Leadership Styles in the Real World – Finding What Fits You
- Deborah Ann Martin
- Feb 22
- 4 min read
One of the hardest parts of becoming a supervisor is figuring out who you are as a leader.
Everyone talks about leadership, but no one hands you a manual with real-world examples of how it actually works. What do you do when your team is slacking? What about when they’re grieving? What if half of them are older than you and the other half don't trust you yet?
That’s where leadership styles come in.
Most people naturally lean toward one or two types of leadership. But great supervisors also learn to stretch when the situation calls for something different. You may feel like a Coaching Leader, but in a crisis, you might need to be more Authoritative. Or when morale tanks after layoffs, you might need to tap into your Servant Leadership side.
This chapter breaks down the eight most common leadership styles with examples, pros, cons, and tips to help you find your fit.
1. Servant Leadership
Leads by serving – helps the team first.
Real-World Example:
You stay late to help your team finish a task. You refill the printer yourself. You check in with someone quietly and make sure they’re okay before asking about deadlines.
Pros:
Builds trust.
Increases morale.
Makes employees feel valued.
Cons:
Can be taken advantage of.
Sometimes seen as too soft or indecisive.
Try This:
Start your one-on-ones by asking, “What do you need from me to succeed this week?”
2. Authoritative Leadership
Firm but fair – sets vision and expects results.
Real-World Example:
A new project launches and you take charge, clearly outlining goals, roles, and expectations. You set a strong direction and expect people to follow.
Pros:
Great during a change or crisis.
Provides structure.
Reduces confusion.
Cons:
Can come off as controlling.
Less room for employee input.
Try This:
Be clear and confident about decisions, but explain the “why” behind them.
3. Democratic Leadership
Team has a say – asks for input, then decides.
Real-World Example:
You hold team meetings to brainstorm ideas. You ask for votes before rolling out changes in workflow. You take suggestions seriously.
Pros:
Boosts morale.
Encourages teamwork.
Employees feel heard.
Cons:
Slower decision-making.
Risk of indecisiveness in urgent situations
Try This:
Let the team choose between two options you've pre-vetted.
4. Laissez-Faire Leadership
Hands-off – trusts team to self-manage.
Real-World Example:
You give your team full control of a project. You check in occasionally but mostly let them handle it.
Pros:
Empowers confident teams.
Encourages innovation and ownership.
Cons:
Can lead to chaos if the team lacks direction or experience.
Try This: Use Laissez-Faire only with high-performers or teams that have proven reliability.
5. Coaching Leadership (This is Us)
Grow people – helps the team learn and improve.
Real-World Example:
You give feedback that helps people grow, not just correct mistakes. You offer stretch assignments to help people develop new skills. You care about their long-term success.
Pros:
Builds trust.
Increases retention.
Develops future leaders.
Cons:
Takes time.
Not effective if the employee isn’t motivated to learn.
Try This:
Ask, “What do you want your resume to look like in a year, and how can I help you get there?”
This is the tone and style of this book—firm but fair, supportive but structured. Coaching is our leadership heart.
6. Transactional Leadership
Rewards for work – follows rules, gives rewards or punishments.
Real-World Example:
You set weekly quotas. If employees hit the numbers, they get a bonus or reward. If they don’t, there are consequences.
Pros:
Clear expectations.
Easy to measure success.
Cons:
Doesn’t build a connection.
Can feel robotic or cold.
Try This:
Pair transactional structure with personal check-ins to humanize the system.
7. Transformational Leadership
Inspires change – motivates the team to do big things.
Real-World Example:
You get people excited about a new vision. You use storytelling to show how their work makes a difference. You lead with passion.
Pros:
Inspires innovation.
Drives high performance.
Builds momentum.
Cons: Can burn people out if there’s no follow-through or structure.
Try This:
Share real stories that connect the team’s work to the bigger mission.
8. Situational Leadership
Adapts style – changes based on the team or task.
Real-World Example: You use authoritative leadership during a deadline crisis, then switch to coaching when things settle. You treat a new employee differently from a seasoned expert.
Pros:
Flexible.
Responsive to individual needs.
Great for dynamic teams.
Cons:
Hard to master.
Can confuse people if not explained well.
Try This:
Tell your team when you're switching gears. “I’m going to be more hands-on this week because the deadline is tight.”
Final Thought: Leadership Is About Finding What Fits You
Most strong leaders are a blend. You might be a Coaching Leader who sometimes uses Servant traits. Or a Transformational Leader who uses Transactional systems to stay on track.
What matters most is this: know yourself, grow yourself, and lead with intention. Your leadership style doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be real.
Finding what fits you as a leader means understanding your strengths, stretching when needed, and connecting with your team in ways that feel authentic.
Support for Supervisors
If you’re feeling the weight of leadership and wondering if it’s worth it, you’re not alone. That quiet strength, that purpose-driven leadership? It matters. And you don’t have to carry it alone.
Join a peer group to talk with other leaders who get it
Use Neighbor Chat to vent or get quick advice
Try a Next Step Coaching session to reconnect with your purpose
Your work is worth it. And so are you. Visit SurvivingLifeLessons.com for your next step.
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