Why Cancer Pushed Me to Publish My First Poetry Book
- Deborah Ann Martin
- 22 hours ago
- 17 min read
Turning Heartbreak Into Hope With My First Poetry Book, Love & Heartache Moments
I had been writing poetry since I was a child.
Over the years, I wrote approximately one thousand poems.
Some were written on napkins. Some were written on scraps of paper. Others ended up in notebooks or on my computer.
I wrote about love, heartbreak, family, friendship, motherhood, divorce, faith, sadness, humor, and everyday life.
For years, I never thought much about what would happen to those poems after I was gone.
Then I was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer.
Suddenly, time felt different.
Cancer made me think about all the things I had put off. It made me think about the stories I had never written down, the projects I had never finished, and the things my children might never know about me.
I also began thinking about my poems.
What would happen to them if something happened to me?
Would my children know where they were?
Would anyone know which files mattered?
Would thousands of words that had followed me through my entire life simply disappear when my computer was eventually cleaned out, donated, or discarded?
That thought bothered me.
I had spent a lifetime writing those poems.
I did not want them to disappear.
So cancer pushed me to do something I had been putting off for years.
I published my first poetry book.
I called it Love & Heartache Moments.
And I chose that collection for a very specific reason.
I wanted to leave people with hope.
My Son Told Me to Stop Throwing Away My Poems
When my oldest son was around seven years old, he noticed that I wrote poems on napkins and scraps of paper.
Sometimes I would write something and then throw it away.
To me, it was simply a thought that had come to me.
To him, those words had value.
He told me to stop throwing my poems away and put them into a book.
His reasoning made me laugh.
He believed poets made money after they died, so if I saved my poems, he would make a lot of money from me someday.
He was seven.
But there was something underneath his funny little idea that stayed with me.
Don't throw away your words.
I wish I had listened sooner.
My Poems Followed Me Through My Life
I kept writing.
I did not sit down one day and decide, "I am going to become a poet."
I simply wrote.
When something was on my mind, I wrote.
When I was in love, I wrote.
When I was heartbroken, I wrote.
When something happened in my family, I wrote.
Sometimes the words came quickly.
Other times, a thought would stay in my mind until I eventually found a place to put it on paper.
Over the years, the poems accumulated.
Eventually, I had approximately one thousand.
They became a record of my life without me intentionally making them one.
Some poems reflected happiness.
Others reflected pain.
Some were about relationships.
Some were about motherhood.
Some were funny.
Some were sad.
Some were simply thoughts that I needed to get out of my head.
I never knew that one day those poems would become part of my legacy.
Cancer Made Me Think About What Would Happen to My Writing
When I was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer, I started looking at my life differently.
Cancer makes time feel less abstract.
Before cancer, it is easy to think:
"I'll do that someday."
"I'll organize those files later."
"I'll write that book eventually."
"I'll get around to it."
A serious diagnosis can make "someday" feel very different.
I began thinking about my computer.
My poems were there.
Hundreds and hundreds of them.
If I died, would my children know what they were looking at?
Would they know which files were important?
Would they know how many years of my life were represented by those documents?
Or would the computer eventually be wiped clean and the poems disappear?
I realized I had been treating my writing as though I had unlimited time.
Cancer reminded me that none of us really know how much time we have.
That realization gave me the motivation to finally publish.
Why I Chose Love & Heartache Moments
With approximately one thousand poems, I could not publish everything in one book.
I had to decide where to begin.
I asked myself:
If I only get the chance to publish one book, what do I want it to say?
I chose Love & Heartache Moments.
I chose it because I wanted to give people hope.
Heartbreak can make people believe their lives are over.
I know that feeling.
I have experienced relationship loss myself.
I know what it is like to have a life you thought would continue in one direction suddenly change completely.
I also know that life can continue after the ending you never wanted.
That became the message I wanted my first book to carry.
Heartbreak Can Make the Future Feel Impossible
When a relationship ends, a person may be grieving much more than the relationship itself.
They may be grieving:
The future they imagined
A home
Shared routines
Financial security
Friendship
Family traditions
Physical closeness
Trust
Their identity as part of a couple
The person they thought they would grow old with
People sometimes respond to heartbreak with simple statements.
"Just move on."
"There are plenty of other people."
"You'll find someone else."
"Everything happens for a reason."
Those words may be intended to help, but they do not necessarily reach someone who is deeply hurting.
When you are inside heartbreak, the future can feel very small.
You may not be able to imagine yourself happy again.
That is why I wanted my book to show something different.
Feelings can change.
Your life can change.
You can heal.
You can discover who you are again.
And your future does not have to end because one relationship ended.
My Own Divorce Shaped the Book
I was not writing about heartbreak from a distance.
I had lived through it.
I had been married for twenty-four years.
My marriage eventually ended after years of alcoholism, affairs, betrayal, and emotional pain.
I was approaching fifty.
Two of my children were still living at home.
There were financial problems.
There were changes in my career.
There were problems with the house.
There were decisions I never expected to have to make.
My life looked very different from the life I thought I would have.
But it continued.
I rebuilt.
I moved.
I worked.
I raised my children.
I eventually dated again.
I also learned that being intentionally single can be a perfectly good life.
That experience influenced the message behind Love & Heartache Moments.
I did not want to tell people that they had to find another relationship to be happy.
I wanted them to understand that they could become whole again.
Maybe that eventually meant another relationship.
Maybe it meant dating.
Maybe it meant finding love again.
Maybe it meant choosing to live alone.
The important part was not giving up on yourself.
Three Young Men Died After Breakups
There was another reason the subject of heartbreak stayed with me.
At one of the places where I had worked, three young men died by suicide after breakups with girlfriends.
This did not happen at my most recent job.
I cannot know everything that contributed to each death, and I would never want to suggest that a breakup alone explains suicide.
Suicide is complex.
There can be many contributing factors, including mental health conditions, hopelessness, relationship problems, financial stress, substance use, painful losses, serious illness, trauma, and other circumstances.
But those deaths stayed with me.
These were young men who had futures ahead of them.
Yet in those terrible moments, they apparently could not see a future beyond the relationships they had lost.
I kept thinking about that.
What does heartbreak feel like when a person becomes convinced that there is nothing beyond it?
What if someone could hear a different message before reaching that point?
What if someone could be reminded that the pain they are experiencing today does not have to define the rest of their life?
That became part of why I wanted Love & Heartache Moments to exist.
I Wanted My Book to Reach Someone Before It Was Too Late
I could not go back and change what happened to those young men.
But I could create something that might reach someone else.
I wanted a person going through divorce, rejection, betrayal, or a breakup to be able to open the book and see a journey.
Not just one poem about pain.
A journey.
The collection begins with love.
Then come the confusing parts.
The difficult parts.
The heartbreak.
The loneliness.
The questions.
The process of healing.
Then comes the possibility of dating again.
The possibility of opening your heart again.
The possibility of finding another kind of happiness.
I wanted the reader to see movement.
Because when you are heartbroken, sometimes you need someone to remind you that this moment is not the whole story.
The Book Follows the Emotional Journey
I did not want the book to pretend that love is always beautiful.
Real relationships can include:
Love
Joy
Confusion
Arguments
Betrayal
Longing
Regret
Loneliness
Forgiveness
Growth
Second chances
Love & Heartache Moments follows those emotions.
It moves from loving someone to experiencing the painful parts of a relationship.
Then it moves into heartbreak.
Then healing.
Then the possibility of dating again.
Then the possibility of finding love again.
And eventually, the possibility of growing old and living happily ever after.
That does not mean every reader will find a perfect relationship.
It means that one painful ending does not have to be the final page.
I Was Writing While Recovering From Cancer
What makes the story even more unusual is everything else that was happening at the same time.
Within the first year after my Stage IV cancer diagnosis, I was doing things that did not seem as though they should fit together.
I was:
Working
Going to medical appointments
Recovering from surgeries
Completing chemotherapy
Dealing with side effects
Moving from West Virginia to Virginia
Buying a house
Organizing old poems
Learning about publishing
Building my first poetry collection
Life did not stop while I became an author.
Cancer did not disappear while I worked on the book.
Everything overlapped.
One day I might be dealing with medical information.
Another day I might be working on poems.
Sometimes both happened on the same day.
I learned that you do not necessarily have to wait for life to become calm before doing something meaningful.
Sometimes you have to work with the life you have.
Gary Vincent Helped Me Publish the Book
My friend Gary Vincent worked with Burning Bulb Publishing.
He told me he would publish the book through his company if I wanted him to.
I accepted his help.
But I did not want to simply hand over my poems and have someone else make all the decisions.
I wanted to learn.
I wanted to understand what it took to turn a collection of poems into a finished book.
That meant learning about:
Choosing the poems
Organizing the collection
Creating an emotional progression
Editing
Formatting
Cover design
Front and back matter
Publishing requirements
Distribution
Promotion
I wanted to understand the process so that I could publish future books myself.
That mattered to me.
Cancer had already made me feel as though many parts of my life were outside my control.
Publishing gave me something I could control.
I could decide which poem came first.
I could decide what message the book carried.
I could decide what I wanted to leave behind.
Publishing Gave Me Something Beyond Being a Cancer Patient
When you have cancer, people can begin seeing you primarily as a patient.
Your conversations become about:
Symptoms
Scans
Bloodwork
Treatment
Medication
Insurance
Appointments
Survival
Those things are important.
But they are not the whole person.
I was still a writer.
I was still a mother.
I was still a woman with ideas, dreams, humor, memories, goals, and something to contribute.
Cancer was happening to me.
It did not own every part of me.
Publishing my poetry reminded me of that.
Writing Gave My Fear Somewhere to Go
I had been using poetry to process emotions long before cancer.
But cancer gave writing another purpose.
Fear can circle around in your mind endlessly.
Writing slows it down.
The page can hold thoughts that feel too heavy to carry internally.
Writing does not make the problem disappear.
It gives the problem somewhere to exist outside your head.
That can be powerful.
For me, poetry had always been a way of putting feelings into words.
During cancer, those words became even more important.
They reminded me that I was more than what was happening to my body.
Cancer Made Me Think About Legacy
The word "legacy" can sound like something reserved for people who are dying.
Cancer changed how I thought about it.
Everyone leaves something behind.
A legacy can be:
Children
Stories
Lessons
Work
Faith
Art
Books
Kindness
Memories
The people we helped
Publishing Love & Heartache Moments meant my poems would no longer exist only on my computer.
They were organized.
They were preserved.
They could be held in someone's hands.
My children could read them.
Someone I will never meet could discover them.
And the message inside them could continue even if I was no longer here.
That mattered to me.
I Did Not Want My First Book to Be About Dying
Cancer created the urgency.
But I did not want the book to be a goodbye.
I wanted it to be about continuing.
The collection begins with love and moves through pain toward healing and possibility.
That was the same direction I wanted my own life to move.
I did not want to spend whatever time I had left only preparing to die.
I wanted to create.
I wanted to publish.
I wanted to help.
I wanted to leave something useful behind.
Hope Does Not Mean Pretending Everything Is Fine
I do not believe in giving someone false hope.
Hope does not have to sound like:
"Everything happens for a reason."
"You will find someone better tomorrow."
"Just stop thinking about it."
"Be grateful it ended."
Sometimes hope is much more honest.
Hope can say:
This hurts, but it will not always feel exactly like this.
You do not have to solve your entire future today.
You may not believe you can heal yet, but you can stay long enough to discover whether healing comes.
The relationship ended.
Your value did not.
The next chapter may look completely different from the chapter you planned.
That is the kind of hope I wanted my poems to offer.
The Book Was My Way of Saying "Stay"
At its heart, Love & Heartache Moments was my way of saying:
Stay.
Stay through the heartbreak.
Stay through the night when you cannot imagine tomorrow.
Stay while the anger changes.
Stay while your identity rebuilds.
Stay long enough to discover who you are without the person who left.
Stay long enough to laugh again.
Stay long enough to find peace.
Stay long enough to love again if that is what you eventually want.
Or stay long enough to discover that you can build a wonderful life on your own.
A book cannot guarantee healing.
But sometimes a book can hold a little light while someone is trying to find the next step.
Publishing During Cancer Was an Act of Defiance
Cancer had introduced itself as a possible ending.
Publishing was an act of continuation.
Every poem I organized said:
I am still here.
Every page I prepared said:
My life contains more than disease.
Every publishing decision said:
I am planning for someone to read this in the future.
That future might include me.
It might continue after me.
Either way, the work would remain.
Life Continued in the Middle of Cancer
People sometimes wait for life to become calm before pursuing a dream.
I learned that calm does not always arrive on schedule.
There may always be:
Work
Illness
Family problems
Bills
Moves
Fear
Grief
Responsibilities
If I had waited for the perfect time, those poems might still be sitting on my computer.
I worked with the time and energy I had.
Some days I could accomplish a lot.
Some days I could not.
That was okay.
Progress still counted.
Protect Your Creative Work
If you have spent years writing, painting, photographing, recording music, creating recipes, or producing any other kind of creative work, do not assume your family will automatically know how to find it.
Consider:
Organizing digital folders
Giving files clear names
Keeping more than one backup
Using secure cloud storage
Printing important work
Telling someone you trust where important files are located
Keeping publishing information together
Keeping contracts and royalty information organized
Writing down unfinished project plans
Including important creative work in your estate planning
Your family cannot preserve what they cannot find.
A folder called "miscellaneous" might contain the work of your entire life.
I learned that lesson because cancer made me stop assuming I would always have more time.
You Do Not Have to Publish Everything at Once
When you have a large body of work, the amount can become overwhelming.
I had approximately one thousand poems.
I did not try to put all of them into one book.
I chose one emotional journey.
I selected the poems that supported that journey.
I started with the collection I most wanted to leave behind.
Your first project does not have to be huge.
It could be:
Ten poems
A short memoir
Family recipes
Letters to your children
A photo collection
A blog
Recorded memories
One finished painting
A small journal
Legacy does not have to begin with a massive project.
It can begin with saving something meaningful.
What I Wish Someone Had Told Me
I wish someone had told me to protect my writing long before cancer.
I wish I had listened sooner when my seven-year-old son told me to stop throwing my poems away.
I wish more people understood that heartbreak can become a serious mental health crisis for some people.
I wish every person who feels hopeless after a breakup knew that pain can change, even when it feels permanent.
I wish writers understood that publishing does not require waiting until life becomes easy.
And I wish I had understood sooner that my words might matter to someone I would never meet.
Most of all, I wish someone had said:
The work you create may become part of how another person gets through a difficult time.
If Someone You Love Is Feeling Hopeless
Do not dismiss someone's pain because the crisis began with a breakup.
Relationship loss can be connected with intense grief, shame, isolation, hopelessness, financial problems, housing changes, or the loss of an important support system.
Warning signs can include:
Talking about wanting to die
Saying there is no reason to live
Feeling trapped or like a burden
Withdrawing from other people
Giving away possessions
Increased substance use
Extreme mood changes
Saying goodbye unexpectedly
Looking for a way to die
Take these signs seriously.
You can ask directly whether someone is thinking about suicide.
You do not have to solve the entire situation yourself.
In the United States, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available by calling or texting 988.
If someone is in immediate danger, seek emergency help.
A book, poem, journal, or inspirational message should never be treated as a substitute for crisis or professional mental-health care.
Sometimes hope begins with simply getting someone safely through the next hour.
What to Say to Someone Who Is Heartbroken
Instead of saying:
"It was only a relationship."
"You need to move on."
"Other people have it worse."
"You are being dramatic."
"You will find someone new."
Try saying:
"I'm glad you told me."
"I am taking this seriously."
"You don't have to be alone right now."
"Let's get through today together."
"Would you like me to stay with you?"
"Let's get you some support."
If you are concerned that someone may be suicidal, ask directly and take the answer seriously.
Do not promise to keep suicidal thoughts secret.
Safety is more important than secrecy.
Questions to Ask When Cancer Creates Urgency
Cancer does not mean you have to turn your life into a race.
Rest matters.
Healing matters.
But a serious diagnosis can also be an opportunity to ask yourself what you have been postponing.
You might ask:
What have I been putting off?
Which unfinished project matters most?
What do I want my family to preserve?
Where are my important digital files?
Does anyone know how to access them?
What story do I want to tell?
What lesson could help someone else?
Can I divide this project into small steps?
Who could help me?
What can I complete now instead of waiting for perfect circumstances?
You do not have to finish everything.
You do not have to become constantly productive.
Sometimes the most important thing is simply identifying what matters.
Start With One Thing
That is what I eventually did.
I had approximately one thousand poems.
I could have become overwhelmed by the number.
Instead, I chose one collection.
One book.
One message.
One project.
That book became Love & Heartache Moments.
It was not everything I had written.
It was the beginning.
And sometimes beginning is the most important part.
Hope for Today
Within the first year after my Stage IV cancer diagnosis, I completed treatment, kept working, moved, bought a house, and began publishing my poetry.
Life was chaotic.
My body was recovering.
My future was uncertain.
But I had approximately one thousand poems that deserved more than being forgotten on a computer.
I chose Love & Heartache Moments because I wanted the first book I left behind to offer hope.
I wanted someone grieving a divorce or breakup to follow the poems from love, through confusion and pain, into healing, dating, second chances, and the possibility of happiness.
Those three young men's deaths had stayed with me.
I could not change their stories.
But I could create something that told another person:
There is more.
Cancer made me afraid I would run out of time.
Writing helped me use the time I had.
Publishing helped me preserve something that had been part of me since childhood.
And the book became proof that life was still happening.
It continued through heartbreak.
It continued through divorce.
It continued through cancer.
It continued through uncertainty.
It continued one poem at a time.
I had spent years writing my life down without realizing I was creating a legacy.
Cancer simply made me realize it was time to share it.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why did you choose Love & Heartache Moments as your first book?
I chose it because I wanted to offer hope to people going through divorce, rejection, heartbreak, or the end of a long-term relationship. The collection follows an emotional journey from love and pain toward healing and the possibility of another chapter.
Did cancer make you start writing poetry?
No. I had been writing poetry since childhood. Cancer gave me the urgency to organize and publish work I had already spent a lifetime creating.
Can writing help during cancer or heartbreak?
Writing may help some people express emotions, organize thoughts, reflect, and process difficult experiences. It is not a replacement for medical or mental-health care.
Can a breakup contribute to suicide risk?
Relationship problems or losses can be one factor associated with suicide risk, but suicide is complex and rarely has one single cause. Mental health conditions, hopelessness, substance use, financial stress, trauma, serious illness, and other circumstances may also contribute.
What should I do if someone talks about suicide?
Take the statement seriously. Stay with the person when immediate risk is present when you can do so safely, and connect the person with crisis or emergency support. In the United States, you can call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
How can I preserve writing stored on a computer?
Create clearly named folders, maintain multiple backups, use secure cloud storage, print important pieces when appropriate, and make sure someone you trust knows where important work can be found.
Do I need to publish my entire lifetime of work at once?
No. Start with one collection or project that carries the message you most want to share.
What if I am not ready to publish?
You can still preserve your work.
Organize it.
Back it up.
Print important pieces.
Tell someone where it is.
You can decide about publishing later.
The first step is making sure the work does not disappear.
Support on Your Journey
Heartbreak can make the future feel smaller than it really is.
Cancer can make time feel shorter than you expected.
Neither means your story is finished.
Surviving Life Lessons Community Groups are being formed to give people a place to talk about divorce, grief, loneliness, cancer, writing, rebuilding, and the unexpected challenges that happen alongside serious illness.
Neighbor Chat offers a relaxed, one-on-one place to talk when you need someone to listen without judging or rushing you.
Peer support does not replace medical, mental-health, financial, legal, or crisis services.
But sometimes having someone listen can help you organize your thoughts and figure out what you need next.
A poem may give someone hope.
A conversation may help someone take the next step.
Professional and crisis support can help keep someone safe long enough to discover the chapters that are still waiting to be written.
Find Your Community
No one should have to face life's challenges alone. At Surviving Life Lessons, we believe in life survivors helping life strugglers. Explore our growing Community Groups to connect with others who understand your journey, share encouragement, and find hope through meaningful conversations. You'll also have the opportunity to introduce yourself and share your own story of overcoming. Your story matters. It may be the encouragement someone else needs to keep moving forward, reminding them that they are not alone and that hope is always possible.
Your Story Matters
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Drop a comment, Say Hello, and join the conversation.
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References
**Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “Risk and Protective Factors for Suicide.”**
**Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “Suicide Prevention.”** https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/about/index.html
**988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. “Warning Signs.”**
**988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. “Risk Factors.”**
**988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. “Help Someone Else.”**
**988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. “Help Yourself.”**
**988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. “What to Expect.”**
**988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. “If You Need Emotional Support, Reach Out to the 988 Lifeline.”**
About the Author:
Deborah Ann Martin is the founder of Surviving Life Lessons, a published author, poet, speaker, and trainer with over 20 years of management experience across multiple industries. An MBA graduate, U.S. veteran, single mother, and rare cancer survivor, Deborah brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her writing on resilience, leadership, personal growth, and overcoming adversity. Her mission is to empower others with practical wisdom and real-life insight to navigate life’s challenges with strength and purpose.
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