed to order an ultrasound.
I honestly expected it to come back normal.
Instead, while I was away with my daughter and grandchildren over Memorial Day weekend, I received a phone call asking me to return home immediately. My doctor had reviewed the ultrasound and wanted a stat MRI because she had found a large mass and was concerned there could be more.
Within a very short time, my ordinary weekend became filled with uncertainty.
The MRI showed multiple masses.
I still didn't have a diagnosis.
I still didn't know exactly what was happening.
But my mind was already racing far ahead of the facts.
Looking back, I realize I wasn't just waiting for test results.
I was waiting for my future to become clear.
Why Waiting Feels So Overwhelming
Uncertainty is difficult because our brains naturally try to fill in the blanks.
When we don't have answers, we often create our own.
Sometimes those imagined answers are worse than reality.
Other times we convince ourselves everything must be fine.
Our emotions can swing back and forth between hope and fear several times in the same day.
That doesn't mean you're weak.
It means you're human.
Give Yourself Permission to Feel
Many people think they have to stay strong every minute.
They believe crying means they're giving up.
I don't believe that.
There is a difference between feeling fear and surrendering to fear.
Allow yourself to acknowledge what you're feeling.
Talk to someone you trust.
Write your thoughts in a journal.
Pray if your faith is important to you.
Ignoring your emotions rarely makes them disappear.
Focus on the Next Step
One lesson I learned is that I couldn't solve everything at once.
I couldn't answer questions that even my doctors didn't have answers to yet.
The only thing I could do was take the next step.
Attend the MRI.
Wait for the results.
Meet the specialist.
Ask my questions.
Sometimes the next step is enough.
Be Careful What You Read Online
When people are frightened, it's natural to search the internet.
The internet can be helpful.
It can also be overwhelming.
Remember that many of the stories you read online represent one person's experience, not everyone's.
Some information may be outdated.
Some may not apply to your specific condition.
Choose trusted organizations that provide evidence-based information and discuss what you learn with your healthcare team.
Lean on Your Support System
You were never meant to carry difficult news alone.
Whether your support comes from family, friends, your church, a support group, or a trusted neighbor, let people walk beside you.
Many people want to help but don't know how.
Sometimes all you need to say is:
"I don't need answers today. I just need someone to listen."
Practical Ways to Cope While Waiting
Here are a few things that helped me and may help you:
Keep a notebook with your questions.
Write down appointment dates and test results.
Limit how often you search the internet.
Spend time doing activities that calm your mind.
Continue your normal routines as much as possible.
Accept help when people offer it.
Take one day at a time instead of trying to solve next month today.
Questions to Ask While You're Waiting
Sometimes knowing what to ask can reduce anxiety.
Consider asking your healthcare provider:
When should I expect my results?
Who will contact me?
What happens after this test?
Should I continue my normal activities?
Are there symptoms that should prompt me to call sooner?
Having a plan often makes the waiting feel more manageable.
What I Wish Someone Had Told Me
Waiting is part of the journey.
It doesn't mean you're forgotten.
It doesn't mean nothing is happening.
Behind the scenes, doctors, nurses, radiologists, pathologists, and laboratory professionals are gathering the information needed to give you the most accurate answers possible.
Those answers take time.
Hope for Today
If you're waiting today, I want to encourage you with something I have learned over the years.
Don't let tomorrow steal all of today's peace.
That doesn't mean pretending everything is okay.
It means choosing not to live every hour inside a future that hasn't happened yet.
You only have to live today once.
Give yourself permission to find moments of peace, laughter, and hope, even while you're waiting.
I'd Love to Hear From You
What has been the hardest part of waiting for medical answers?
Did someone say or do something that helped you through that season?
Your story may bring comfort to another reader who is walking through the same uncertainty.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it normal to feel anxious while waiting for test results?
Yes. Many people experience anxiety, fear, frustration, or emotional ups and downs while waiting for medical information. If those feelings become overwhelming or begin affecting your daily life, speak with your healthcare provider or a mental health professional.
How can family members help someone who is waiting?
Sometimes the best support is simply being present. Offer to attend appointments, help take notes, prepare meals, or provide a listening ear without trying to solve every problem.
Find Your Community
No one should have to face life's challenges alone. At Surviving Life Lessons, we believe in life survivors helping life strugglers. Explore our growing Community Groups to connect with others who understand your journey, share encouragement, and find hope through meaningful conversations. You'll also have the opportunity to introduce yourself and share your own story of overcoming. Your story matters. It may be the encouragement someone else needs to keep moving forward, reminding them that they are not alone and that hope is always possible.
Your Story Matters
We need your nice comments below! Your thoughts, experiences, and lessons learned might be exactly what someone else needs to hear today.
Drop a comment, Say Hello, and join the conversation.
Need More Personalized Support?
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Helpful Resources for Your Journey
Explore our collection of books, journals, coloring books, and printable PDFs designed to encourage, inspire, and support you every step of the way.
References
National Cancer Institute. “Coping with Cancer and Emotions.”
American Cancer Society. “Anxiety, Fear, and Emotional Support.”
www.cancer.org/treatment/support-programs-and-services/anxiety-fear-and-depression.html
CancerCare. “Counseling, Education, and Support Services.”
Foundation for Women’s Cancer. “Patient Education Resources.”
www.foundationforwomenscancer.org/education/patient-education/
National Comprehensive Cancer Network (NCCN). “NCCN Guidelines for Patients.”
About the Author:
Deborah Ann Martin is the founder of Surviving Life Lessons, a published author, poet, speaker, and trainer with over 20 years of management experience across multiple industries. An MBA graduate, U.S. veteran, single mother, and rare cancer survivor, Deborah brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her writing on resilience, leadership, personal growth, and overcoming adversity. Her mission is to empower others with practical wisdom and real-life insight to navigate life’s challenges with strength and purpose.
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