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Becoming Your True Self: How Joy and Purpose Return When You Rediscover Who You Are

Updated: Nov 24

Somewhere along the way, many of us lose ourselves. We take on roles, responsibilities, and expectations until we start living for everyone else. We forget what makes us feel alive. We stop doing the things that once filled us with joy because life gets busy, responsibilities pile up, and survival replaces purpose.


When I started my self-discovery journey, I realized how much of me had been buried under years of taking care of everyone else. I was a mom, a worker, a student, a friend, a caregiver—but I wasn’t me. I had forgotten what I loved, what made me laugh, and what gave me peace.


The more I tried to make everyone else happy, the emptier I felt inside. My turning point came when I began creating this website, Surviving Life Lessons. Through sharing my story and connecting with others, I started remembering who I was before the pain, before the expectations, before the chaos. And with every blog post, every message, and every group conversation, a piece of myself came back.


Rediscovering your true self isn’t selfish—it’s essential. You can’t live with purpose if you’ve forgotten who you are. When you reconnect with your authentic self, joy begins to return, and purpose flows naturally from that place

A woman finds comfort in stillness, becoming her true self.
Self-trust isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up.

Why We Lose Ourselves

It doesn’t happen overnight. Losing yourself is a slow fade that often begins with love and good intentions. We pour into others, trying to be dependable, kind, and strong. But over time, if we never refill our own cup, we run dry.


We start saying things like, “I don’t have time for me,” or “I used to love that, but I can’t anymore.” Before we know it, we stop dreaming. We stop creating. We stop being curious. Life becomes a checklist instead of an adventure.


For many of us, the loss comes after pain, grief, divorce, illness, trauma, or disappointment. Those moments shake our identity. We start questioning everything we believed about who we were. The pain changes us, but sometimes it also traps us.


Rediscovering yourself means giving yourself permission to explore again, to ask, Who am I now? What makes me happy? What makes me feel alive?


You are not who you used to be, and that’s okay. Growth means change. The person you were before the pain got you here. The person you’re becoming will carry you forward.


Finding Joy in the Small Things Again

When we think of “purpose,” we often imagine something huge—starting a movement, writing a book, changing the world. But the truth is, purpose starts small.


Joy is one of the first signs you’re rediscovering who you are. It’s the spark that tells you you’re on the right path. The first time you smile doing something you used to love, that’s your soul waking up.


Maybe for you it’s gardening, baking, photography, volunteering, or painting. Maybe it’s as simple as taking a quiet walk or reading a book for pleasure again.


I remember when I wrote my first blog post here—it wasn’t perfect, but it was real. It was me rediscovering my voice. That small act gave me back something I didn’t even know I’d lost: my sense of purpose.


Joy doesn’t have to be loud or grand. Sometimes it’s a soft whisper reminding you that you’re still here, still capable of feeling, still worthy of happiness.


Helping Others While Being True to Yourself

Many of us find meaning through helping others, but we often forget that purpose doesn’t mean losing ourselves in the process. Helping others should flow from your strengths and passions—not guilt or obligation.


When you serve from a place of authenticity, you fill others and yourself. When you serve from exhaustion, resentment grows. The balance lies in aligning what you do for others with what brings you joy.


For example:

  • If you love to cook, bring meals to someone who’s grieving.

  • If you’re crafty, crochet baby blankets for hospitals or hats for cancer patients.

  • If you’re handy, fix something for an elderly neighbor.

  • If you’re a good listener, volunteer with a peer-support group.


Your talents were never meant to sit on a shelf. They were meant to be used. When you blend your unique gifts with compassion, you’re not just helping others—you’re living your purpose.

But always remember: your purpose should fill your soul, not drain it.


Learning the Power of Boundaries

Rediscovering yourself also means learning when to say no.


When you’ve spent years putting everyone else first, boundaries can feel selfish at first. But they’re not—they’re sacred. Boundaries are the lines that protect your peace, energy, and emotional health. Without them, you lose yourself all over again.


Saying no doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you care enough about your health and purpose to choose where to invest your energy.


If you keep saying yes to things that don’t align with who you are, you’ll stay stuck in burnout. But when you say yes to things that match your values and passions, life starts feeling meaningful again.


Purpose thrives in balance. Rest and boundaries are what make your good heart sustainable.


The Importance of Rest and Reflection

Many people associate purpose with constant motion. We think we have to always be doing something meaningful. But part of rediscovering your purpose means learning to rest.


Rest isn’t laziness—it’s restoration. It’s where creativity is born. It’s where peace returns.


When you give yourself time to slow down, you make space for clarity. You start hearing your inner voice again—the one that knows what matters most to you.


Try setting aside quiet moments for reflection each day. Journal your thoughts. Sit in nature. Pray or meditate. These small acts reconnect you with your core and remind you what’s truly important.


Signs You’re Rediscovering Your True Self

When you begin to align with who you really are, life starts to feel different. You might notice:

  • You laugh more easily.

  • You feel peaceful, even when life isn’t perfect.

  • You stop comparing yourself to others.

  • You start saying no without guilt.

  • You feel excited about small things again.

  • You surround yourself with people who make you feel seen and supported.


That’s the power of self-discovery—it’s not about becoming someone new, it’s about remembering the person you were always meant to be.


How Rediscovery Leads to Purpose

When you know who you are, you naturally discover what matters to you. Purpose grows from self-awareness.


Your passions, interests, and values aren’t random—they’re clues. They’re the compass guiding you toward the kind of impact you’re meant to make.


If you’re compassionate, your purpose might involve comforting others. If you’re creative, your purpose might involve inspiring others. If you’re analytical, your purpose might involve solving problems or creating systems that help people thrive.


Your purpose doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s. It’s unique to you because it’s built from your story, your strengths, and your heart.


Steps to Start Rediscovering Yourself

If you’re ready to start this journey, here are a few steps that can help:

1. Spend time alone without distractions. Turn off your phone, the TV, and the noise of life. Sit with your thoughts. Ask yourself what truly brings you peace.

2. Make a list of what used to make you happy. Look back at childhood, young adulthood, and the seasons before life got heavy. Which activities made you lose track of time? Try reintroducing one of them into your life.

3. Reflect on your strengths and talents. Everyone has something special to offer. What comes naturally to you? What do others often thank you for?

4. Reconnect with supportive people. Surround yourself with those who lift you up, not drain you. Join a group that encourages growth and healing.

5. Give yourself permission to change. Who you were before the pain isn’t who you have to stay. Growth is a sign of strength, not loss.

6. Set clear boundaries. Learn to protect your time and peace. You can’t rediscover yourself if your life is consumed by everyone else’s needs.

7. Try something new. Sometimes, purpose hides behind curiosity. Take a class, volunteer, or start a creative project. You might find a new passion waiting for you.


When Guilt Tries to Steal Your Joy

Many people feel guilty for focusing on themselves after years of helping others. But rediscovering yourself isn’t abandoning others—it’s preparing yourself to give more meaningfully.


When you care for your spirit, you’re stronger, calmer, and more compassionate. You become a better friend, parent, partner, and leader because you’re living from fullness, not emptiness.

You deserve to feel joy. You deserve to have a life that lights you up. Guilt has no place in a healed heart.


Finding Your People

Rediscovering yourself is easier when you don’t walk alone. Community is one of the most powerful ways to stay on the path of healing and growth.


That’s why I created this website—not just as a place to write, but as a place where people can connect, talk, and share their stories.


When you join others who are also rebuilding their lives, you realize that none of us are as alone as we feel. You find inspiration, accountability, and hope in others’ journeys.


Your purpose often reveals itself through relationships. The more you love and learn from others, the clearer your calling becomes.


A Heart That Helps Heals Itself

When you rediscover yourself, your purpose will naturally start including others. You’ll see needs around you that match your strengths. You’ll feel drawn to comfort those facing the same kind of pain you’ve overcome.


Helping others isn’t something you force, it becomes part of who you are. It’s the natural outpouring of a healed heart.


And when you help from that place, you no longer lose yourself, you find yourself over and over again.


Closing Reflection

You are not lost. You are in the process of being found. Every layer you peel back, every truth you face, every act of kindness you give—it’s all bringing you closer to your true self.


You don’t need to have all the answers. Just start by being curious again. Ask what brings you peace, what fills you with joy, and what reminds you that you matter.


The more you live in alignment with who you truly are, the more your purpose will unfold naturally.


Your life isn’t over after pain—it’s being rewritten with wisdom, strength, and love. And this time, you get to be the author.


Support on Your Journey

If you’re ready to rediscover who you are and live with purpose again, don’t do it alone. Join our Life Survivors Group and connect with others on the same path of rediscovery.


If you’ve found healing and want to give back, visit Neighbor Chat and be the light someone else needs today.


Whether you’re still healing or ready to help, your story matters here. Together, we can rediscover joy, purpose, and the beauty of being our true selves.



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