Conflict Resolution When Both Employees Are Right (and Alpha)
- Deborah Ann Martin
- 3 hours ago
- 5 min read
Conflict is part of leadership. It doesn’t always mean yelling or drama, sometimes, it’s two capable people quietly locking horns over control.
As a supervisor, your job isn’t just to break up the tension. Your job is to guide your team through it, so no one loses face, and the work still gets done.
I’ve been there. Two high-performing employees. Same role. Same goal. Same Type-A energy. And neither one was backing down.
They weren’t rude. They weren’t unprofessional. But under the surface, it was a power struggle. And it was killing productivity. That’s why conflict resolution isn’t just about peace, it’s about progress.
Here’s a structured approach you can take when you’re facing a clash between two alpha personalities.
The Case: Two Alphas, One Role
Let’s say you have two top-performing team members, let’s call them Jordan and Taylor. Both have been assigned to manage a high-priority project. They both want to take the lead. Neither wants to follow.
You start hearing passive-aggressive comments in meetings. Work stalls because both are waiting to make the final decision. Other team members feel the tension. Deadlines are slipping. Morale is quietly crumbling.
This isn’t personal. It’s a power struggle. And it’s your job to resolve it before it escalates.
Let’s walk through the conflict resolution process step by step.
1. Spot the Conflict Early (and Don’t Avoid It)
The earlier you intervene, the easier the repair. Conflict, left alone, spreads like mold. Others start taking sides. Team culture takes a hit. The longer you ignore it, the bigger the clean-up.
Action: Schedule a check-in the moment you notice the tension. Don’t wait until it explodes.
2. Approach First, but Stay Approachable
If you notice the issue, you should start the conversation. But also make space for team members to come to you. Let them know you welcome conflict resolution, not just praise and updates.
How I do it: I’ll say, “I noticed things feel a little tense around the project. Have you felt that too?” It opens the door without blame.
3. Gather Information from All Sides
Talk to Jordan and Taylor separately at first. Get their perspectives.
Ask open-ended questions like:
“What do you think is causing the delay?”
“How do you feel about the team dynamics right now?”
“What would help this go more smoothly for you?”
You’re not judging, just gathering.
4. Use “I” Statements to Understand Perspectives
Bring them together and establish ground rules for respectful dialogue.
Encourage each person to speak using “I” statements:
“I feel like I’m not being heard.”
“I’m worried that decisions are being made without me.”
“I feel frustrated when my input isn’t considered.”
“I” statements lower defenses. They help people speak to impact instead of accusation.
5. Identify the Real Root Issue
This isn’t about email formats or calendar invites. The real issue is control.
Ask:
“What’s most important to you in this project?”
“What does ‘ownership’ mean to each of you?”
“What part of this process feels threatened or taken over?”
Often, you’ll uncover that both parties just want their expertise recognized.
6. Analyze What You’ve Learned
Now that you have the full picture, take a step back.
Where are their strengths?
Where is the overlap?
Where could responsibilities be split without weakening the project?
Ask yourself: How can we reframe this conflict into an opportunity for expanded leadership, not just a winner and a loser?
7. Encourage Active Listening and Empathy
Before moving to solutions, slow down and make sure both parties can reflect on what the other said.
Try:
“Can you repeat what Jordan said in your own words?”
“What do you think Taylor is hoping to achieve?”
This forces people to see each other, not just oppose each other.
8. Brainstorm Solutions Together
Now brainstorm as a team:
What are the ways this project can be split?
Where can each person lead?
Is there another area or task where one of them could take full ownership?
For larger group dynamics, I’ve used tools like the fishbone diagram to analyze root causes. In this case, you may not need it, but the spirit of brainstorming holds. Get ideas on the table.
9. Compromise Strategically
Your job is to find balance without ego loss.
You might say: “Both of you bring strengths. Jordan, your process discipline is incredible. Taylor, your creative execution is top-notch. We’re going to split the project: Jordan, you’ll own the timeline, QA, and documentation. Taylor, you’ll lead rollout and training.”
And then, here’s the trick: you assign one of them to a new project or initiative in an area that needs help.
Maybe Taylor has experience with client onboarding. Great. Have them lead a new onboarding revamp while Jordan continues optimizing backend processes.
Now they’re both alphas, just not fighting over the same hill.
10. Create SMART Goals to Track Progress
Make sure the new roles are clear, with goals that are:
Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Realistic
Time-bound
This prevents future confusion about who owns what.
11. Agree on the First Step Together
Ask:
“What’s the first step we can all commit to after this meeting?”
Examples:
Updated task ownership document
Revised project timeline
Follow-up kickoff communication
Immediate action reinforces alignment.
12. Monitor and Follow Up
Conflict resolution isn’t one-and-done.
Check back in a week. Then again in two.
Ask:
“Is the new division working?”
“Any tension I should be aware of?”
“How are you feeling about your piece of the project?”
This shows accountability, and it prevents relapse.
Final Thoughts: Conflict Can Reveal Leadership Potential
Some of the best leaders I’ve seen started as the “difficult” ones. They were strong-minded, passionate, and direct. But with coaching and clarity, they turned into powerful contributors, because they cared deeply.
As a supervisor, your job is to channel that intensity, not squash it.
When you manage conflict well, your team learns that hard conversations can lead to better roles, clearer work, and renewed respect.
What You Can Try Today
Think about a past or current conflict in your team. Where did it start? What might the real issue be?
Practice using “I” statements in your next difficult conversation.
Try splitting one responsibility between two people, based on strengths, not just titles.
Keep a Conflict Resolution Log: track what worked, what didn’t, and what you’d do differently next time.
NEXT STEPS
Managing conflict isn't about choosing sides.
It's about unlocking the strengths behind the struggle.
If you're facing a power struggle in your team, or if you need help turning tension into trust, we’re here.
Join our peer group for practical feedback on real team dynamics.
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About the Author:
Deborah Ann Martin is the founder of Surviving Life Lessons, a published author, poet, speaker, and trainer with over 20 years of management experience across multiple industries. An MBA graduate, U.S. veteran, single mother, and rare cancer survivor, Deborah brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her writing on resilience, leadership, personal growth, and overcoming adversity. Her mission is to empower others with practical wisdom and real-life insight to navigate life’s challenges with strength and purpose.
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