I am a 41-year old divorced full-time single parent and I have a full time career. After work, dinner and chores five days a week, I'm lucky if I have five minutes to sit down. Yet, there is so much pressure to date and find someone. First question I always get from family or friends when I see them is "So, have you met anyone interesting?!" Shamefully after 11 years of being divorced, my response is still "Nope sure haven't!”
I've met men thru friend circles, I've met men from work and yes I have even met men from online dating sites. I would say that on average my dating relationships have either fizzled by date one or they have turned into longer than expected flight delays. Most have ended on my terms but some have ended in glass-shattering heartbreak. I look back at them all and still ask myself, have I truly ever been in love?
I have always pictured myself with a fun-loving husband, settled down with the perfect little family. But, after one failed marriage and now 11 years of failed short-term relationships, that picture has faded like a 1980s Polaroid.
I'm simply tired of the never-ending circle of dating and getting no where and I'm tired of feeling hopeless. I realize now more than ever in my life that I need guidance from my Lord and Savior to point me in the right direction.
Scripture tells us to start with being someone who loves the lord above all else because the Lord deserves your heart before any man does.
1) Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness,and all these things will be added to you.
2) Matthew 10:37 Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
3) Deuteronomy 6:5 You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
4) Luke 12:34 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
5) Psalm 18:1-3 “I love You, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised;so shall I be saved from my enemies."
These scriptures speak so loudly to me!
When I read these verses, I mean really read them, I realize how pathetic I've been. I actually feel like a huge disappointment. I am always so focused on finding Mr. Right and not my Lord and Savior. He deserves my whole heart and thoughts. No man is or should be more important then my Heavenly Father. I have to love him unconditionally first because that my friends is true love!
So back to my original question. Have I ever truly been in love? As I write this, my eyes tear up because I know the answer. YES! YES! YES! I've been in love with someone that I talk to everyday, that I lean on when I'm heart-broken or when I'm weak and need support. When I turn my back on him and forget about him, he is always there waiting for me to run home to embrace him. That is the kind of man I've been searching for all of my life and I already have him. Now is the scripture saying I don't even have to date? Probably not, I know my Heavenly Father wants to bring a strong, loving and supportive man in to my life. But I am pretty sure, he needs me focused on him right now, so that I can learn what type of man I need in my life that is in his image. Wow and maybe just maybe, if I'm focused on him more, I will save myself a lot of wasted time thinking and doing for the next Mr. Wrong. I'm confident that Mr. Right will show up on Gods watch, not mine.