Choose a Memory Poem – Taking Control of What You Hold On To
Choosing What Stays in Your Mind
There are moments in life that try to stay with you longer than they should. Bad memories have a way of showing up at the worst times. I have had those moments where something from the past tries to change my mood or pull me back into feelings I worked hard to move past. This choose a memory poem comes from learning that I have more control than I thought.
I used to think memories just happened to me. That I had to sit in them and feel whatever came with them. Over time, I realized I had a choice. I could acknowledge the bad memory, but I did not have to stay there. I could choose something different.
That choice became powerful.
Instead of letting the negative moments take over, I started creating good ones. Even in chaos.
Even when things were not perfect. I found ways to hold onto something positive. And when the bad memories tried to come back, I made a decision to focus on the good instead.
Choose a Memory Poem
I choose to create a happy memory where bad ones occurred. Then, when the lousy memory comes and tries to change my mood or attitude, I replay the good one over and over again.
I choose to create a happy memory despite the crazy and chaos in my life. Then, when the lousy memory comes and wants to make me depressed or feel helpless, I replay the good one over and over again.
I choose to create a happy memory even when people try to bring me down. Then, when the lousy memory and the oppression weigh on me, I replay the good one over and over again.
I choose to create a happy memory because I deserve peace. Then, when a terrible memory wants to bring shame and guilt, I replay the good over and over again.
I choose to create a happy memory because I just do. Screw the terrible memories. I replay the good over and over again.
From Love and Heartache Moments: Healing Poems After Divorce and Breakups
Part of the Life Moments Series
© 2025 Deborah Ann Martin. All rights reserved.
Reflection on My Choose a Memory Poem
This piece is very personal to me because it reflects something I had to learn the hard way.
There were times when negative memories would take over my thoughts without warning.
Something small would trigger them, and before I knew it, I was back in that moment, feeling everything all over again.
It felt like I had no control.
What changed for me was realizing that while I could not stop memories from coming up, I could choose how long I stayed there. That was a turning point. I started practicing shifting my focus. When a bad memory came in, I would acknowledge it, but then I would actively choose to replace it with something better.
At first, it took effort. It did not feel natural. But the more I did it, the easier it became.
This poem shows that repetition. It is not just a writing style, it is the practice itself. Over and over again, choosing the good. Over and over again, reminding myself that I deserve peace.
There is also strength in the last part of the poem. That moment of saying enough is enough. Letting go of the power those negative memories had over me. That was not about ignoring the past. It was about refusing to let it control my present.
If you struggle with this, know that you are not alone. Memories can be strong, but so are you.
You have the ability to shift your focus, even if it starts small.
Sometimes peace does not come from changing what happened. It comes from choosing what you hold onto.
The Style Behind the Words
Poetry Style Name: Reflective Repetitive Free Verse with elements of Affirmation Poetry and Confessional Poetry
Structure and Form: Multi-stanza free verse poem built on a highly repetitive, mantra-like structure. Each stanza begins with a variation of “I choose to create a happy memory” and is followed by a contrasting negative experience, then resolves with the repeated affirmation of replaying positive memories. This cyclical structure reinforces the theme of intentional mindset and emotional control.
Tone: Determined, reflective, and empowering with a defiant edge toward the end
Poetic Devices:
Meter: Medium-length lines with a steady, rhythmic, almost chant-like flow driven by repetition
Rhyme and Rhyme Scheme: No formal rhyme scheme (free verse), allowing the repetition to carry the musicality instead of rhyme
Sound and Rhythm: Strong, mantra-like rhythm created through repeated phrasing, giving the poem a meditative and affirmational quality
Imagery: Emotional imagery of “bad,” “lousy,” and “terrible” memories contrasted with “happy” ones and suggests mental replay and internal emotional landscapes rather than physical scenes
Storytelling: Less narrative and more cyclical-focuses on repeated emotional experiences and the conscious decision to respond differently each time
Repetition: Heavy use of anaphora: “I choose to create a happy memory…” and Refrain: “I replay the good one over and over again” reinforces control and resilience
Internal Monologue: Strong internal voice showing deliberate self-instruction and mindset shifting
Contrast: Positive vs. negative memories, Peace vs. chaos, depression, oppression, and guilt, Control vs. emotional overwhelm
Anaphora: Repetition at the beginning of each stanza creates emphasis and structure
Parallelism: Similar sentence structure across stanzas strengthens rhythm and clarity
Tone Shift: Begins reflective and intentional, Builds into stronger resolve, Ends with a blunt, defiant rejection of negative memories (“Screw the terrible memories”)
Symbolism: “Memory” represents emotional experience and mental focus, “Replay” symbolizes control over thought patterns and healing
Diction (Word Choice): Simple, direct language enhances accessibility and emotional clarity
Theme: Mental control, healing, choosing peace, and emotional resilience
Reading Level: 5th–7th grade, simple, direct, and impactful
Explore More Love and Heartache Moments
If this poem connects with you, there are many more moments like this in Love and Heartache Moments. This book explores healing, growth, and learning how to take back control of your life.
About the Life Moments Series
This poem is part of my Life Moments Series, which explores the beauty, heartbreak, and growth we experience in everyday life.
Each book in the series captures different themes, love, heartbreak, parenting, joy, childhood, and more.
You can read more poetry or explore all of my books
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References
Love and Heartache Moments: Healing Poems After Divorce and Breakups, Deborah Ann Martin, 2025.
Deborah Ann Martin Amazon Author Central Page: https://www.amazon.com/author/deborahamartin
About the Author:
Deborah Ann Martin is the founder of Surviving Life Lessons, a published author, poet, speaker, and trainer with over 20 years of management experience across multiple industries. An MBA graduate, U.S. veteran, single mother, and rare cancer survivor, Deborah brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her writing on resilience, leadership, personal growth, and overcoming adversity. Her mission is to empower others with practical wisdom and real-life insight to navigate life’s challenges with strength and purpose.
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