Complimenting Others: How Simple Words Can Change Someone’s Day
- Deborah Ann Martin
- Nov 14
- 6 min read
For a long time, I spent life looking down. Part of it was habit. I grew up going barefoot, and after stepping on more than one nail, I learned to keep my eyes on the ground. But another part was deeper. I looked down because I did not feel like I was enough. I avoided eye contact. I walked through the world hoping not to be noticed.
It took time, growth, and self-reflection to realize that I was good enough exactly as I was. Once that truth began to sink in, I started looking up. I learned to hold my head straight, to look people in the eye, and to smile. At first, it felt uncomfortable, like trying on a new version of myself. But soon it became natural. The more I looked up, the more I saw.
I began to notice people. Their hairstyles, their clothes, their tattoos, their shoes, their laughter. One day I saw a woman with a beautiful haircut and told her so. Her whole face lit up. Another time I complimented a man on his shiny car, and he spent ten minutes telling me about how hard he had worked to restore it. I started seeing gardens that showed hours of care, porches full of flowers, and houses with character. Each time I complimented someone honestly, I got to see their pride, their stories, and sometimes even their struggles.
That is when I realized the power of a compliment. It is small, free, and immediate, yet it can change a person’s entire day.
The Power of a Simple Compliment
In a world where so many people feel invisible, a compliment says, “I see you.” It acknowledges effort, creativity, and personality. It reminds people that what they do and who they are matters.
The American Psychological Association notes that being recognized or praised, even briefly, boosts self-esteem and motivation. Compliments activate the same parts of the brain as receiving a monetary reward. In other words, kind words actually trigger happiness.
But it is not only the receiver who benefits. Complimenting others improves the giver’s mood as well. According to research from the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, giving genuine praise increases empathy and strengthens relationships. When you look for the good in others, you also start to see more good in yourself.
How Compliments Help You Discover Who You Are
Complimenting others teaches you to be present. You cannot notice someone’s new haircut or beautiful garden if you are lost in your own thoughts. When you slow down enough to look at people, you start noticing beauty everywhere.
Each compliment you give also reveals something about your values. Do you appreciate creativity, effort, kindness, or confidence? The things that draw your attention often mirror what you value inside. Learning to notice those details helps you understand yourself better.
When I first started looking up, I thought I was just practicing confidence. But over time I realized I was practicing connection. I was learning to engage with the world instead of hiding from it. And in doing so, I discovered that I am a person who loves people’s stories, who enjoys finding beauty in small things, and who wants to make others smile.
How Compliments Help Others
When you compliment someone, you might be interrupting a bad day with a burst of light. You may never know what they were going through before you spoke to them. For someone struggling with depression, loneliness, or low self-worth, a kind word can be the spark that reminds them they matter.
The National Institutes of Health reports that social connection and positive interactions have measurable effects on mental health. Feeling seen and appreciated lowers stress hormones and increases serotonin. That means that a simple, heartfelt compliment can physically help someone feel better.
Think about the last time someone complimented you sincerely. It might have been about your smile, your outfit, or your effort on a project. For a moment, you probably felt lighter. That moment matters. Compliments are small gifts that cost nothing but can change everything.
The Art of Giving Genuine Compliments
A true compliment comes from observation and sincerity. You cannot fake it, and you should not overthink it. People feel the difference between words said out of habit and words that come from the heart.
Here are a few simple ways to give genuine compliments:
Notice the details. It could be a hairstyle, a piece of jewelry, or even the way someone handled a situation with patience.
Be specific. Instead of saying, “You look nice,” try, “That color looks great on you” or “Your smile brightened my morning.”
Focus on effort, not just appearance. Compliment someone for how hard they worked, how kind they were, or how creative they are.
Speak up. Do not keep kind thoughts to yourself. If you think something positive, say it.
Make it a habit. Aim to give at least one genuine compliment every day. It keeps your heart open and your focus outward.
Over time, this habit changes how you move through the world. You begin to look for the good, which naturally shifts your mindset from judgment to appreciation.
The Science Behind the Smile
Neuroscience supports what our hearts already know: kindness creates happiness.
Compliments release dopamine in both the giver and the receiver. That burst of feel-good chemistry builds a mental link between kindness and pleasure, making us want to repeat it.
Studies from Harvard Health Publishing show that simple social exchanges like compliments or expressions of gratitude lower anxiety, improve heart health, and strengthen relationships. The U.S. Surgeon General’s 2023 Advisory on Loneliness highlights the importance of connection as a key part of public health. Compliments are one of the easiest ways to build that connection.
When you offer a compliment, you are not just making someone smile. You are participating in something biologically healing. You are reminding two nervous systems — yours and theirs — that they are safe, valued, and part of something larger.
How Compliments Make the World Better
Imagine what would happen if more people looked up. If instead of staring at phones or hurrying past each other, we made eye contact, smiled, and said something kind. The energy of entire communities would change.
Compliments create ripples. The person you praise might go on to compliment someone else. That person might carry that kindness into their family, workplace, or classroom. Before long, one small compliment can travel through a chain of people you will never meet, spreading positivity farther than you could ever imagine.
When people feel seen, they act differently. They engage, they care, and they give back. Compliments can start movements, heal divides, and remind us that even when life feels heavy, beauty and goodness still exist all around us.
What You Can Try Today
Look up. Spend one day paying attention to people instead of screens or sidewalks.
Notice something you admire. Maybe it is a stranger’s shoes, a coworker’s attitude, or a neighbor’s yard.
Say it out loud. Let the person know you noticed. Be kind, specific, and sincere.
Write it down. End your day by writing three compliments you gave or received.
Teach it forward. Encourage your family, children, or friends to do the same. Make compliments part of your culture.
When you start giving compliments regularly, you will realize that your own confidence grows too. Looking up becomes natural. Smiling becomes easy. You begin to move through life with an open heart, and that changes everything.
Support on Your Journey
Complimenting others is one of the easiest yet most powerful acts of self-discovery. It teaches you to see beauty, connect with people, and open your heart. When you take the time to notice and appreciate others, you start to feel more grounded in who you are.
In our Groups and Neighbor Chat, we share stories like these — moments when a simple compliment changed a person’s outlook or helped someone rediscover their worth. Join us to learn, share, and remind each other that kindness is contagious and self-discovery begins with connection.
The next post in this series, “Gardening for Wellness: How Growing Plants Feeds Your Mind, Body, and Soul,” will explore how nurturing nature can help you heal yourself while caring for the earth.
Because the truth is simple: when you look up, you not only see others — you finally see yourself.
References
Harvard Health Publishing. “The Science of Kindness: How It Benefits You and Others.” https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/the-science-of-kindness
American Psychological Association. “The Power of Praise and Positive Feedback.” https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2019/05/praise-positive-feedback
Greater Good Science Center, UC Berkeley. “Why Compliments Make Us Feel So Good.” https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_compliments_make_us_feel_so_good
National Institutes of Health. “Social Connection and Mental Health.” https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2021/07/social-connection-mental-health
U.S. Surgeon General. “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation.” https://www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/priorities/loneliness/index.html
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Focus Keyword: complimenting others how simple words can change someone’s day
Title Tag: Complimenting Others: How Simple Words Can Change Someone’s Day
Meta Description: Discover how complimenting others can change lives. Learn how simple, genuine words can improve mood, build connection, and make the world a kinder place.
Excerpt: Complimenting others is a simple act that can transform your life and theirs. Learn how looking up, noticing people, and sharing kindness can change the world around you.
Tags: self-discovery, kindness, compliments, personal growth, positivity, emotional wellness, connection, gratitude, communication, community
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Category: Self-Discovery
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